And now, the end is near;
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend, Ill say it clear,
Ill state my case, of which I’m certain.
I’ve lived a life that’s full.
I’ve traveled each and every highway;
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.
For whatever reason comicmix has decided not to continue featured articles from me and my other columnists. Three weeks ago I turned down an offer to write for another site because I’m to busy for another deadline. That’s what I told the site. Truth is I have two things going for me, the first is I’m damn sexy, the second is I’m loyal like a puppy. O.K. I have one thing going for me, I’m loyal like a puppy, no, wait I do have two things going for me, I am damn sexy even if I do say so myself.
Now I find myself with a bit of free time and you know what?
I don’t want to write for another site. I like it where I am.
Look, I’m living the goddamn life of Riley here. I’m creating TV shows I’m writing books I’m about to run a another entertainment company I’m doing just fine without the weekly drag of coming up with stuff for comicmix.
But I love this shit.
I have a great life and I have few regrets. One thing I like about me is I put it all out there. Love me or hate me I put it ALL out there. Won’t you guys miss that? You need a guy like me to love or hate. You need me to piss you off and you need me to make you laugh. Of course I’m speaking of ALL the comicmix columnists and using myself as an example. You need us. Not just me…really.
If I may take a moment and just talk about me…Asian girls…YOU NEED ME.
Look, I’m trying to be serious here. I’m sorry to get off track. On the serious tip, Asian girls you REALLY need me.
Anywho, I mentioned I was loyal like a puppy and my loyalty makes writing for another site not sit well with me. I mean comicmix was unlike any other site out there and a great deal of that is because of the columns. You hear that powers that be at comicmix? We helped build you. We help create the ‘mix’ in comicmix.
You need us.
Well then if that’s the case, I’m now officially pissed!!! You mother fuckers think you can just use me? Did you think you COULD STEAL MY IDEAS? DID YOU THINK YOU COULD STEAL FROM MICHAEL DAVIS? FROM BEN SIEGEL? FROM MYER LANSKY??
Sorry, I was watching Bugsy.
I’m just kidding about the pissed part also. I’m not pissed. How could I be? This was a wild ride and a lot of fun, but really, won’t you miss my rants? Won’t you miss my Death Ray? Won’t you miss how I get all deep and tell you stuff that you never expected from me? Won’t you miss the witty way I connect two seemingly impossible points? Won’t you miss my annual Comic Con columns? Won’t you miss my tales from the hood? Won’t you miss, is you stupid?
Hey, now that I think of it; powers that be at comicmix, IS you stupid?
Nah, I know it’s all about the business guys. Or maybe not. Maybe just maybe the powers that be just hate me and instead of doing away with me (they can’t because of my massive power in the industry. Oh you think I’m kidding about that massive power? You have no idea who the Frank you are dealing with buddy. You try getting 25 rooms at Comic Con the WEEK before the con because some idiot canceled the rooms you had set up. Hell I got those 25 rooms back with ONE phone call. Then get that same idiot who thought she had some juice and canceled the rooms in the first place to apologize to you like the little bitch she was. Tell me how that works out for you. You get Ludacris, yeah THAT Ludacris to host YOUR Comic Con party. Tell me how THAT works out for you) wait a sec, where was I? Oh yeah, maybe just maybe the powers that be just hate me and instead of doing away with me they get rid of all the columnists just so it does not look like it’s all about me. Why would the powers that be go though all this trouble.
Why? WHY you ask?
Because I’m black.
See that? Did you see what I did? In one, way to long paragraph I bragged about my power, dropped some serious knowledge about my reach, insulted some hotel executive and made a joke.
Won’t you miss that? Wait! The one thing missing is a sad story from my childhood; and an Asian girl reference. So insert the following passage in there someplace:
My stepfather came home drunk. This was not rare but this time he had a puppy. Man I was glad to see that puppy. That puppy meant to me that my stepfather was trying to do the right thing; he was trying to reach me with that puppy. “Is that for me?” I asked already knowing the answer in my heart. The very same heart that was filled with love for this man at this moment. “IS WHAT FOR YOU?” He answered…loudly. “The puppy.” I said with a smile. “WHAT PUPPY?” He said again, loudly. I started to answer assuming this was his way of playing a game with me when I noticed something strange, my stepfather had tipped his head back and was bringing the puppy to his lips…
He was trying to drink the puppy.
I found out later that he dropped his beer coming out of a bar and when he went to pick it up, he picked up the puppy instead.
“Ugh.” He said as the puppy (perhaps sensing danger with his puppy sense) peed in his mouth. “Tastes like piss.” He said while pausing…before he tipped the puppy to his mouth again.
Won’t you miss that? I know, I know so will I. Wait; I forgot the Asian girl reference. Here you go:
“Tastes like piss.” He said while pausing…before he tipped the puppy to his mouth again. Years later I would tell that story to an Asian girl hoping for understanding, hoping for love. Hoping she would love me… long time.
SEE? Won’t you miss all of that? Sure you will.
Well this does not have to be goodbye. I’ve gotten a lot of requests over the years (some with $ backing behind it) to write a blog. So that’s what’s I’m gonna do. I love comicmix so much I’m not going to write for another site, I’m going to write for me.
You can find me every Friday (I hope) at: michaeldavisworld.com I may or may not do more than one a week but I like this Friday thing. All this said if Mike Gold wants me back at comicmix I’m there. I have no idea how I will do without the massive amount they were paying me there. I guess it’s back to my paper route; I have to get my milk money somewhere.
I hope that I have been an interesting read at least. This is the 90th article I have written and I have loved this run. I’m grateful for the time I’ve spent here and look forward to seeing you all at michaeldavisworld.com.
I also wish comicmix well. It’s still my favorite site on the net and Mike Gold will always be my friend. Regardless of him firing me…because I’m black.
Thanks, to all my follow columnists and to the un-official columnists, Vinnie, Russ, Marc, Reg, Jeremiah and last but not least my boy Shane. I’ll leave you with this:
For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way…