Goebbels Sucks! By Mike Gold – Brainiac On Banjo #239

September 5, 2011 Mike Gold 9 Comments

OK, doing a tell-all interview is one thing, but it has taken 66 years for Brunhilde Pomsel to make a clean breast of her relationship with Joseph Goebbels. As it turns out, 100 year-old Brunhilde still holds quite a grudge.

From 1942 to 1945 she was secretary to the Nazi Party’s minister of propaganda and, briefly, der führer. Brunhilde recently ratted out her very late boss to the magazine Der Bild. Unlike, say, Adolf Hitler’s secretaries, she was significantly less than kind. She thought him “swine” and “a monster,” noting “You couldn’t get close to him. He never once asked me a personal question. Right up until the end I don’t think he knew my name.” She said she was unaware of the extermination camps, although it was clear to her that nobody around the office had much nice to say about gays, Jews or Gypsies.

To this very day, she’s particularly pissed that her boss wasn’t captured and held for trial. For those who missed any of the several hundred movies on the subject, after Adolf offed himself Joey and his wife Magda gave their six children cyanide – at least one of the children, the 12 year old, figured out what was happening and fought to save her life. Once the deeds were done, Germany’s führer-for-a-day shot Magda and then himself.

Brunhilde found that cowardly. Better that he be captured by the Allies and held for trial and then execution.

I disagree. Joey saved us all some serious money by blowing his brains out. It was kinda rough on the kids, though.

Hitler’s secretary Traudl Junge, found her master to be “a pleasant boss and a fatherly friend.” She’s the one who typed up Adolf’s will in the bunker. Secretary Christa Schroeder appreciated that Adolf was nice enough to be concerned about his staff, to visit them in the hospital and help them score good husbands. Of course, it’s well known that Hitler also liked dogs and babies.

That Goebbels was a complete asshole is hardly surprising. In fact, it’s a matter of historical record. But I think you have to be a particularly massive asshole in order to remain so hated 66 years after your death.

Sigh. A woman scorned. Ain’t I right, fellas?

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Media metaphysician Mike Gold kicks rock’n’blues ass each week on Weird Sounds Inside The Gold Mind; streaming four times a week on www.getthepointradio.com and available at that same venue on demand for those who can’t grasp the concept of “live on tape.” He also joins MDWers Martha Thomases and Michael Davis as a weekly columnist at www.comicmix.com, where he lives to annoy Glenn Hauman.