Bill Maher Is A Rapist? By Mike Gold – Brainiac On Banjo #253

December 12, 2011 Mike Gold 1 Comment

This was not the month to let your subscription to the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology run out.

According to that august trade journal, shrinks at the University of British Columbia and the University of Oregon asked 770 Americans and Canadians the musical question “if a fictional driver damaged a parked car and left the scene, then found a wallet and took the money, was the driver more likely to be a teacher, an atheist teacher, or a rapist teacher?” Guess who won the big prize?

You betcha. The atheist teacher.

Yes, friend, atheists are regarded as less trustworthy than rapists.

Study co-author Azim Shariff (and we can only guess who his invisible friend is), an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Oregon, told Kimberly Winston of the Religion News Service (and we can only guess who her invisible friend is) “People find atheists very suspect. They don’t fear god so we should distrust them; they do not have the same moral obligations of others. This is a common refrain against atheists. People fear them as a group.”

You don’t trust me because I don’t believe in your voodoo? You trust rapists more than you trust me because I find belief in an amorphous hoary thunderer to be unlikely? Really? Damn, I haven’t seen how your holy book has done such a great job in preventing murder and rape and pillage. In fact – fact – there is an overwhelming amount of evidence that tells us exactly the contrary. Millions and millions of human beings have been murdered and raped and pillaged in the name of somebody’s translucent Galactus.

Here’s another fact: the majority of people who have gone into schools and mowed down kids and teachers (atheist and otherwise) have been god-fearing church going mass murderers. We study those things too, you know.

Does that mean that the Religionists are likely to be mass murderers? Let me respond to this question with another question. I am an atheist. Do you think I am likely to rape your mother?

The good news is, I no longer have to pretend to myself and others that I think you people are basically good people. And if you think I’m discriminating against you for that, I do not care. Don’t even bother talking to my hand; take it up with your invisible friend. I’m too busy raping your mother.

God bless the bigots. You hypocritical, sanctimonious fucks.

Rock’n’blues Red Cat Mike Gold kicks ass each week on Weird Sounds Inside The Gold Mind streaming four times a week on www.getthepointradio.com and available at that same venue on demand because… he can. He also joins MDWers Martha Thomases and Michael Davis as a weekly columnist at www.comicmix.com.