MICHAEL DAVIS WORLD

You can't make this stuff up, so we don't!

Too Smart For My Own Good, by Michael Davis – Straight No Chaser #250

January 6, 2012 Michael Davis 5 Comments

If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million times, I know good people. What I haven’t said as much is I know smart people.

I know smart people.

I’m a smart guy. I mean I’m a real smart guy. I know that. You know how I know that? Because I’m clever enough to know just how smart I am.

Give it a sec…

As a smart guy who knows how smart I am it’s sometimes difficult for me to see just how stupid I can be sometimes.

Give that a sec…

Sometimes the smartest people can’t see what’s stupid because they are just too smart.

When I was in negotiations with Motown Records to run their film and television arm, Motown Animation & Filmworks, I received a call from my hotshot big time entertainment attorney at around 2am in the morning.

I was married at the time so a woman calling at 2 in the morning and asking to speak to me was already a pretty stupid move on my part even though I was an innocent bystander.

It’s important that you remember that my lawyer at the time was one of the most powerful attorneys in the entertainment business. She’s STILL is one of the most powerful attorneys in the entertainment business, she’s just not my lawyer anymore.

Now-before you think I’m without a hard core, kill your momma and take your kids representation, know this, I’m still represented by one of the most powerful attorneys in the entertainment business.

So there.

My then lawyer calls my house at 2am and my then wife hands me the phone with a ‘this better be a cousin telling you someone’s dead’ look on her face.

“Hello??” (I said hoping it was a cousin calling me to tell me someone was dead)

“Michael, its Susan (not her real name) we have a HUGE problem!”

“What’s up?” (WRONG! I should have told my wife; “It’s my lawyer” before I said, ANYTHING. See? STUPID!)

“I’m looking at the latest contract from Motown, it’s a deal breaker!”

“Why?”

“Because they have a Key man clause in this contract!”

“What’s that  mean?”

“It means if you designate someone as a key man and that person acts in a way that Motown disagrees with they can cancel the agreement and demand all monies they put towards the joint venture back!!”

“What?”

“It means that if you hire someone and appoint them key man, if that persons screws up for any reason Motown can kill the division and you are responsible for any monies Motown has put towards it”

“What?”

“You could owe Motown millions of dollars if your key man fucks up!”

THAT I got.

Now understand that my wife is staring at me while I have this conversation and she is NOT happy. It’s 2am, I’m talking to a woman she has no idea who that woman is and I’ve got this look of despair on my face.

On top of that all she heard from me was, Hello? Why? What’s that mean? What? What?

That sounds really fishy. Fishy like I got some girl pregnant or fishy like this is a woman I’m seeing at work (which would had been some feat because I worked from home) that kind of fishy.

FISHY is not a good sound when you are married to woman of color…she was Cuban.

What?

I know if she was on the phone with a man at 2 in the morning and all I heard was, Hello? Why? What’s that mean? What? What? I would have been THAT Negro and.

White people, ask somebody black.

So, I finally manage a very lame, “It’s my lawyer.”

“At 2 in the morning?”

Think fast…

“It’s only 11 at night there.”

“Oh, that’s right.”

So, now I’m back to the HUGE problem of my deal going south, my DREAM deal going south…or was it?

“So let me get this straight. If I name someone key man and they do something, anything that Motown does not like then Motown can kill the deal and I may owe them millions of dollars?”

“Yes. It’s a deal killer.”

“Then I won’t designate anyone a key man.”

Silence.

“Oh, OK. Did I wake you?”

“No, you woke my wife, she woke me.”

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow! Bye!”

My wife turns to me and says, “Your lawyer’s not that bright is she?”

She was wrong, my lawyer was not stupid she was freakin brilliant. But for some reason, she could not come up with my solution, which seemed to me painfully oblivious.

As you all know, I hated the GOP. I mean I hated them. Yes that’s hated as in past tense. I’ve realized over time that I have a LOT of conservative friends and I like and in some case love my conservative friends. So I can’t hate the entire GOP because I like and respect my friends who are conservatives.

My friends are good, decent, smart people.

But maybe just maybe they are so smart they can’t see how dumb most of the GOP candidates are. Hey, I’m a smart guy I do dumb things from time to time. Is it too much of a stretch to think that my friends don’t see that Herman Cain is a lying womanizer? Or perhaps they are just too smart to see that Ron Paul is racist?

Could it be they are so shrewd they don’t know that Rick Santorum is fucking crazy? He and his wife kept the body of their stillborn baby with them so they could sleep with it then introduce it to other family members?

OK-losing a child is a horrible thing. I am NOT making light of that and I never would no matter how I felt about that person…

But…

That is fucking CRAZY with a capital C.

Oh yeah, he also said, “America was a great country before 1965.”

WHAT THE FUCK?

A white man in FRONT of a cop punched my mother in the face in 1965. The cop threatened to arrest her. Why did she get punched in the face? She went to help the white guys little girl after she fell off a curb into the street.

Before and during 1965 my mother could still be lynched in certain parts of this country.

“America was a great country before 1965.” May not be a big deal to some white people but to black people (except Herman Cain) it’s fucking crazy.

“Germany was great before 1945.” You think my Jewish friends would like to hear that from a Presidential candidate?

So, maybe my Right Wing friends are simply too smart to see the forest because they are looking at the trees.

I’ve been there, we all have.

Shit, I was just thinking; America was a great country before trees.

 

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Comments

  1. Vinnie Bartilucci
    January 9, 2012 - 5:20 pm

    “I still see the 1965 comment as hurtful to African Americans”

    Well, that’s cause you’ve been brainwashed to do so…

    “I watched the speech it’s not clear and it’s RIPE for a sound bite.”

    Here’s the thing – it’s all but impossible to be so clear that an opponent can’t spin it to their advantage. We like being able to craft a little sound-bite, but they almost all require a bit of backup and explanation, and that explanation never gets reported.

    Today’s percieved offense is Romney’s line about “being able to fire people”. He was saying that he likes being able to leave a company that doesn’t do good by him. But everyone has fallen over each other to make it sound like he’s some sort of…firey-guy, or something.

  2. Russ Maheras
    January 9, 2012 - 6:06 pm

    Crap and double crap! I just read an article about Santorum’s sweater vests that stated, “But, the weekend before the New Hampshire primary Tuesday, the sleeveless sweater vest that former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum put on the map has become a hot Internet and retail item, with sellers from Amazon to Joseph Banks experiencing a rush in customer demand.”

    That means sweater vests are going to become a scarce commodity again — and probably more expensive!

    Fie upon ye, Rick Santorum!

  3. MOTU
    January 9, 2012 - 7:24 pm

    Vinnie wrote:

    “Well, that’s cause you’ve been brainwashed to do so…”

    Thanks, Herman Cain.

  4. The wizard
    February 2, 2012 - 3:11 am

    This post proves in fact what an ingrate you really are- everything you are stating about the Motown negotiation is untrue- clarence and Jheryl bent over backward to give you a better the average deal!!

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