Remember this Year’s Oscars?, by Arthur Tebbel – Pop Art #169 | @MDWorld

February 29, 2012 Arthur Tebbel 3 Comments

Dear Art,

What did you think of the Oscars?  Wasn’t I great?  Wasn’t focusing on nostalgia a great idea?

-Billy Crystal

 

Billy,

I didn’t come close to watching the whole thing.  I watched the NBA All-Star Game and then went for dinner but I saw the money categories and the smattering of technical categories from when the NBA was carting out their train wreck of a halftime show.  From what I gathered off of Twitter I missed a lot in terms of awful hosting.  You did blackface?  The Academy was OK with you doing blackface?  Holy shit dude, but I didn’t actually see it so I won’t talk about it.  Let’s talk about what I did see.

 

As I’m sure you know from your long and celebrated career, comedy is a lot about comfort.  If people are uncomfortable they won’t laugh.  That’s why a comic that’s bombing rarely is able to pull it out and have a good set.  The audience feels the awkwardness of the failing set and refuses to laugh in the future.  I never thought I would see that at the Oscars.  This is a room filled with people who should understand this concept.  That you couldn’t get courtesy laughs from that set is really shocking.  I hope you weren’t counting on Oscar-hosting income to sustain you in your golden years.  That might be drying up.

 

I really enjoyed The Artist so I guess I’m ok with how the awards part of the show worked out.  I only saw one other best picture nominee so I guess I’m pretty bad at assessing the worthiness of the other movies.  I think it’s pretty likely this will be one of those Oscars where we all look back in ten years and can scarcely remember what any of these movies are.  Except Moneyball, that will be remembered as “that movie that’s on TNT every damn weekend all summer and why won’t they stop?”  I read that The Artist is the second-lowest grossing Best Picture ever (adjusted for inflation) after 2009’s The Hurt Locker.  I had a joke half written about how this was three years in a row of lackluster box office movies winning (significant because the expanded field was supposed to eliminate that) but it turns out The King’s Speech made over $400 million and I’ve got nothing.

 

This might be four years of living in LA talking but I am so sick of Hollywood nostalgia.  That’s not exactly true, I’m sick of Hollywood people doing it.  If I’m watching the Oscars I’m clearly already sold on the idea of movies as a great old time.  I appreciate that you all love what you do; that you all feel the exhilaration of creative activity the same way every one else does.  I would rather the show be a half hour shorter.  Sorry, I know that overlong Oscar jokes are old hat, I should have left them to you Billy.