You know, I already have enough reasons to dislike you and now you have to go and do this.
What has Mittens done to gain my Irish ire this time?
I thought you’d never ask. Well I was typing up a wonderfully amusing column about Rick Santorum and his American jihad. It had everything, low brow bathroom humor, religious mocking, a Buddy Christ image from Dogma… Everything!
But no, Mitt couldn’t just keep his well quaffed head down and win in MI, and let people make fun of Santorum, he had to go and become a bigger news story than our favorite Christian extremists.
Here we at the end of another GOP primary election, and again Mitt Romney just can’t seem to close the deal. He continues to prove how unelectable he is from his:
“My wife Anne has a couple of Cadillacs” (as a side note, even my spell check thinks its wrong to pluralize Cadillac to “I enjoy NASCAR it mixes racing and sport. Some of my best friends are team owners!”
Some days I just think he needs to start showing up to rallies with a top hat and a monocle and scream “I’m rich bitches” and walk off. Every time Romney bot utters a word in mans tongue, it just seems creepy and forced.
“The trees are just the right height!” What the fuck does that mean? Are you a spy? Are you liberating France? Is that a code you use to find your contact to get the microfiche with the plans on them? Oh my God, Mitt Romney is an LMD from S.H.I.E.L.D. I have solved it.
In Mitt Romney’s home state, he barely squeaked out a victory. Newt “Moon Unit” Gingritch is set to take his home state of Georgia by over 15 points!
So why can’t this supposed front runner seem to close the deal? By now the talking heads are spinning the “win”. But there isn’t much to spin is there? Romney outspent Santorum 6 to one, in his home state, (or at least one of them) and he still only pulled out a victory by a meager 3% points.
Super Tuesday is going to hand Romney another slate of losses, Ohio and the bible belt states will go to Santorum, Newt will carry his home turf in GA. The only one for a possible large win is my home state of VA, considering he’s one of the only people on the ballot. Despite being a liberal, I will go in and vote for Ron Paul just ’cause.
Barring an August surprise and they wind up nominating Jeb Bush or Ronald Regan’s head in a jar, Mitt is their man.
I have to wonder what the GOP is thinking. The Romney Bot or His Holiness, The Cardinal Santorum. Those are the horses you’re backing? Seriously?
Enjoy your circus. Come November, there will be a lot of crow, instead of Turkey on the tables of many republican pundits…