I freely admit that I have issues. One of my many issues is I just don’t give a fuck if someone doesn’t understand why I may or may not do something. I’ve been on that particular bandwagon for about 20 years now, since I was 5, Jean.
I’ve had relationships with women who, for whatever reason, don’t like something about me or want to know more about a particular subject that I’m hesitant to talk about.
But is that an issue?
Don’t I have the right to deny anyone an explanation about how I choose to live my life or deny someone answers to things I don’t want to talk about?
I dated this woman once who seemed obsessed with knowing my feelings about my real father. She was extremely preoccupied with why I did not care who my real father was. We would spend countless hours dealing with my non-daddy issues.
“Aren’t you curious?”
“Don’t you want to know where you come from?”
“I’m from Queens.”
This shit would go on and on, until one day I had had enough and screamed “I could give a fuck who my real father was, my mother raised me, and as far as I’m concerned my real father can die like a dog in the street!”
Yes, that outburst came after intense lovemaking, and yes I was done, and yes all I wanted to do was take a little nap before I got up and out of dodge, so yes, I was a bit irritated.
But, no, she could not let it go, she wanted to ‘bond.’ She wanted to ‘talk.’
Ladies, here’s a bit of advice that no other man will give you: if you want to know something about your man, ask the question before he cums.
Hey — my column is not called Straight No Chaser just because I like the Monk song or the way Frank Sinatra ordered his drinks, so if you are offended by my truth or lack of tact, I could give a fuck.
Damn, but should I give a fuck?
Should I care that someone wants to get to know more about me than I’d care to share?
I’ve always been of the mindset that if someone does not want to talk about something, then I’m not going to press them on it. My mother has never broached the subject of who my real father was, and if she does not want to tell me about it, why the fuck should I insist?
I’ve seen those movies where the son or daughter makes it their mission in life to find their father, who was not in their life for whatever reason. If I manage to stay in my seat or not turn the channel, I’m still yelling “HE DID NOT WANT YOU! MOVE THE FUCK ON!”
Am I wrong?
I’m serious when I ask that.
Should I care to answer questions about my life that I’d rather not? Should I dive into places and open wounds so someone else can get answers to questions about my personal demons?
I’ve been thinking lately about my past behavior and my no-nonsense approach to my life.
I’d like to know if perhaps I’ve been a bit hard on people. Have I been wrong to be so cold-blooded?
I’d like to know what others think.
I can’t say whether or not I’ll give a fuck, but I’d like to know.