Synchronicity is as close to an outside spiritual force as I get. I don’t buy into the ridiculous übermacho cliché that there’s no such thing as coincidences; of course there are. For example, the very week the brand new James Bond movie opens, we are hit with a “scandal” about America’s spymaster having an extracurricular sex life.
Synchronicity. You gotta love it.
Everybody – in this case, the fame-stream media, the Republican opportunists and the judgmentally superior – acts upset that David Petraeus, the head of the CIA, screwed around on his wife. Holy crap, that never happens… except in the majority of marriages in America. And Europe. And Africa. And most of Asia. Some scientists believe Antarctic penguins mate for life, but we know that some female penguins are prostitutes who exchange their favors for nice rocks. There’s a reason why those dude penguins are kicking those stones towards the red light district.
The headline in The Daily Beast reads “Petraeus Fever Paralyzes Washington as the Media Pounce on Sex Scandal.” Putting aside the fact that The Daily Beast is part of the media and ignoring those members of the media who cheat on their spouses, they really made no attempt to explain to us why this is a scandal.
His paramour, we are told, was in possession of classified information. But if you dig a little deeper you’d discover the General’s inamorata, Paula Broadwell, had top secret level security clearance . Before you start rooting for another scandal, please be aware that Ms. Broadwell is a lieutenant colonel in the U.S. Army Reserve, a West Point graduate and a former military intelligence officer.
So where’s the scandal? Lots of sex and steam, but none of that is anybody else’s business. I’m amazed Fox News hasn’t hired Monica Lewinsky as a special commentator. And, please, don’t start babbling about dishonoring the uniform. Egregious sexual activity has been part and parcel of military service since our ancestors started heaving rocks at each other. If you want a sex scandal and you want to be taken seriously, you’ve got to start with all the raping going on in our now sexually integrated armed forces.
As it turns out, the four-star general had made a lot of enemies during his climb to the top. I asked a few friends of mine who are or were heavily involved in military affairs as well as the spy racket (yes, lunatic radicals can have friends in the CIA and I’ve got three) and I discovered David Petraeus has been one of the most hated military leaders of this century. Evidently, he’s such an arrogant megalomaniac that his attitude would make Julius Caesar say “Woof, dude, lighten up!” So, perhaps, all this starts with the chickens coming home to roost.
This isn’t about sex. It’s about a bunch of spoiled monkeys desperate to throw their feces at the Obama Administration after their pathetic and conclusive losses in the election that immediately predated the story.
Or, in John McCain’s case, his pathetic and conclusive losses for the past four years and one week.
Mike Gold performs the weekly two-hour Weird Sounds Inside The Gold Mind ass-kicking rock, blues and blather radio show on The Point, www.getthepointradio.com , every Sunday at 7:00 PM Eastern, rebroadcast three times during the week (check the website above for times) and available On Demand at the same place. That same venue offers us the weekly Great American Popcast, co-hosted with Mike Raub. Gold also joins Martha Thomases and Michael Davis as a weekly columnist at www.comicmix.com where he pontificates on matters of four-color.