You’ve got to hand it to Ann Coulter. When we are in our deepest shock following the revelation of another repulsive act of massive, mindless horror, Ann pops out of her box to entertain us.
Of course, I’m referring to Adam Lanza’s shooting spree of last Friday, where – and the story is still unfolding – he slaughtered 20 young children, mostly kindergarteners, as well as at least a half dozen adults. He also slaughtered his mother, who lived near the Newtown, Connecticut school. Reports of deaths at his brother’s residence in Hoboken, New Jersey proved to be untrue.
In case you thought you had mommy-issues, Adam borrowed his mother’s car in order to kill her – with her own guns. He also borrowed his brother Ryan’s I.D. This is why early reports identified the shooter as Ryan Lanza; in any huge story our 24-hour news media (broadcast and Internet alike) rush to print anything they can lay their hands on and then the rest of the day make their corrections sound like breaking news.
We expect the usual knee-jerk responses: those on the left calling for stricter gun control, those on the right singing the “don’t blame the tool” song. Some say nobody should be allowed guns, others say this wouldn’t happen if everybody had guns. Well, both sides are right. And if pigs could fly we wouldn’t have to fertilize.
But Ann… wow, she ups the crazy to 12. She is the Mount Everest of crazy.
Coulter says all this wouldn’t happen if we repealed our concealed-carry laws. “Only one policy has ever been shown to deter mass murder: concealed-carry laws,” she Tweeted, along with a link to a piece she wrote in 2007 following the Virginia Tech, record-holding shootings.
Amusingly, half of the states in this nation do indeed issue concealed-carry permits… including Connecticut.
You know, Connecticut. Where Ann Coulter was raised, and from where she threatened to run for Congress. And where 27 people were shot to death.
I don’t know how many of those five-year olds actually applied for concealed-carry permits, but Ann believes they might be alive today if only they would whip it out and fire back.
There’s all kinds of crazy. There’s Michael Moore crazy, where he conveniently skims over elements that might contradict his point. There’s Todd Akin and his legitimate rape can’t make you pregnant crazy. There are the morally color-blind Ayn Rand crazies. And then there’s Ann Coulter. What she lacks in grace she makes up with her impeccable timing.
Given the fact that I live a half-hour from Newtown, it was a bit scary to watch this story evolve. But Ann used to live eight miles from me, and believe me, that was a lot more scary.
Mike Gold performs the weekly two-hour Weird Sounds Inside The Gold Mind ass-kicking rock, blues and blather radio show on The Point, www.getthepointradio.com , every Sunday at 7:00 PM Eastern, rebroadcast three times during the week – check the website above for times. Gold also joins Martha Thomases and Michael Davis as a weekly columnist at www.comicmix.com where he pontificates on matters of four-color.