It’s been 10 months since my last column, in that time our Socialist/Kenyan/Muslim/Zurg Enforcer President won an overwhelming second term giving the GOP a right kick to the breadbasket. The Pope quits after eight years of being Pontiff, and I shall dissuade the rumors of me taking over for him, I really don’t have the hips to pull off that dress…
But the one thing among everything else that has caused much of my silence is the loss of my baby brother. He took his own life last year, which caused me to basically lose my mind and shut myself away from everything.
He left us, amidst my mother dealing with her ailments, she suffered a minor heart attack the night he left. I assumed he went out for a smoke, my wife and I stayed behind to take care of my mother who recovered, but we never saw my brother again.
We searched the streets for four days before the police arrived asking me to identify a John Doe they found in the river. It was my baby brother, Ryan Donovan, dead at 25 years old.
It wasn’t until after we received the M.E. report we realized he was in the final stages of Multiple Sclerosis, his hands would shake, and he was clumsy but we wrote it off as nerves and the bad vision we all inherited.
We were told he would have probably been wheelchair bound in a year, and it was a wonder he was out walking when he was. It made me think of how selfish and horrendous our political system is, all these fights over ’Obamacare’ because it would cut into the profits of the for profit medical industry, you have people at home suffering, fearing a doctor’s care instead of welcoming it because of the high costs attached, and you have people dying of diseases they didn’t even know they had until it was too late.
I don’t write this to be a ’bummer’ of a first column back, but as a window into the America we live in, the America that gets ignored far too much in the grand scheme of things. An America that isn’t served by the House denying the Violence Against Women Act, or trying to limit the amount of places we can get help when we’re out of options.
My wife suffered abuse from the day she was born until she met me, every time John Boehner comes on TV and talks about how he’s worried about the rights of some violent sociopath over the health of an innocent woman she breaks into tears, wondering how anyone could hate a group so much that they’d do everything in their power to marginalize it.
When we lost our home in Dec, it was almost too much… But we soldiered on because that’s what Americans do, we get up and try to make the next day better and the day after that. We’re not quitters. So I got drunk and begged Michael in his infinite wisdom for another chance to share my world with you here on MDW, and being a benevolent Master of the Universe he agreed.
I’ve decided that this year will be my year. Despite all the bad that has happened I will create the life I want for myself. I will nab that Marvel/DC gig, I will have one of the best damn columns on the face of the internets, and I will take great pleasure of mocking the GOP as they ride the fail whale into obscurity.
Don’t worry. Next week I’ll be way funnier. I promise. After all, Michael has his finger hovering over the deathray.