Guy Walks Into A Bar…by Michael Davis – Straight No Chaser #306 | @MDWorld
Guy walks into a bar to see an old friend he has not seen in 5 years. The old friend is sitting with a girlfriend of hers. Guy tries to make nice, and even buys girlfriend a drink.
Girlfriend doesn’t say thanks; girlfriend doesn’t like guy (no idea why), girlfriend is double-fisting Long Island Ice Teas like they were Lipton Ice Tea.
After a few hours, girlfriend is shit-faced and proceeds to pick an argument with the guy. Guy takes it for as long as he can, then guy (who is wicked fast, smart, and not the person you want to verbally joust with) finally unleashes a wicked fast, smart, and STINGING retort.
Girlfriend LEAPS off her bar stool, runs over to where guy is standing,and punches guy– PUNCHES GUY– in the chest.
Hard.
Guy does NOT want to hit girlfriend back, so guy reaches into his coat pocket takes out a TOY gun and WAVES it in the air so girlfriend is scared shitless.
Girlfriend is scared shitless and stops punching guy.
Guy leaves.
Police show up. Police call guy and ask guy to come and give his side of the story.
Guy goes (with lawyer), police hear his side of the story. Police arrest guy, charge him with a crime. Police recover TOY gun from guy’s house.
Guy posts HUGE bail.
Guy has been to court 3 times. Each time there is a different D.A. who is not familiar with the case. The second time guy went to court, THAT D.A. wanted to see the video of the incident, which by the way backs up EVERYTHING guy says.
The 3rd court date, the latest D.A. has not seen the tape, but wants to take guy to trial without reviewing the tape her office possesses, which backs up everything guy says.
Guy is spending THOUSANDS in legal fees.
Guy had a toy gun, guy has a video tape backing his story, guy was being HIT IN THE CHEST, and instead of HITTING BACK he wanted to scare girlfriend.
She wasn’t arrested for hitting guy.
Guy is the one scared now.
Funny eh?
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March 15th, 2013 at 2:47 pm
FUNNY, SOUNDS LIKE A MUSICAL I ONCE DID CALLED, “THE LAST FIVE YEARS!:)”
OH BUT, THAT WAS A MARRIAGE, GOING BACK IN TIME FIVE YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAH
OR EVEN FUNNIER REMEMEBR THIS!
“5,5,5,I SAW IT IN A DREAM”- SPIKE LEE’S “X” MOVIE:)
March 15th, 2013 at 7:42 pm
Let me guess, guy was in LA, were the DA’s office has been staffed by idiots for the last twenty years?
March 15th, 2013 at 9:00 pm
My response is…’With old friends like that…it ‘seems’ like that man isn’t lacking for enemies’
Old friend couldn’t chill her girlfriend out way before it got to the point of no return? And surely she should be able speak to every facet of the event to the authorities, no?
And just how did the ‘man’ get the man’s digits?
TANJ
March 16th, 2013 at 10:10 am
Doug,
Yep.
March 16th, 2013 at 10:24 am
Reg,
The guy’s friend made more than one attempt to cool girlfriend out. There is only so much anyone can do when dealing with someone who is, as we say in the hood, tore the fuck up.
Trying to reason with someone that impaired by drink is useless. Just like apologizing to a black woman after pulling her weave out by mistake.
Useless.
March 16th, 2013 at 11:45 am
Guy should file for a change of venue, to some place that’s actually on Earth.