Proud to be an American, by Martha Thomases – Brilliant Disguise | @MDWorld

July 3, 2015 Victor El-Khouri 3 Comments

Last Friday, when the Supreme Court affirmed the right for all citizens to marry, my first reaction was to sigh that my own spouse wasn’t here to see it happen.  Later, I watched President Obama give the eulogy for Reverend Pickney, I was profoundly moved.  When I recovered from my self-absorption, I started to sing this song by Lee Greenwood:

“And I’m proud to be an American where at least I know I’m free.

And I won’t forget the men who died, who gave that right to me.”

It’s a song I find myself singing a lot.  I like the build-up, when I can delude myself into thinking I can carry a tune.  Usually, I find the lyrics too jingoistic to actually speak, but, last Friday, they felt especially apt.

Too often, we think that the only people who sacrifice their lives for our country are those who fight in wars.  Last Friday, instead, I found myself thinking of Martin Luther King Jr., Medgar Evers, James Earl Chaney, Andrew Goodman, Michael Henry Schwermer and the others named on this page.  I thought about Harvey Milk and Matthew Shepard, Emma Goldman and Joe Hill.  And these guys.

In my opinion, those are among the people who made the most difference in earning our freedom, by standing up against oppression in their own country.

Then, on Sunday, The New York Times ran this annoying piece, in which the writer posited that when queer people get more rights, they will lose their special secret society.  To quote:

“‘There is something wonderful about being part of an oppressed community,’ Mr. Marcus said.”

Maybe that’s true if you can pass, if you are lucky enough to be white and middle-class and if you’ve managed to get through high school without being beaten to death or committing suicide.

Fortunately, the Mr. Marcus quoted above soon added, “But he warned against too much nostalgia. The most vocal gay rights activists may have celebrated being outsiders, but the vast majority of gay people just wanted ‘what everyone else had,’ he said — the ability to fall in love, have families, pursue their careers and ‘just live their lives.’”

Most of the people I saw interviewed on the steps of the Supreme Court, while thrilled that their rights were affirmed, pointed out that the struggle wasn’t over.  LGBTQ people could still be fired for being themselves.  They could still be evicted from their homes.

And every one of them mentioned the terrorist attack on the church in Charleston.

Because it’s all the same struggle.  We’re all in this fight.

Over the weekend, I was talking to a friend, who said the next stage of this discussion will be about those of us who live in the North, who think we are somehow more evolved about racism, sexism and homophobia than those in Charleston and other parts of the South.  We’re not.  We might not fly the Stars and Bars, but we can still be complete and utter assholes about our privilege.  In some ways, we can be more damaging because our sense of superiority blinds us to our own bigotry.

Or because we think if we belong to one oppressed group, those are the only people who should concern us.

I remember, as a child, learning about the persecution of the Jews over the millennia.  I’ll admit it made me feel special.  Later, when I discovered feminism, I learned about the oppression of women, and that made me feel special, too.  Eventually, however, I got over myself (or at least, over those parts of myself) and learned that other people were being discriminated against for different reasons than I was, and that their struggles were my struggles.

Anonymous said, “No one is free when anyone is oppressed.”  This week, we were all a little bit more free.

Media Goddess Martha Thomases wishes you all fireworks, inside and out.