The Rise Of The Stupid by Michael Davis: Straight No Chaser #92

November 14, 2008 Michael Davis 11 Comments

Straight No Chaser 92
The Rise Of The Stupid

When I was a kid (oh yeah it’s one of those) in the fourth grade I could read as well as I could fly. No, I could not fly as evident by my almost dying when I attempted to jump off the roof of my house with an umbrella to glide me down. I was around 6 years old then and if my mom had not walked by at just that moment, I would have been dead or worst…I may have missed Christmas. Man, I loved Christmas…and Mr. Magoo.

As I was saying I was a horrible reader but that fateful summer, (let’s see I was in the fourth grade so that must have been the summer of 19** yeah that’s about right) I discovered comics. The first time I read a comic (it was The Avengers!) I looked at the pictures and closed the book. That took no time so I decided to try and read the book. I decided this because I was sitting outside my apartment having locked myself out. While I was waiting for my mom or sister to get home and I was bored out of my mind.

Trying to read the book was very hard, but I was determined to get through this. Without my classmates to entertain (yeah I was the class clown) I started to feel very stupid and frustrated. At one point I remember crying a bit because I just wanted to understand what I was reading.
I just wanted to understand.

When my mom got home she was pleasantly surprised that instead of begging for my dinner I hit her with a barrage of questions such as “What’s this word mean? How do you pronounce this word?”  My mom did the single greatest thing she could have done at that moment in my life. After three or four questions she handed me a dictionary sat me down, went though a few words with me then told me whatever other words I did not know to “Look them up.”  At that moment I thought she was trying to get rid of me. She was working two jobs and going to school so free time was a luxury to say the least. I did not realize until much later on that she was schooling me even then. She would often ask me to read something to her or she would grab what comic book I was reading and inquire about the story line. I remember one time when she and I had a long talk about Giant Man. Yeah my mom wanted to know why Giant Man’s clothes did not rip when he grew. She also wanted to know what kind of freaky relationship he had with The Wasp.

She wanted to know why he was not called ‘Tall Man’ or ‘Big Man.’ I loved that talk. I once showed her a Fantastic Four comic book and she asked how the Human Touch eats dinner. Her favorite heroes were Mr. Fantastic who she called ‘Stretcho’ and the Thing who she called ‘Lumpo.’ She called The Invisible girl simply “Ho.” Took me a few years to get that one…

My reading level jumped from a second grade level to a ninth grade level that summer. I was one badass reader. My mother did what any mother would do she used any means at her disposal to get me to read.

The other day I got a text from a writer friend of mine. She’s a marvelous writer who’s work I like a lot. She told me that she had a great idea for the school system. Her idea? Comics in the classroom! I agree, it is a great idea. The idea is so great that 10 years ago I did that. I created a comic book reading program called The Action Files for Simon & Schuster. The program was so successful it is now at Pearson Learning. This article is not about that (but I will come back to that because they still owe me a GRIP of money) no I’m not going to talk about how little old me was able to get comics in the school system taught as a curriculum a feat that helped get a school auditorium named after me as well as proclamations from a few cities. Nah, I’m not going to talk about that. That would surly make it look like I was bragging, but as Yogi Berra once said; “It’s not bragging if you can do it.”

Anyway my writer friend who is also a teacher said she had never heard of the program. I told her that she had not heard of The Action Files because the books were almost universally hated in the inner cites where she works. I can’t be sure if that is still the case because I have no connection with the program now, but 10 years ago when we did focus group testing Black educators overwhelmingly said ‘no’ to comics in the classrooms.

Why? Because these ‘educators’ are idiots.

Malcolm X had it right when he said “By any means necessary.” If the comics are not filled with sex, drugs and rock and roll, but are filled with good stories that present a positive image AND had people who look like the students who are reading them, why in the Hell would anyone object to that?

Why would anyone object to helping young people read with materials that they WANT TO READ?

So this begs the question; is they stupid? That would be a HELL YEAH.

Stupid and idiots. They are stupid idiots whose silly prejudices against ‘funny books’ prevent them from seeing what good may come from opening their eyes. There is only one thing I hate more than stupidity and that’s racists. So when you put the two together you get a stupid racist.

Case in point, there is a paper called The Murfreesboro Post out of Tennessee and in the Nov. 9, 2008 on line edition a writer named Stephen Lewis wrote a racist rant about Obama. He said that Obama would be singing his own version of the theme song to “The Jeffersons.  Don’t take my word for it check it out on line.

Mr. Lewis on the off chance you get to read this I offer you the following song. It’s sung to the theme song of ‘Good Times.’ I respect your right to share your views. Mr. Lewis and I hope you respect mine. Unlike you I will present a true upbeat real life view of where I hope our dialog goes. So I’m not talking about anyone in particular in my song. So enjoy sir. I hope you find this positive real life scenario enlightening.

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Thank you, I’m here all week, next week I’ll be in Tennessee on my Where the white girls at? -Tour.