Ready for a Latino President by Q. Reyes: Artistic Warfare #1

December 14, 2008 Q. Reyes 7 Comments

Your browser may not support display of this image. We Latinos are underestimated and overestimated simultaneously.  How is this possible?  We’ve become one of the largest consumer groups in the Country, and still, there are people out there trying to deport us.  Well some of us.  I’m Puerto Rican, so that deportation doesn’t really apply to me, but you catch my drift.

Random people always ask me, “Hey, is Puerto Rico the capital of Mexico?”  I, of course, randomly answer, “Yes.  Yes, it is” – because that’s the type of ignorance that will keep us stealthily becoming stronger until the right time to strike comes – the time is when we have one of “ours” in the White House, and then, we get to decide who gets deported.

I know what you’re thinking… “I should probably clear my browser history before my wife or husband gets home,” but that can wait.  I need you to pay attention and support our cause, because Latinos voted for Obama overwhelmingly, and all that we ask is that we get that support back when it’s our turn.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on your chromosome makeup, the Country is more ready to have a Latino MAN as President, than a White WOMAN.  I know what you’re thinking: “I’m hungry and I don’t feel like cooking or going out to eat,” but we need to stay focused.  I say the previous sexist statement implying that Sarah Palin is the woman running against the Latino man.

Then, we get to the question of “who is qualified enough to be a Latino presidential candidate?”  At this point no one is, but look at the Obama story… he was nowhere to be found eight years ago, and here he is now, President Elect.

Before Obama came on the scene, Black people with the best chances to becoming president were Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Marion Barry, and maybe, just maybe, OJ Simpson.  Obama changed the game for the better, thank, God.

So, lets go beyond the candidates and look into the most important thing: Policy.  What influences will a Latino President have on the Country’s culture?  The answer is the same as any other American President.

If a Latino President gets to the White House its not like he’s going to have two-hundred people living in it like the stereo-type suggests.  He will not ride around in low-rider limos with hydraulics and carry a switchblade in his back pocket.  That’s not going to happen.  Did Obama appoint Snoop Dogg as Secretary of State like Rush Limbaugh probably thought he would?  No.  That’s not the way it works.

The moral of it all is that we Latinos are underrepresented – everywhere!  There are more Gay characters on television than Latino characters.  There’s nothing wrong with Gay characters, but what the hell is wrong with Latino characters?  Yeah, we got that show Ugly Betty.  So? We’re supposed to be happy with that and not complain?

Maybe we don’t have it as bad as Asian people, who only have Lucy Lu, Lisa Ling, and the Korean chick from Grey’s Anatomy; and, we are certainly better off than Middle Easterners who only have the one dude from “Lost”, but my point is having a Latino President will not illegally alienate, no pun intended, really, the rest of the Country.  On the contrary, it will unite all of us more.  Plus we have better food, are better dancers, and certainly, better lovers – ask anyone who has experienced a Latin Lover.  We have their vote for sure.

—
Q. Reyes is a Puerto Rican native, and attended Bryman College where he received degrees in Law and Massage therapy in only three weeks.  Q. enjoys long walks on the beach, horseback riding, and the occasional self-touching experience.  Q. is also a creator of the Ceasar and Chuy program on LATV.