Art & Chris stimulate the Republican Party by Arthur Tebbel & Chris Toia – Pop Art… and Chris #12
February 17, 2009 Arthur Tebbel & Chris Toia 26 Comments
Dear Art & Chris,
While President Obama and his new friends were out having a ball, the Republican Party, the party of ideas, were brainstorming some doozies. I think everyone can agree that the Grand Old Party has gone on quite a win streak these past few news cycles. The American people know that the Republican party won’t vote for a package that’ll stimulate the economy if it’ll mean your kids will have to stimulate John’s packages in the future. We’ve effectively shifted the conversation from “how much America needs this stimulus package?” to “why the democrats aren’t practicing bipartisanship?” How can we keep this momentum going?
-Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) Minority Leader
Mitch,
I have bad news. You haven’t developed a new tactic, this is the same tired crap that Karl Rove has been trotting out for the past eight years. If you guys can win an argument you make sure it looks like everyone’s wrong. Worse news yet, this childish tactic lost you guys a presidential election and at least six senate seats. If you guys keep up this momentum pretty soon we’re going to be taking letters from the revived Whig party. Which would be a relief, at least those guys were in favor of giving money to science.
But hey, Art and Chris aren’t here to point out the flaws in your retarded question, Art and Chris are here to answer your retarded questions no matter how stupid the retard asking the question is. If you guys really want to keep the particular brand of momentum you guys have going here’s an idea for a bill. Propose a bill that will immediately change the status of illegal immigrants to slaves. All immigrants could be auctioned off to restaurants and bodegas throughout the states. Think of the potential tax revenue! Plus you could finally break the back of labor unions once and for all.
Naturally the democrats might talk some human rights nonsense, but if the democrats hate slavery so much why didn’t they end it the first time. After the democrats vote down your slavery bill accuse them of gridlock and exclusionary practices. You might worry that this will make it difficult for a Republican to campaign in the South West. However, this is your chance to progress the culture war argument. Backwards democrats don’t appreciate traditional American values, like slavery. Besides, the same democrats that are willing to enslave your kids future aren’t willing to enslave illegal immigrants. The democratic party loves illegal immigrants and hates your kids. Its the perfect wedge issue.
We’re sure you guys have just spent the entire weekend high fiving each other at how you trimmed frivolous spending like school construction out of the stimulus bill but I think you might have missed an important leak on your end. Pennsylvania senator Arlen Specter was quoted saying that more Republicans supported the bill but didn’t vote for it out of fear of facing a primary opponent. So basically one of your most senior members said that many of you agree with the legislation but voted against it to keep their grip on power. I’m glad you think you can rebrand yourselves as a party of ideas but I’m not sure you should be so cavalier with the fact that most of those ideas are about how scared your members are of the far right wing of your party.
I’m not saying you can’t still turn this around. Sure you aren’t in great shape because now that all these votes were on strict party lines the inevitable (and it is inevitable, ask an economist) recovery will be credited to President Obama. The important thing to learn is that bipartisanship isn’t just a fancy word for doing what you want. When the president moves on to whatever is next on his agenda be there with actual constructive thoughts. Don’t like health care reform? Too bad! It’s going to start to happen and you guys can either do some actual negotiation, perhaps to construct a system like the British where private insurance companies still play a role while providing a public safety net, or scream socialist on the news channels for the next 2 years until the midterms render you irrelevant. There are actual nuanced policy debates that can happen here if you guys are willing to come to the table. Don’t just take the 15 second sound bite approach, it could save your party.
Martha Thomases
February 17, 2009 - 6:58 am
Shhhh! They’ll hear you!
Christopher Toia
February 17, 2009 - 10:35 am
They’ll hear us… but they won’t listen. Just ask their constituents.
pennie
February 18, 2009 - 9:38 am
Bribes and guns.
Get all the elephant party fat cats to kick in big bucks to a slush fund. Offer each voter $250 to register and vote Republican in the 2010 mid-term elections. That should stimulate those infamous uncommitted voters.
Park a table outside supermarkets and give away buckets of cash.
Free guns to anyone promising to maim non-believers or those who promote abortion, civil rights, and homosexuality.
Whup ass on all those un-Americans among us. Drive the women back into the kitchens and beds. Restore America!
Up with Ubermann! Down with Olbermann and that dyke witch Maddow!
Enough talking.
Vinnie Bartilucci
February 18, 2009 - 3:04 pm
I’ve long been of the opinion that if the USA instituted a “second class citizen” designation, where your needs would be fully covered by the government in exchange for certain limitations on your rights and freedoms, a scary number of people would sign up.
As I’ve said before, both parties are too interested in “winning” to actually get anything done. Any admission that the other side did something right is a calamitous blow to your side’s score. And too often lately the strategy has been showing how what the other guy has done is wrong, as opposed to coming up with something that’s right.
The stimulus bill (law, now) is 1,100 and change pages long. Mark my words – NO SINGLE PERSON knows everything that’s in it, up to and including the President. Just like the Patriot act, it was drafted in a flash of activity by a large group of people, and no time was given to review it, abstract it, or or to make any substantive amendments to it. Any hesitation by ANYONE about it, in any part, was played as being anti-American. This had to be signed immediately, without hesitation, because it would Fix Things. Both acts were used (or so claim The Other Side) as a mule to carry through a large number of legislations and expansions of the Government’s power that would never get passed on their own. And we will likely hear people from both parties bemoan the fact the way it’s working for years to come, all along pleading innocence on their support of it.
Don’t get me wrong – I am fully confident there’s plenty in the act that will help, or at least that is intended to help, just I’ve said about the Patriot Act. But the parallels between the two are staggering.
“Those of us who manage the public’s dollars will be held to account — to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day ” – what time was the act released for review?
Where is the clear and non-legalese explanation of what the act will do? I got an article in my local paper at to how the act would “help” the Lehigh Valley (ie, how much money we’d get and where it would go) but I’ve yet to see a clearly defined breakdown. How about a diagram or chart, mending my broken heart?
Like Bush, President Obama has gotten a major piece of legislation passed that will Help. And like Bush, no one is quite sure HOW.
pennie
February 18, 2009 - 3:29 pm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Recovery_and_Reinvestment_Act_of_2009
# 3 Provisions of the final bill
* 3.1 Department of Defense facilities
* 3.2 Education
* 3.3 Energy
* 3.4 Environmental cleanup
* 3.5 Government technology improvements
* 3.6 Healthcare
* 3.7 Housing
* 3.8 Hunger assistance
* 3.9 Job assistance
* 3.10 Other infrastructure projects
* 3.11 Other job programs
* 3.12 Other worker assistance programs
* 3.13 Scientific research
* 3.14 Telecommunications and Digital TV
* 3.15 Transportation projects
* 3.16 Veterans Affairs facilities
Martha Thomases
February 18, 2009 - 6:55 pm
@Vinnie — most Congressmen and women have staffs numbering more than a few people. They can assign each staff-person to read 20 or 30 pages of the bill (at a minimum), and then get a report.
They can do this for all kinds of bills, not just the Stimulus Plan. And, in fact, that’s what they do.
To suggest otherwise is to fall for the Republican Talking Point.
Better Dead Than Red
February 18, 2009 - 10:46 pm
@ Vinnie… Thank You! You see things for the way they are. Similar to religion… They aren’t bad or evil, it’s their doctrines that are. Same holds true for the US Government. Our Constitution is not bad, it’s actually, a pretty perfect document in written word, theory, and intention… It’s the execution performed by the people “working” in our government, and supposedly for us.
So many people fail to recognize and acknowledge that OUR GOVERNMENT WORKS FOR US and is not there to be our nanny, teacher, boss, or our peer. THEY WORK FOR US!!!! The problem is, that they haven’t worked for us, for a very long time. It’s time to reclaim our country people! It’s already begun in New Hampshire (thankfully) and will hopefully inspire the other 49.
@ Martha who wrote, “To suggest otherwise is to fall for the Republican Talking Point.”
My response would be “To suggest otherwise is to fall for the Democrat Talking Point.”
Quid Pro Quo … If you, Pennie, and the like can’t get over your agendas, party lines, talking points, and biased media outlets, no one will come to the table and nothing will ever be resolved and we will lose even more of our country than we already have.
By the way, and for the record (before any aspersions are cast my way), this holds true for the Republicans as well.
BOTH PARTIES ARE WRONG and each one is worried about their next election, their lobbyist, and themselves, rather than we the people who put them in their office in the first place. Just take a look at the 27th Amendment and it’s history (here’s a good link http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2254/whats-up-with-the-27th-amendment-to-the-u-s-constitution). Now read about how our government is prohibiting the salaries of executives involved in the bailout plan (here is a pretty good and concise link http://topics.nytimes.com/top/reference/timestopics/subjects/e/executive_pay/index.html?inline=nyt-classifier). Both our government and these companies have had to “borrow” money in order to “fix” their respective deficits. Feel free to comment on the hypocrisy.
We all need to get over ourselves and our platforms in order to call Bullshit when warranted, regardless of party affiliation.
“Live Free, Or Die”
pennie
February 19, 2009 - 6:58 am
@Better Dead Than Red: you wrote, “Quid Pro Quo … If you, Pennie, and the like can’t get over your agendas, party lines, talking points, and biased media outlets, no one will come to the table and nothing will ever be resolved and we will lose even more of our country than we already have.”
What is my “like?”
Do you think I meet with this imaginary group to create agendas, party lines, talking points while we scrutinize biased media outlets to obtain information to adjust our thinking?
You preach dialogue while finger pointing and blaming.
Not a great strategy if one hopes to include others with a possibly divergent point-of-view.
This “your kind” approach is not inclusive–it isolates.
I don’t pretend to speak for others. As Martha might attest, my personal situation is simply not all that common. I don’t presume others will share my perspective. On the other hand, since I was young, I have dedicated my life to the thought that all human beings are equal and deserve the same rights without qualification.
THAT–plain and simple– is my agenda..
Philosophically, I don’t believe violence furthers understanding and acceptance. Personal heroes Dr. King and M.Gandhi have much to teach us.
My sarcastic post above was an extremely obvious example of the opposite–a point of view that some might actually find appealing. That scares me.
Party lines, racial divisions, gender inequality, sexual discrimination–discrimination is a big picture thing. When people understand that this “them” thing keeps us apart; when people can begin to celebrate differences instead of fearing, and start to see we are all on the same bus–and make room for each other–then things will be a whole lot better. We got us into this mess. We need to help each other fix it. We have met the enemy. It is us.
Vinnie Bartilucci
February 19, 2009 - 7:46 am
“most Congressmen and women have staffs numbering more than a few people. They can assign each staff-person to read 20 or 30 pages of the bill (at a minimum), and then get a report.”
Very true. How many did? How many had time? I’ve seen WAY too many congressmembers throw their hands up and say they “didn’t have time” to read the Patriot Act, but they thought it was too important a bill to delay by actually reading every page.
A bill this massive, a bill this expensive, a bill this far reaching needs to be read and understood before it’s voted on. In point of fact, it’s almost the reposnsibility of the writers of to make SURE it’s understood. Write an abstract, make an excel spreadsheet with all the numbers, SOMETHING to simplify as much as possible. I grasp that laws must be written explicitly with a lot of extra legal phrases and punctuation. But it’s nearly impossible to digest that mound of paper in the time allotted before people were criticized for “trying to delay” the Act. Which is exactly what happened seven-odd years ago.
Pennie’s link to the wiki page was very helpful, and I appreciate it. But does no one else find it curious that Wikipedia writers had to be the ones to go through the bill? Is there a government-produced abstract for the Act? If there isn’t, I find that very disappointing.
A lot of people think they’re getting a check out of this. Not unless you’re a CEO of a big company you’re not. Those “how to get a free grant” advertisements have overnight turned into “How much will you be getting from the stimulus bill? Click and find out!” ads. that alone shows how much confusion there is about what it will do.
Better Dead Than Red
February 19, 2009 - 8:24 am
Pennie wrote, “My sarcastic post above was an extremely obvious example of the opposite–a point of view that some might actually find appealing. That scares me.”
My bad Pennie, I took what you wrote as a slightly exaggerated post based on your beliefs and hatred toward any specific party (which is plentiful across the web), and pardoning of the other (i.e. the one you affiliate yourself with), when there is plenty of blame to go around on both ends instead of one just being wrong and the other correct in all things. So, for that I apologize.
Now, as for Martha’s comment that Vinnie touched on “most Congressmen and women have staffs numbering more than a few people. They can assign each staff-person to read 20 or 30 pages of the bill (at a minimum), and then get a report”
We as the populous, put the selected senators and congressmen in office, not their “staff”. Who’s to say that the “staff” didn’t intentionally mislead, or misunderstand what was written, and report it accordingly. The onus falls squarely on the elected official. If they can’t do the job (i.e. read proposals) then they shouldn’t be in the office. If given proper time to digest the pieces of legislation, I am sure much of it would have been re-written or thrown out as pork stuffing, and that exchange/debate should be available for the public to see and hear.
I know from what I read of this particular bill (since I couldn’t get a copy of the final draft, pre-vote), that I disagree with much of it, and I exercised my right as a citizen and called my representative telling them to vote “no” just like so many other people. But, again, did they listen to us?…. Obviously not. Hence the reason for my diatribe above.
M.O.T.U
February 19, 2009 - 8:27 am
I’m a card carrying member of the NRA. Having 2 people in my family murdered underscores the statement “bad things happen to good people’ so HELL Yes I am a card carrying member but hell no I’m not going to any meeting.
I joined the NRA because I believe in the right to bare arms and believe it’s my right to blow any motherfucker away who seeks to do me or my family harm. The NRA has some great programs and provides some great services but I’m not attending any meetings because I’m just not with their total agenda.
That said, I RESPECT their right to have said agenda. Hell-I respect and even welcome Better Dead Than Red to this forum even if I don’t agree with anything (well most anything) he says.
My BIGGEST problem with the GOP (and there are a LOT more) is that they make it clear that if you are not with them you are against them. As a example-who the fuck uses the words “real Americans’ in an election? Just how crazy is that?
Am I not a real American because I belong to an organization but don’t follow its agenda blindly? Shit-I’m a Knick fan but I will be the first person to tell you THEY SUCK. The GOP would have you fall in line behind the party regardless of how asinine the issue or point. The GOP wants blind obedience and I’m nobody’s bitch.
I remember when they went after Clinton-yeah that worked. The country was in great shape and the American people rolled up that ‘contract with America’ moral majority bullshit and slid it firmly up the ass of the GOP with a resounding ” Leave Bill alone.”
The GOP followed the Bush doctrine like puppies UNTIL they threw him under the bus this last election. Bush and his shot gun toteing VP led the country down a path of stupidty starting years ago. The GOP followed blindly until they realized YEARS later they were driving the wrong way on the freeway.
If I drive the wrong way,I’m getting off the next exit and NOBODY will have to tell me it’s time to get off. I can figure that out myself.
pennie
February 19, 2009 - 8:29 am
@vinnie: you wrote: “Pennie’s link to the wiki page was very helpful, and I appreciate it. But does no one else find it curious that Wikipedia writers had to be the ones to go through the bill? Is there a government-produced abstract for the Act?”
Here it is (at the bottom of the wiki page I posted): http://www.recovery.gov/
The abstract of the entire law has a link from the page at the above address:
http://www.whitehouse.gov/the_press_office/ARRA_public_review/
M.O.T.U
February 19, 2009 - 8:34 am
BTW-how can the GOP mean Grand Old Party when there are no black people? OK there are some, but the black people who belong to the GOP are not REAL black people.
Everybody knows there is no party without the brothers and sisters. The should change to the GOGT-that’s Grand Old Get Together.
Shit! Was that a gun shot? Oh yeah I’m in Oakland, I forgot.
M.O.T.U
February 19, 2009 - 8:38 am
BTW-how can the GOP mean Grand Old Party when there are no black people? OK there are some, but the black people who belong to the GOP are not REAL black people.
Everybody knows there is no party without the brothers and sisters. They should change to the GOGT-that’s Grand Old Get Together.
Shit! Was that a gun shot? Oh yeah I’m in Oakland, I forgot.
pennie
February 19, 2009 - 8:41 am
@B.D.T.R. yo wrote, “My bad Pennie, I took what you wrote as a slightly exaggerated post based on your beliefs and hatred toward any specific party (which is plentiful across the web), and pardoning of the other (i.e. the one you affiliate yourself with), when there is plenty of blame to go around on both ends instead of one just being wrong and the other correct in all things. So, for that I apologize.”
No problem.
FYI: I have never endorsed nor affiliated myself with ANY party other than those thrown by friends advocating shots of Patron silver accompanied by great dancing music and consensual intimate physical contact…
That’s some real stimulus!
Martha Thomases
February 19, 2009 - 8:41 am
@Vinnie: It’s my understanding that most members of Congress don’t read every bill. Not all of them are as long as the Stimulus, but they do routinely run hundreds of pages. That’s why they have staffs.
pennie
February 19, 2009 - 8:47 am
@M.O.T.U.
It’s really a dog party: BOW WOW
Boring Old White, Wheelchair Or Wearisome…
Vinnie Bartilucci
February 19, 2009 - 10:15 am
“My BIGGEST problem with the GOP (and there are a LOT more) is that they make it clear that if you are not with them you are against them. As a example-who the fuck uses the words “real Americans’ in an election? Just how crazy is that?”
Sorry, but I’d have to say the Democrats are just as guilty of that. It is exactly that “We or they” mindset that keeps things deadlocked.
Go seek out the Popeye cartoon “Olive for President”. There’s a sequence where she presents ideas to Congress. The hall is filled with Elephants on one side and donkeys on the other. Every idea she poses, one group shouts in unison “We ACCEPT it!” and immediately after the other shouts “We REJECT it!”. they switch it each time to be fair, but the point remains, the idea that That’s How They Do Things was in place FIFTY YEARS AGO. And there has been no substantive attempt to change it, nor progress in doing so.
Susan Sarandon (noted leader of men, or at least of Tim Robbins) said that American Dissent Won’t Be Silenced Anymore. What were the people who dissented with the stimulus bill called? What are people who disagree with Obama called? There is nothing approximating cooperation in Congress-those who attempt it are called traitors and wishy-washy sellouts, by either side. Remember, Three rights make a left…or something.
“It’s my understanding that most members of Congress don’t read every bill.”
And my point is that this is damnfoolery. It is EXACTLY how last minute amendments and pork projects get added to things, resulting in stuff that gets pointed out after the fact by The Other Side.
And I do not see that changing.
Martha Thomases
February 19, 2009 - 11:22 am
@Vinnie. You said:
Susan Sarandon (noted leader of men, or at least of Tim Robbins) said that American Dissent Won’t Be Silenced Anymore. What were the people who dissented with the stimulus bill called? What are people who disagree with Obama called? There is nothing approximating cooperation in Congress-those who attempt it are called traitors and wishy-washy sellouts, by either side. Remember, Three rights make a left…or something.
Who is doing the name calling? Can you cite any examples? (I mean, I like Susan Sarandon, and think she’s reasonably intelligent, for an actress. But I don’t consider her a leader of anything, just a person with opinions.
M.O.T.U
February 19, 2009 - 4:20 pm
Martha said
,…I mean, I like Susan Sarandon, and think she’s reasonably intelligent, for an actress…”
DAMN that was COLD. I dated a well known I mean WELL known actress. About 6 months ago saw her coming out of a resturant I went to say “hi’ and her bodyguard put his hand on my shoulder and told me to “back off” I said blank Bitch and I are friends, he turned to her and she shook her head “no’ Then the body guard slightly push me away. I shot him the “I’m not that guy look’ and he left me alone. To Ms. Bitch I said ” I STILL HAVE THOSE PHOTOS!”
If I EVER need money…
M.O.T.U
February 19, 2009 - 4:24 pm
Yes-the above post was filled with typos. I’m sorry, I ‘m looking at the photos and it’s just hard to type with one hand.
pennie
February 19, 2009 - 5:24 pm
Although she grabbed me in “Pretty Baby,” Susan Sarandon damn stole my heart in “Atlantic City.” Rumor has it she gives good…politics. Smart witty redhead with a killer smile. Back in the day she made all the girls swoon! Some still do…}’;>)
Martha Thomases
February 19, 2009 - 5:25 pm
@MOTU: No, I really do think she’s intelligent. However, she’s an actress, not someone doing policy full time. She’s not an expert.
Names? Hints?
M.O.T.U
February 19, 2009 - 5:39 pm
No names, no hints. As much shit as I talk I’d rater not spoil her Q rating…UNLESS she really pisses me off. Than it’s HELLO TMZ!
McCarthy
February 19, 2009 - 5:54 pm
It’s Susan Sarandon, isn’t it?
pennie
February 19, 2009 - 6:10 pm
THAT why she and Thelma went over the cliff!?