Soup: A Master Of The Universe’s Dream, by Michael Davis – Straight No Chaser #106

February 20, 2009 Michael Davis 14 Comments

When I first saw Tatiana’s article I thought WTF? I mean this is a pop culture and political web site and Ms. Look how everything I write gets tons of comments writes an article about a freakin pot and gets… tons of comments. I also notice NOBODY ever writes anything negative about what she writes.

Like I said, at first I thought WTF (If you don’t know what WTF means ask Tatiana she knows. She knows everything) but after giving it some thought I realize that Ms. I’m still getting hit on because of the photo I ran in my column is on to something. So instead of writing my thoughts on how we can achieve world peace or running the personal thank you note from President Obama in which he thanks me for delivering the Asian woman vote, I’m going to write a column inspired by Tatiana.

So here goes…

I like soup. I like to eat soup. When I’m really swamped with work and there’s no Asian woman around I make soup. I prefer soup I can microwave that way I can save time to get back to my many projects.

Sometimes I don’t finish my soup. You know what I do when that happens? I put the uneaten soup in my refrigerator. I find a refrigerator comes in handy when I want to keep soup cold. Hey now that I think of it I can keep other food cold also!

My mother made soup for me when I was a kid. I love my mother. You know what? I also love soup. I’m so busy I need something fast to eat like soup.

My Freelance Schedule works like this:

• Wake up
• Kick two Asian women out of my bed
• Snuggle up with the third Asian woman
• Reply to fan mail (that’s FAN MAIL Tatiana!)
• Make soup
• Eat soup
• Refrigerate uneaten soup
• Work
• Watch All My Children
• Nap
• Yell at agents, lawyers, managers, Jasmine
• Return calls from Halle Berry
• Dinner, soup
• Asian porn
• Sleep and repeat

So I urge you take out that blah, blah, blah,blah, blah, blah, blah,blah soup.

Now, I want some comments!!!