High School All Over Again, by Tatiana – In The Mix # 15
April 9, 2009 Tatiana EL-Khouri 16 Comments
When I was in high school, I was pretty quiet and a bit of a wallflower in comparison to my group of friends. Instead of focusing on dates and style, I did a lot of volunteer in after-school groups or church groups.
Once I was working on the crew for the musical, The Wiz. I was painting the backgrounds for the sets and needed instructions for my next task. Instead of giving me more work, the crew leader brushed me off because she assumed I was one of the many involved in the crew there for academic credit instead of a genuine interest in set building. There was another instance during a meeting, my integrity and motives were called to question. I was told that their outrage stemmed from my actions hurting their feelings.
The truth is one of those happened in high school, the other happened as an adult.
I consider myself a good and helpful person. I’m a good friend and listener and work well with others. So why are there some people out there who insist on dragging me into their high school, childish antics?
I spoke to MOTU about a specific issue with an organization that continues to try and take advantage of me. Before I could get to most of the worst transgressions against me, MOTU stopped me and said in a voice so calm, it was scary- that I’m glad he’s my friend, “F— them and their families.” And he was serious.
I’m not to that level of cut and dry reaction, but the undertone of his sentiment rings true. These people are not thinking of me, my family, or operating on the professional level of respect that I expect of others in a business situation.
So why should I worry about it?
Quite frankly their actions are more reminiscent of the days of High School- where everything from rumors to concern of social status to the sun shining bright is a personal attack on you and your personal space.
I’m going to continue to be me and not let petty stuff get me down. In business, feelings need to be checked at the door. I’m not looking for validation, I just want to work with professionals that have respect for what I have to offer.
Martha Thomases
April 9, 2009 - 11:06 am
Sometimes it’s not that people don’t care about you, but they don’t think the same way. I’ve had my feelings hurt — and hurt other people’s — because we’re not on the same wavelength.
That’s not what business is about. Hurts are hurts, and don’t belong in meetings. Although empathy is always useful.
marc alan fishman
April 9, 2009 - 12:20 pm
The assertion of self is very important. Those who know who they are and what they stand for will prevail always. Chin up Tatiana, with friends like the MOTU, you’re always amongst good people who will steer you on the right and just paths.
MOTU
April 9, 2009 - 12:38 pm
I was wrong when I said F— them and their families. I should have told you, F— them, their families and their little dog too.
Keu, The Talent
April 9, 2009 - 1:08 pm
I’m going to have to disagree with MOTU when he says “F— them, their families and their little dog too.” I don’t think that sex solves anything. It might bring a temporary calm to the storm, but in the long run it’s not worth it- especially with little dogs.
MOTU
April 9, 2009 - 1:57 pm
Keu-
For your information ‘F’ means ‘forget’…yeah that’s the ticket.
pennie
April 9, 2009 - 2:14 pm
@Tatiana: “I’m going to continue to be me and not let petty stuff get me down. In business, feelings need to be checked at the door. I’m not looking for validation, I just want to work with professionals that have respect for what I have to offer.”
My one pennie (as opposed to 2 cents): Tatiana, you should always continue being yourself–it’s the best and most honest expression of yourself but in my time on and around the block, I’ve found it’s a verrrry rare person in business who is able to leave her/his feelings at the door. Rampant favoritism, lack of objectivity, the usual garden variety of biases and prejudices all factor in.
Your desire to work with other professionals is one I can both share and relate to (although right now, unemployed, I’d settle for working with frothing offensive idiots) but often, what you get is no different than a latter-day high school, with the participants never having transcended that experience. You get something better, you are indeed fortunate. Then again, I admit I have high standards.
Mike Gold
April 9, 2009 - 2:31 pm
Keu — You don’t like little dogs? Damn! What kind of person doesn’t like little dogs? I love little dogs. Pan-fried with veggie baked beans. Teenie Weenie Beanie Weenies. Awesome!
Tatiana — A running theme here. Just be yourself; sooner or later you’ll come to appreciate just how fantastic yourself is.
pennie
April 9, 2009 - 3:20 pm
@ MOTU, Keu and Mike,
Who ate the dogs out?
M
April 9, 2009 - 4:28 pm
Tatiana. I agree with M.O.T.U. F-them all! Including their little dogs! Petty people produce petty little things and are blinded by their miniscule achievements that they can’t see the big picture and recognize those who have the ability to help them get there.
Besides, this experience will make you stronger!
Pennie…”Who ate the dogs out?” LOL that’s funny…
MOTU
April 9, 2009 - 4:40 pm
Pennie
Republicans did-but they won’t admit it even when the tape shows up on the news but until it does they will rail against it as because it’s not moral.. like they are…yeah sure they are,
E. Van Lowe
April 9, 2009 - 8:29 pm
Tatiana, the group Bowling For Soup said it best in their song “High School Never Ends.”
“The whole damn world is just as obsessed
With who‘s the best dressed and who‘s having sex,
Who‘s got the money, who gets the honeys,
Who‘s kinda cute and who‘s just a mess
And I still don’t have the right look
And I still have the same three friends
And I’m pretty much the same as I was back then
High school never ends…”
And, truth is, it doesn’t. MOTU is right, F ’em.
McCarthy
April 9, 2009 - 8:56 pm
Will you go to the prom with me? As friends.
Carmen
April 10, 2009 - 9:06 am
Tatiana, as I have told you many times just be who you are and forget about everyone else. If they can’t understand that you are only trying to do what is best for the organization then as MOTU says F- (forget) about them.
Sometimes when we try to give 110% of ourselves people see it as taking over. They do not see that all we are trying to do is the best for the organization.
I have gotten myself in trouble so many times, because if I am involved in an organization and I see that something needs to be done and no one is doing it I just go ahead and do it, but people many times don’t see this as helping they see it as taking over.
People must learn that if they belong to an organization and can’t give 110% then they should not be in it.
You keep on doing what you are doing always your best. Be true to yourself always.
Hannah
April 10, 2009 - 9:52 am
I think most people are insecure about their everyday lives and a small percentage of idiots, they take it out on other people to make themselves feel a little bit superior instead of dealing with it.
You can’t teach stupidity new tricks and in the words of Forrest Gump, “stupid is as stupid does”. I think it’s the perfect quote for this.
Chin up, chica. 🙂
Keu, The Talent
April 10, 2009 - 10:45 am
@ MOTU
Sorry I had the dirty mind to think that F___ meant something else. BUT… I still stand by my statement that sex with little dogs doesn’t solve anything.
@ Mike Gold
That sounds like a recipe to try. I think I’ll make some of it and sneak it into the movie theater this weekend. 17 Again is out, ya’ll! Let’s go!!!!
Keu, The Talent
April 10, 2009 - 10:51 am
@ Tatiana
Being yourself is soooo 80’s. That’s why I’m a pirate. Argh! I’m a somali pirate! Argh! Shiver me timberlands! Argh!