The Casting Couch Again, by Michael Davis – Straight No Chaser #113
April 24, 2009 Michael Davis 13 Comments
Sometime ago I wrote a piece on the casting couch in Hollywood and how stupid you have to be to fall for that or how much of an asshole you have to be to try that on unsuspecting young girls.
I stand behind my statement that young girls who think they can sleep them selves to the top are whores and the guys who pretend to help you (listen- NO ONE is going to risk their career putting somebody with no talent in a project so you most likely were going to get the part anyhow before you used your mouth for something other than your lines) anyway those guys are nothing less than parasites who give Hollywood a bad name.
Hollywood, a bad name? I admit that is not hard to do but you get my drift.
I had a meeting a couple of days ago that I did not want to take not because of the people I was meeting with but because of a massive migraine I had (and still feel somewhat hence the late post) during a break in the meeting while people were using the bathroom or having a coke I was doing my usual ‘praying for death’ because of my headache when a young lady told me a story about a pretty high powered executive at a MAJOR network who offered her friend a deal in exchange for a sexual favor.
This pissed me off to no end.
I know this guy, not personally but I’ve been in meeting with him and he is a major playa. I told the girl that her friend should go back wearing a wire, record the offer again, send it to TMZ then to the police then to the Network head THEN to his wife. She can remain anonymous and this would teach this low life MOFO what the deal is and also send a loud message to men like him.
I H O P E she does it. I hope she nails this asshole to the wall and puts his bullshit out there and destroys his career. The studio he works with does a SLEW of kid projects so yes-this would destroy his career.
You know if he done it once he’s done it a thousand times. Well with a bit of luck he’s about to get done.
Mike Gold
April 25, 2009 - 1:48 am
Many years ago, a newspaper radio/teevee columnist offered to promote the hell out of my radio show if I slept with him. This was back when I was young and cute and had hair and stuff. Anyway, previous to this I had always felt vaguely complimented when a guy hit on me (but, given my predilections, more so when a girl hit on me — I was young and cute and had hair and stuff) but the quid pro quo offended me and, moreover, this guy was amazingly fat and ugly.
He went on to become a major Hollywood writer and personality. He still is. But I wonder if, at some point while he was launching his career in Los Angeles, the tables were ever turned on him, and if so how he felt about it.
pennie
April 25, 2009 - 4:41 am
“I stand behind my statement that young girls who think they can sleep them selves to the top are whores…”
What about the girls who go to the bottom?
}’;>)
Mike Gold
April 25, 2009 - 10:57 am
Penny asked: “What about the girls who go to the bottom?”
As Hedley LaMarr once said, “my mind reels from a whirlwind of small thoughts.”
M.O.T.U
April 26, 2009 - 11:01 am
True story-a some years ago I was at a restaurant in Beverly Hills when I spot a late 70’s early 80’s lady mega TV star at a table.
I loved her show so I go over and say one of the two things I always say to celebrities-if I like them I say “Black people love you” if they clearly are a bit stand off I say ” Can I have some money?” Well I liked her so I said “Black people love you.” She said, “Does that include handsome black men?” I said “Yes.” with that she invited me to sit down with her and her girlfriend.
Anywho-she’s buying me drinks and being really flirtatious but I’m thinking nothing of it. My phone rings and the ‘star’ asks me who’s calling, I say “My wife.” she says “Tell her you won’t be home tonight.” I laugh and tell my wife ” I’m sitting with So & So and she wants me to tell you I won’t be home tonight.” My wife laughs and after I hang up-So & So says; “We will take my car and I’ll have my driver bring you back in the morning to pick up your car.”
This cracks me up so after a few more drinks she gets up and I walk her and her friend out to the Valet-I hand the attendant my ticket and So & So says loudly; “What are you doing? I told you we were taking my car!”
Only then- D U H-did I realize that she was not kidding. I felt like an idiot-this woman had to be at least 65 years old and really thought I was going to ‘hit that.’
She could give a flying fish about my wife or the 5 kids I told her I had to get home to. I will never forget the look on her face when I told her I was flattered but had to decline, I thought her driver was going to try and kick my ass. The problem there with that was he looked around 70 himself.
The next time I saw her she was at a nightclub with a guy who looked around 20 if that old. They were kissing like high school sweethearts.
I’m sure he was an actor-thinking he was about to get some help in his career, the sad part about that (funny to me) is that most Hollywood stars have NO clout once their day in the sun is done unless they are on the producing side. Well maybe that 20 year old liked his ladies a little older…
ageless pennie
April 26, 2009 - 1:32 pm
@MOTU: “Well maybe that 20 year old liked his ladies a little older… ”
The older they are, the harder they fall, er, come…”
Russ Rogers
April 26, 2009 - 2:11 pm
The discussion reminded me of advice from Benjamin Franklin. I found these words at: http://swarthmore.edu/SocSci/bdorsey1/41docs/51-fra.html
Benjamin Franklin, Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress (1745).
June 25, 1745
My dear Friend,
I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural Inclinations you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. Marriage is the proper Remedy. It is the most natural State of Man, and therefore the State in which you are most likely to find solid Happiness. Your Reasons against entering into it at present, appear to me not well-founded. The circumstantial Advantages you have in View by postponing it, are not only uncertain, but they are small in comparison with that of the Thing itself, the being married and settled. It is the Man and Woman united that make the compleat human Being. Separate, she wants his Force of Body and Strength of Reason; he, her Softness, Sensibility and acute Discernment. Together they are more likely to succeed in the World. A single Man has not nearly the Value he would have in that State of Union. He is an incomplete Animal. He resembles the odd Half of a Pair of Scissars. If you get a prudent healthy Wife, your Industry in your Profession, with her good Economy, will be a Fortune sufficient.
But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:
1. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor’d with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable.
2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.
3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc’d may be attended with much Inconvenience.
4. Because thro’ more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin’d to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.
5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.
6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy.
7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy.
8thly and Lastly They are so grateful!!
Thus much for my Paradox. But still I advise you to marry directly; being sincerely Your affectionate Friend.
Vinnie Bartilucci
April 27, 2009 - 7:02 am
Benjamin Franklin was probably still the coolest person in the country for at least 75 years after his death.
Mike Gold
April 27, 2009 - 7:57 am
“Benjamin Franklin was probably still the coolest person in the country for at least 75 years after his death.”
Great. Now I’ve got to do math.
Franklin was, quite literally, the father of our country.
pennie
April 27, 2009 - 9:45 am
@Mike and Vinny
“Franklin was, quite literally, the father of our country.”
If Franklin was our country’s literal father, then he died contented, He said, “He that raises a large family does, indeed, while he lives to observe them, stand a broader mark for sorrow; but then he stands a broader mark for pleasure too.”
Franklin also said:
“A penny saved is a penny earned.”
“Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. ”
And my personal fave,
“Games lubricate the body and the mind.”
The secret to a longer happier life: Moisturize!
Woo-hooooooo! Girls, stay lubricated!
Jeremiah Avery
April 28, 2009 - 2:40 pm
Ben Franklin richly deserves to be on the $100 bill, such insight!
Tony Isabella
April 30, 2009 - 8:40 am
I’m a day late, but…
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MICHAEL!
I hope you had a spiffy day and that you have many more creative, joyful, and successful years to come!
Tony
Martha Thomases
April 30, 2009 - 9:42 am
Aack! Yesterday was Michael’s birthday?
Please forgive me, MOTU. The world is better with you in it. Glad you were born.
pennie
April 30, 2009 - 1:51 pm
@MOTU
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MICHAEL!”
Wait!
You have birthdays?
What kind of Master of the Universe has birthdays?
Are you really a mortal or immortal?
Learn something new everyday.
Well, then, HAPPPPPPY BIRTHDAY MOTU or Michael!!!!!