Pimp My Party, by Michael Davis – Straight No Chaser #116
May 8, 2009 Michael Davis 14 Comments
Rush Limbaugh did not help ANY GOP candidate win in the last election. According to a recent poll only 23% of voters consider themselves republicans. Last week The GOP announced OVER AND OVER again they were about to launch a nation wide listening tour. Limbaugh disagreed so the GOP did an 180 faster than OJ can say “Where the white women at?”
The tour is now a ‘Teaching tour.” Which is what Limbaugh said the GOP needed.
The GOP leadership is Rush Limbaugh’s bitch.
So, let me get this straight, Rush had NO pull in the last election NO candidate he backed won and yet the GOP treats this guy like a god.
I want that.
I want to be so powerful that even if I have NO pull whatsoever people still follow me out of fear. Imagine that. Imagine someone’s whose views were overwhelmingly rejected by the American people still have enough juice to lead a political party.
The GOP leadership is Rush Limbaugh’s bitch whore.
How stupid are you to follow someone with no ability to deliver on what they promise?
That’s like following the South after the Civil War, it makes no sense whatsoever.
None.
So a ‘Teaching tour’ eh? Is the GOP that stupid they need to be taught? Does no one not see how condescending ‘Teaching tour’ sounds? The GOP wants to TEACH their people.
Teach them what?
What can an out of touch fat pill popping loud mouth teach some very smart people? Hey-I can’t stand the GOP or most conservatives but I admit that there are some really smart people who belong to the GOP. I also share some conservative values but I am and will always be a bleeding heart liberal. That said, with so many smart people in the GOP what will the GOP leadership and Rush teach these people?
What?
The party is in worst shape than after Watergate and the leadership feels they have to teach the masses?
Imagine Richard Nixon deciding to go on a ‘Teaching Tour’ after he resigned the Presidency. WHO would listen? Who is that stupid they would want to be taught by someone who has fallen from the highest place in the land?
It sounds like the GOP leadership is Rush Limbaugh’s bitch, slut whore.
Man, I want that.
I want to have NO power but get people to follow me simply because I speak loud or threaten or promise pain and suffering if I’m not listened to.
That is exactly how pimps keep their whores in check.
Exactly.
Well, GOP if you are going to be done like a whore as least get paid for it.
You might as well get paid like a whore because Rush keeps fucking you.
Vinnie Bartilucci
May 8, 2009 - 8:26 am
Rush Limbaugh is the white, male, deaf, non-married, not rumored-to-be-gay Oprah.
Have you heard about the KFC riots this week? Oprah told her viewers that you could download a coupon and get a free 2-piece Grilled Chicken dinner at KFC.
They had to close down KFC locations because they ran out of food. People saw signs saying they weren’t gonna honor the coupons and LOST it. TV Stations were sending news crews to cover the lines. And yes, they almost all sent the black reporter. But that, as they say, is another story.
Oprah can make kings (and, some would say, Presidents) with a wave of her hand. And take them down just as fast. Just ask texas cattle ranchers, or that guy who made up his biography.
As far as The Media is concerned, that’s the kind of sway Rush holds over his audience. And they hate him for it out of one side of his mouth, and like you, Want That out of the other.
Rush is an entertainer. He speaks his mind, in a witty and sarcastic way. Many people agree with what he says, and others aren’t sure what to think, but he sounds good, and so they agree with him.
Rush’s audience also have money. Some time back, he started advertising Uggz, those lambskin slippers, on the show. They didn’t get people calling to buy the slippers, they got people calling to invest in the company.
So as far as anyone is concerned, his audience is worth courting. So the media and the politicians who want access to his audience do what Rush says. Just like they like to claim his audience does. Irony!
He’s ever reminding people that all he does is sit in a chair and talk for three hours a day. Thanks to the Internet, ANYONE can do that. His is a combination of right place, right time, right voice, right mindset, right wing. And it all worked out right for him.
But since he talks about politics, and not what kind of book to read or which song to like, he is taken more seriously. Yes, this is like taking Jon stewart seriously as well. Or Bono. And many do. And that’s dumb too.
Conservative talk radio is a bit hit in this country. And yet even though, as you rightly state, it did not succeed in helping any candidates win last election, There’s still people out there trying to get them shut down in the interests of “Fairness”. Far too often in this country, “That’s not fair” is synonymous with “I didn’t win”. They’re tried to put on liberal talk show hosts, and NONE have come CLOSE to the popularity of Rush, Sean or Glenn. Heck, some have been forced to seek employment in Minnesota politics. Is that because of some massive conspiracy to keep the other side off the airwaves? No, it’s because not enough people wanted to hear them, either because they don’t agree with their statements, or more likely, they just weren’t very entertaining.
It’s all a power thing. Right now the Libacrats are the Skeksis, desperate to eliminate any who might conceivably destroy they power one day, and Rush is the little Gelfling living in the Pod People’s village who might conceievably one day bring them down. So they continue to attack him. And with each attack, they increase his PERCIEVED power. The mindset is, you only go after things that are actually threats, so he must be a threat. There’s also the Streisand Syndrome reaction – as soon as you say “Don’t look at that”, the human reaction is to look. So again, more people look.
Rush is a very funny man, He’s just funny about things that people think Isn’t Funny. So it’s assumed he’s being serious all the time.
Reg
May 8, 2009 - 12:57 pm
Vinnie said: “Rush Limbaugh is the white, male, deaf, non-married, not rumored-to-be-gay Oprah”
I can certainly imagine that ol’ Buush boy (an old Black euphemism) has an iron clad confidentiality agreement with someone of the L & W profession. Coz you just know that there’s a deep seated need to atone.
As far as the absolutely mortifying embarrassment that the KFC / Oprah / Popeye’s debacle brought forth…I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop….that being the watermelon firesale. Sheesh.
C’mon people. I realize that hard times hits us harder . deeper, and longer than anyone else… but d@#$#! 🙁 🙁
M.O.T.U
May 8, 2009 - 2:05 pm
I MISSED FREE CHICKEN AT KFC????????
Vinnie Bartilucci
May 8, 2009 - 2:15 pm
A leisurely Google-brand web search of the phrase “KFC riots” reveals a couple of web site names that I literally can’t believe people haven’t been set on fire over. I won’t even repeat them.
M.O.T.U
May 8, 2009 - 3:00 pm
I just call a friend of mine who works for a news network-she said it appears that the ‘riots’ are urban myths for the most part.
I don’t know-sounds like a new chapter in my book about black people:
Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Black People But Are Afraid To Ask.
Chapter 20
Why Black People love Chicken
The black man’s love affair with chicken started after the end of the Civil War. Blacks with their new found freedom wanted to express themselves by frying something.
“Why don’t we fry a cow?” Larry Cowan, great great grandfather of renowned artist Denys Cowan asked in the summer of 1866.
After repeated attempts to fry an entire cow it soon became clear that would not work. Larry Davis, great great grandfather of future Master Of The Universe, Michael Davis asked; ” Why don’t we date some Asian women?”
Most of the black men agreed with this. At one point it was suggested by an Asian woman; “Maybe you should fry a chicken.”
And that’s why Black men love chicken. Black women not so much…chicken that is. Black women don’t like chicken as much as black men like it. I’m not suggesting that black men don’t like black women. That would be bad.
The above is a rough draft of the new chapter-give me a break, I’m writing this on the fly.
Alan Coil
May 8, 2009 - 4:03 pm
Vinnie said:
“Conservative talk radio is a bit hit in this country. And …There’s still people out there trying to get them shut down in the interests of “Fairness”.”
Not true, Vinnie. Just another right wing faux meme.
Libacrats? Okay, Republicancer.
Alan Coil
May 8, 2009 - 4:04 pm
Michael, saw this on another site today:
Republicans Opposing Virtuously Everything. R.O.V.E.
Mike Gold
May 8, 2009 - 5:28 pm
MOTU sez: “I MISSED FREE CHICKEN AT KFC? Nope, you missed nothing. Their grilled chicken is shit. Worse than their fried chicken. Give me Popeye’s any day.
Alan: Have you been following Cheney’s post-employment stress syndrome? The Penguin’s Meltdown! I can’t wait for the time when he and his buddies will be found guilty in the Hague and tossed in the clinker. And maybe waterboarded, just for giggles. “It is torture NOW?” “Are you just agreeing with me to make it stop?”
Alan Coil
May 8, 2009 - 6:19 pm
I know of Cheney’s trying to protect himself from being charged, but I can’t follow the specifics. This entire 8-year period has me sick at heart. I often scream at the television news. I am trying very hard to behave, but I am so close to picking up a gun and making it into the next news cycle.
I have no desire to go to jail, but perhaps that would be a safer place for me to be.
Jim
May 9, 2009 - 1:41 am
Fried chicken has never been eaten until you go to a third world country where chickens are killed in the back of the restaurant. Seriously, I had some fried chicken in Belize, and
a.) I didn’t feel disgusting inside, and
b.) holy crap, that was good chicken.
John Tebbel
May 9, 2009 - 5:13 am
Now he’s kidding half the time, eh? Yeah. Sure. And sin won’t send you to hell.
Mike Gold
May 9, 2009 - 1:52 pm
On a dare from a bunch of proto-Vegans, I purchased, killed, and barbecued a chicken. Best meal I ever had in my life. Not fried, but damn great. And, yes, they really do run around like a chicken with their head cut off.
Best fried chicken I’ve ever had that wasn’t home made (Joe Staton’s mom made the best home-made) is at Stroud’s in the Kansas City area — Kansas City MO and in Fairway, KS. Absolutely fantastic. My brain aches from just thinking about it. It’s the only restaurant where I gladly waited two hours for a table.
Marc Fishman
May 9, 2009 - 9:22 pm
@ Mike Gold…. c’mon! What about Browns? Surma’s? Harold’s?!
Mike Gold
May 10, 2009 - 6:42 am
Harold’s is a Chicago chain, with each store individually operated. Some are excellent. Some, not so much. You take your chances, but it’s usually worth a shot. Browns is a great place to go if you’re looking to get shot. I don’t know from Surma’s — is it local to Chicago? Is it REALLY worthwhile? Should I go there during the Chicago Comicon (Wizzy Whirl) this summer?