Rambling Round, by Martha Thomases – Brilliant Disguise

May 16, 2009 Martha Thomases 4 Comments

It’s probably no surprise that I’m an obsessive traveller. I’ve delayed writing this piece because I’m packing. How many skirts do I need? Shoes? What about dresses? Or a raincoat?

It doesn’t matter where I’m going, because I always fret. If the destination is someplace cold, I have additional worries about socks and sweaters, boots and hats.

As it happens, I’m going to Florida to visit my father. Maybe we’ll go see STAR TREK and remember how we used to watch it together when it was first on television and we were young.

Then, in two weeks, I’m going to Pittsburgh for my step-sisters wedding. A few months ago, I was also in Florida, and, you’ll recall, I was just in California seeing The World’s Best Boy, now grown-up to be the World’s Best Person.

In fact, the only trip I’ve taken this year that wasn’t for family was to see Pennie. And she is family. Which brings me to this week’s subject.

My family drives me crazy. We push each others’ buttons. For example:

• They have unreasonable expectations about my behavior, and I want them to perform miracles for me.

• Sometimes, they embarrass me and, while I’m sure this will shock you, I, too, can be something of a dork and an asshole.

• They dress like they don’t live in New York. I haven’t bought anything new for more than a year, because I’m really too fat to deserve anything nice.

And yet, I go out of my way to see them, to talk to them, to send e-mails and Facebook messages. Isn’t this the very definition of insanity?

No.

It’s the very definition of love. And family

It is my experience (and yours may vary) that, if you know a person is going to drive you crazy, and yet you still seek that person out, you’re family. If you know someone will criticize you, or make an offensive remark about an entire race of people, and yet you still sit next to that person at dinner, you’re family. If you know someone’s bad habits and poor judgement and gross habits, and you still smile when that person walks through the door, you’re family.

And if you know that person snores loudly enough to be heard in the next room and you still sleep with that person, you’re in love.

My family is not perfect. Neither am I. We are humans. It is our uniqueness – flaws and all – that make us humans. As humans, we are worthy of love. And families. Some people in our families we get to choose. Some we don’t. Once they are family, we accept them. That’s the power of love.

So, I’m going to be there for three days. Should I bring work-out clothes for three gym sessions, or assume I’ll swim at least one day? Are three t-shirts enough? Do you think it might rain?

Martha Thomases, Media Goddess, is also unsure as to how much knitting she might need.