Future Shock, by Arthur Tebbel & Chris Toia – Pop Art… and Chris #29

June 23, 2009 Arthur Tebbel & Chris Toia 8 Comments

Dear Art & Chris,

I know you guys have become known for your groundbreaking and insightful takes on bleeding edge current events. However, I was wondering if you could address one of the enduring questions of the modern era and end an age-old feud. Which is the better Back to the Future sequel, Part II or Part III?

-Joe Bereta, www.baratsandbereta.com

Joe,

We know this is a sensitive issue that divides families and turns brother against brother. That said it also divides your humble columnists. Art prefers Part II and Chris prefers Part III. We will both make out case and allow you, the reader, decide who’s right.

Art here, Part II is, by far, the more satisfying movie experience. First and foremost it delivers on the promise of the title and actually shows us the future. For all their talk parts one and three are films about not changing the present (and I’ll get to how silly the actual stakes of the third film are in a little bit) not about the future at all. I’m sure my associate will dismiss all of this as a juvenile obsession with the hoverboards but honestly no young person has ever seen that film and not thought about how cool having a hoverboard would be. It captures the imagination with its futuristic imagery in a way that a cliché Western never could. I mean unless it’s the first time you’ve seen a Western. It’s even a shitty Western. It also presumes that everyone looks exactly the same as their great-great-grandparents which is by far the most egregious time travel logic hole in the entire trilogy.

Part II also has a real sense of consequence should the hero fail. Marty sees his future life as one of injury and ruin if he doesn’t stop Biff from taking over. In Part III if Marty doesn’t succeed an old man will die slightly before his time in the era where he decided to live his life. I find it quite unlikely that when Doc Brown fantasized about living in the Old West that he might die in a gunfight. If that tombstone had said that he had died of tetanus would Marty have hopped in the DeLorean to bring him a tetanus shot? Think of all the murders in the history of time that Marty didn’t go back to prevent. This isn’t to say that Part II is a prefect film, far from it, but its flaws are more directly because it has to be the middle end of a trilogy and therefore cannot provide any real resolution. There’s no resolution in The Empire Strikes Back but it’s still the best in the Star Wars trilogy because of the quality of the events depicted.

This is Chris now, Back to the Future Part III is a better film than Back to the Future Part II. Right now many of you may think, “Hey Chris, this is crazier than your prediction that the Mets will be the 2009 World Series Champions.” However, I’m not crazy, and Part II actually sucks worse than the New York Mets, way worse Part II is so bad it makes AIDS seem like kittens with AIDS.

Back to the Future was great. It was so great that 90% of the Part II is exactly the same. It’s basically Back to the Future with a shitty version of Blade Runner sandwiched in the middle. By the end of the film there’s approximately way the hell too many Marty’s running around the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance, and I don’t know how all of them can teach Chuck Berry Rock and Roll. How many sequels suck so bad that they actually make the original movie seem worse after watching? I guess Doc Brown was right when he said, “Don’t fuck around with the past Marty.” Granted, Part II had one thing going for it, hoverboards. To this day most of us are still waiting for 2015 so Mattel can finally release the hoverboard.
Unfortunately the rest of the film is still needlessly complicated, hopelessly boring, and shockingly somber compared to the tone of the first film. Part II is less Empire Strikes Back, and more Attack of the Clones.
Now I know Part III isn’t great. The love story between Doc and that chick the Clayton Ravine was named after isn’t as romantic as the one between Doc and Marty. Also, a friggin’ train? Yeah that sucked. However, the story is simple, self-contained, and most importantly satisfying. There are Cowboys, Indians, Clint Eastwood, and ZZ Top! Part III makes me smile, whereas Part II made me think about how many plot holes there are in films with time travel. If you still think Part II is better I’ve got a ravine around here that could be named after ya.

We hope that this helped some people out there reach some conclusions on this matter. The only certainty that can really be reached here is that the original Back to the Future was by far the best installment and that maybe movie studios should leave well enough alone and not make quite so many sequels.