The Lord of the Con, by Michael Davis – Straight No Chaser #124

July 3, 2009 Michael Davis 1 Comment

Like Frodo’s famous ring in Lord of the Rings, Comic Con International is one of many media conventions throughout the year and throughout the world. And just like Frodo’s ring, Comic Con International rules over all popular culture conventions all over the universe.

It’s just all that.

Because Tatiana’s column appears a day before mine, she had the great idea (or perhaps she stole a great idea) to write abut the convention before me. I read her story about how she and I first met. I remember it completely different!

I was surrounded by 10 or 11 adoring women fans from Japan. Tatiana tries to get my attention. And get my attention she did- I thought she was a tall Japanese girl. For the first time in my life, I was wrong about something. Most of her story had a ring of truth and I guess it could have happened that way. But the one thing I remember clear as day, is she did eat on my dime the entire weekend and she brought her brother. But then again every year at Comic Con at least 70 people eat on my dime and that’s cool. The difference with Tatiana is that she remained in my life.

When I entertain at Comic Con, I have a few objectives:

1. To hype whatever I’m doing;
2. To establish new business relationships;
3. To preside over the hippest, most fun panel put on at a popular culture convention, The Black Panel!

Let me say something about The Black Panel and how I roll when I’m on stage-I’m not kidding when I say this, the only person who is even in the same league as me when it comes to presenting at Comic Con is Kevin Smith. He’s good but I’m better. If you don’t believe me, ask Harlan Ellison. Who’s said I’m the best he’s ever seen. And he should know, he’s a genius! Yes, I’m better than Kevin but he makes movies and…and I don’t…shit.

Yeah he makes movies…but I’m sexier.

My main objective at Comic Con is ultimately to have someone write me a check, preferably a big check. Tatiana has yet to write me a big check, the fact that she is still hanging around is a true testament to her talent…and those blackmail photos.

Because Comic Con is the single most important event in the history of mankind. I will devote the next 3 weeks, my column will be devoted strictly to Comic Con and Comic Con related events- because it’s that important.

It’s no secret that every year I give a banging party at Comic Con. In years past, the fire department has shut us down, 2 different image studio members got into a fistfight..against each other. Boys II Men showed up and nobody recognized them at the height of their popularity, and the only time I’ve ever seen Fae Desmond, Comic Con’s executive director, at a loss for words is when I introduced her to Magic Johnson at one of my parties.

Yeah my parties are pretty damn cool and pretty exclusive. They have to be, A-list celebrities, comic book legends, and Asian girls attend. So we just can’t let every Tom, Dick or fat fan in to the party. However this year because I’m so excited about the success of MDW, I am extending a VIP pass to anyone who reads the site. If you see me in the convention, mention the site and I will hook you up.

Now I can only give out so many passes- so its first come, first serve. If you haven’t been to a Michael Davis party, you haven’t been to a party. Most Comic Con parties are a bunch of people sitting around talking about comics with a drink in their hand. My parties are PAR-TAYS! I get invited to a million comic con parties a year. There are only two I attend religiously, Dark Horse’s party and Bob Chapman’s party-THOSE are great parties and the only ones that compete with mine in the fun factor.

Soooo-watch this space for all the news fit to print in the next few weeks.

Oh- about all bragging about how good I am and how much fun the Black Panel is, I refer you to a Yogi Berra quote-“It’s not bragging if you can do it.”