No, by Michael Davis – Straight No Chaser #131

August 28, 2009 Michael Davis 4 Comments

I’m a simple guy. I really am. To me ‘no’ just means ‘no.’

It’s does not mean I don’t like you. It does not mean I mean you harm it just means ‘no.’

If I don’t like you I simply don’t deal with you. If I meant you harm well…

Why deal with anyone you don’t like? That just stupid. I’m lucky enough…nah that’s bullshit; I’m talented enough to be at or near the top of my game in my career. That means if I’m in the room with you it’s because I want to be there. I fully understand how a lot of people have to work with dicks.

Hell, I understand that to a lot of people I AM that dick they have to work with.

Hey, I get that. I’m a lot of things but stupid I am not. I’m a bit of a pill to be around for some but trust me if you think I’m a dick and you are working with me let me ask you this…who’s the dick?

I just told you I’m good enough not to have to work with those people I don’t like so…I ask again, who’s the dick?

I say all this because I know a really talented person who I like who I feel has a real problem with personal responsibility and with the word ‘no.’ It makes me realize that the world is full of people who just think they are owed something.

Because I said ‘no’ to this person, I am now a ‘dick’.

Here’s the skinny, this person needs a car. I have sitting in my driveway three cars. Two I drive and one that just sits there and I rarely if ever drive. The car that sits is a completely restored kick ass Datsun (Nissan) 1983 280 ZX.

This car is CHERRY.

I have two vices (three if you count Asian women), I like toys and I like cars. The 280 is my DREAM CAR. I still remember the commercial for the ZX-a kid is riding his bike when he comes to an abrupt stop. He’s staring at the ZX and all he says is “Someday.” The tagline for the spot was ‘AWESOME.’

I was just a kid when I saw that and it stuck with me until I could afford my first Z. I’ve owned 10 Z’s and I LOVE those cars. My 280 is sitting in my driveway because I was hanging out at Deny Cowan’s house watching football when some ass wipe ran into it while it was PARKED!

Now, the damage is not really bad and the car is completely drivable but I’m too anal to drive it until I can oversee its bodywork. That means I have to interview those who may be lucky enough to work on my baby.

Yes, it’s silly but it’s important to me.

So I get a call from this person who asked me if they could borrow one of my three cars.

I say ‘no.’

I’m then told that I should let them drive the ‘old car’ that’s just sitting in my driveway. I say, ‘no.’

I don’t explain what the car is worth, I don’t explain that it’s a labor of love to me I just say ‘no.’

I’m asked to explain over and over again, I decline to explain and just say ‘no.’ The person can’t believe I’m being so selfish. I ask how am I being so selfish and I’m told because they have need for something and I have three so why not at least let them drive one.

I say ‘no’ just means ‘no.’ they will not respect that so during a phone call I break it down because I’ve had this conversation before and NEVER want to have it again. Here’s how that conversation went.

Do you have insurance?

No, but you do.

Do you have tickets?

Yes.

So, if I add you to my insurance I will have to pay a hefty premium.

Don’t add me; just let me drive the car.

If you drive the car and get into an accident, I’m at risk.

I won’t get into an accident.

What happened to your car?

I had an accident.

I hung up. They called back and I said some choice things to this person I’m fairly sure they won’t be calling me again.

I could give a shit, if I ever hear from them again. All my life I’ve dealt with people who expect you to give them something just because they want it. To these people ‘no’ is akin to insulting their mother, or worse.

What happened to personal responsibility?  I’ve had some real drama in my life over the last month and I simply don’t (nor have I ever) felt the need to explain the hows and whys of any answer I give to a question.

To me “Why or why not?” is reserved for wives, mothers, business and creative partners. Everyone else get’s a ‘no.’

So if you don’t fall into one of those categories then you are out of luck.  What about friends you ask?  Well to me a real friend takes you for who you are and to them ‘no’ just means ‘no.’

Now, I will admit there is something quite wonderful about explaining ‘why and ‘why not’ when you are talking to a friend. Hell, I had that talk last week with some friends and felt GREAT. But if I didn’t want to explain something they just would have let me be.

When you say to someone, “I don’t want to talk about it ” and you DON’T have to talk about it and your friend respects that, THAT is the true mark of friendship.

I’m not selfish, I’m just who I am. ‘No’ just means ‘no.’ Do I care if you are offended?

No.