The Beatles Ain’t Got Nothin’ On Me, by Mike Gold – Brainiac On Banjo #129

August 3, 2009 Mike Gold 4 Comments

Tomorrow’s my birthday, and I’m going to celebrate by having lunch at a Popeye’s along I-80 in Ohio with my lovely wife and beautiful daughter, and dinner in Sweet Home Chicago in preparation for the massive Benefit Auction for John Ostrander this Saturday night at the Chicago Comic-Con. At my age, birthdays aren’t as big a deal as they were in days of yore, and all I really need is some fun food and the company of my family. 

However, since I have to write this week’s Banjo a bit early (and next week’s right after), I’m going to indulge myself for a change by stroking my ego and comparing myself to the President of the United States of America. 

There are any number of similarities between the two of us. No three are unusual, but in total its uncanny. First of all, we share the same birthday, August 4^th. Pretty cool, but the odds are 365-to-1, which aren’t that bad. Neither of us was born in a leap year. 

Both Barack and I are proud Chicagoans, although I am native born to Chicago and Obama was either born in Hawaii or, if you’re the type of paranoid Republican who thinks Glenn Beck is anything less than a pathetically insane asshole, Kenya.

  

Both of us were community organizers in Chicago. I had great fun doing that, and I assume he did as well. It’s actually harder work than you might imagine. I worked drug education issues, and there were guys who thought that was counter-productive to their cash flow stream. 

Both the President and I were Spider-Man fans. I don’t know when (or if) he stopped, but I bought Amazing Fantasy #15 off the stands and only bailed when they capriciously trashed his marriage last year. And, yes, I stayed through the Spider-Clone saga. 

Both of us are left-handed, which gives certain Muslim Fundamentalists two reasons not to shake my hand. Both of us have known David Axelrod; I met him numerous times back when he was doing political commentaries for WXRT Radio and I was a rock’n’roll disc jockey. We shared a mentor in a guy named Don Rose. While I’ve never met Rahm Emanuel, I grew up in what became his district. In fact, that’s where I cast my first vote back when I was 4 ½ years old. No kidding; that really happened. 

Of course, there are differences. Obama’s into basketball, I’m into hockey. Obama’s a liberal who is fuzzy about don’t ask don’t tell and he’s soft on health care. I’m a card-carrying radical who believes anybody who’s qualified should be allowed to have any job he or she wants, including military service. I also believe medical care is our birthright, and I’d give my right arm for the quality care everybody receives in Canada and England. 

Now, I’ve given Obama a lot of grief over those policies, but that comes with the job and he can take it. That’s what I like most about him. The last guy couldn’t take it one bit. But I’ll tell you, I never thought I’d be proudly spending this birthday with a President who is bl… a Chicagoan! 
 

Mike Gold performs the weekly two-hour Weird Sounds Inside The Gold Mind ass-kicking bizarro music and blather show starts up Sundays at 7:00 PM Eastern on www.getthepointradio.com, replayed the following Thursdays at 10:00 PM Eastern. Likewise, his Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind rants pop up every on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday exclusively at www.getthepointradio.com. The regular Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind rants continue every Monday and Friday on The Point podcasts, available right here at www.michaeldavisworld.com, as well as at www.comicmix.com, www.getthepointradio.com,www.zzcomics.com, and www.ravenwolfstudios.com. You can subscribe to The Point podcasts at iTunes by searching under “The Point Radio.”  

Gold is also a regular contributor to www comicmix.com, and edits their online comic book content. Check out the all-new GrimJack: The Manx Cat #3, and Jon Sable Freelance: Ashes of Eden #1, now being solicited in the IDW Publishing section of this month’s Diamond catalog.