Life’s A Bitch, by Michael Davis – Straight No Chaser #138
October 30, 2009 Michael Davis 5 Comments
Everyone knows that except for my stance on crime and violent criminals (kill them all let God sort them out) I’m a bleeding heart Liberal.
I’ve been thinking lately that perhaps I’m guilty of what I often accuse the G.O. P. of and that is thinking that the way they live their lives is the way everybody should lead their lives.
In my quest to present a fair and unbiased view of the ‘other side’ I have conducted an interview with a person from The G.O.P. What follows below is the completely un-edited interview.
MOTU: Thanks for speaking with me. I’m hoping to get a better understanding of your view and opinions.
G.O.P: I’m happy to be here and I also hope to also understand you people better.
MOTU: When you say ‘you people’ what and who exactly are you addressing?
G.O.P: YOU people. You know, liberals…
MOTU: Oh…
G.O.P: …and black people.
MOTU: Does the G.O.P have a problem with black people?
G.O.P: Oh heaven’s NO!!
MOTU: Are you sure?
G.O.P: 100 million percent sure!! We MAY have a black, bitch, President, bitch.
MOTU: What do you mean we MAY have a black president?
G.O.P: Well, Obama may not have been, bitch, born, bitch, in this, bitch, country.
MOTU: That’s bullshit.
G.O.P: Bitch, bitch, no, no, bitch, no.
MOTU: While we are on the Obama subject, why are you blocking health care reform?
G.O.P: Bitch, bitch, no, no, bitch, no.
MOTU: Are you going to address any question and try to move the country forward or just continue to be the party of ‘no’ and bitch?
G.O.P: Well, Bitch, bitch, no, no, bitch, no.
After the interview it occurs to me that the G.O.P is simply a party of little bitches who would rather see our current President fail than put ‘America first ’ which is what the G.O.P claims to want.
How do you put ‘America first’ when you BITCH about your President winning the Nobel Peace Prize?
How do you put ‘America first’ when you rejoice when your country loses the bid to host the Olympics?
How do you put ‘America first’ when you refuse to listen to the VAST majority of the country when they say they want a ‘public option?’
Ain’t that a bitch?
Vinnie Bartilucci
October 30, 2009 - 7:03 am
…you weren’t waiting for me to disagree, were you?
Obama’s not the President, he’s The Other Guy. As in “The Other Guy won”. The popular joke is that if Obama ate a BLT on Friday, by Monday the Republicans would be trying to ban bacon.
This will not stop. Resign yourselves to it. If they successfully get a majority in congress in 2012 after two years of convincing old people that Obama’s a dangerous failure who wants to take away your pension and your spare teeth, it MAY slow down.
Till then, watch them attack everything he does. I’m amazed they haven’t obtained the list of TV shows he watches and found out what brand of toilet paper they chose for the Lincoln Bedroom and found ways to spin those.
Marc Alan Fishman
October 30, 2009 - 9:03 am
Great Vinnie, why not just call em up and shout out more directions for them to go to and attack. I just heard that Triple-ply Angel Soft is now linked to H1N1, which in fact was caused by Obama. And I heard they canceled 30 Rock, The Office, Community, and Park and Rec so Jay Leno could have all of Thursday night. With the money saved, they are gonna buy some more heavy lobbyists to defeat the public option.
The G.O.P. used to be called “The Party of Inclusion”. What I see this as, is a roided up version of the GOP when Clinton first got elected. They got their panties up in a bunch, and fired down everything he tried to do. This is the same, but on top of it we get subtle notes of racism, and the added bonus of “cobra commander level evil” in that they would sooner continue to see Americans fall deeper in debt to the healthcare industry then just find a real way to compromise.
Vinnie Bartilucci
October 30, 2009 - 11:27 am
I dunno, Obama seems more of a Cottonelle type to me, but he may choose not to use it because of the negative historical connotation.
For a long time Cottonelle was advertised as having “Cushy Ripples”, which we decided sounded like the name of an old chitlin’ circuit comedian.
Reg
October 30, 2009 - 12:40 pm
Michael – ‘Nuff said.
Vinnie – ‘Cushy Ripples and the chitlin’ circuit comedian’ You’re a fool! 😀 😀
Mike Gold
October 31, 2009 - 12:36 pm
Obama’s not “the other guy.” He’s the amazing guy who built himself up to be so amazing that not even he could live up to his rep.
But Obama can’t have that BLT. MOTU’s copped all the bacon. Lucky for the world, the GOP will continue to go after Obama’s bacon, and the Grand Old Party will look even more like Geezerly Old Poops.