Everyone But Me Is An Fucking Idiot, by Michael Davis – Straight No Chaser #141

November 20, 2009 Michael Davis 0 Comments

Yep.

Everyone but me.

I just realized that I’m a genius. I’m in the same category as Einstein and that guy in the wheelchair. What’s his name…Hawk? Steve? Stevie? Stevie Wonder? Stevie Wonderhawk? Hawkman?

Shit! What is the name of that real smart guy in the wheelchair?

Steven Hawkins!!

See, I told you I was smart. Did YOU figure it out?

Sure you did. You know you came up with Professor X. Why do I now realize that I’m smarter than everyone else on earth?

Simple. Common sense.

I could care less that Obama bowed to the Japanese Emperor. There are some in the GOP that sees this as a sign of weakness. Yeah, a bow to the ruler of the country that we dropped 2 Atomic bombs on and where we still have a armed force there keeping them in check…just in case. Saying Obama appears weak is like Mike Tyson appearing weak after he killed your husband in the ring and tells you he’s sorry.

See, you most likely think that these ‘items’ are worthy of debate and worthy of being a subject on the news. You surely think that this will affect our standing in the world.

Because you think that way is W H Y I’m so much smarter than you.

I simply think Obama was showing respect to a guy who’s thinking “…You motherfuckering Americans dropped two Atomic bombs on my country and here I am welcoming you to my palace…shit.”

Did you know that both Nixon and Eisenhower bowed to Japanese Emperors? In fact Nixon bowed to the Emperor who ordered the attack on Pearl Harbor. How fucked up is that? By the way, both of those Presidents were republicans.

Republicans.

You know from the same Republican Party who is now calling Obama weak.

Yeah, who really looks weak? I’m smarter than you because I see the real power play in effect. What’s that you ask? At any time we can pimp slap Japan back into the Stone Age, that’s power. I also realize that just because you can do a thing does not mean you should do a thing…that’s strength.

Talking shit for 8 years like Bush did got us where? It got us two wars and hatred from most of the world, financial collapse, unemployment and Sarah Palin.

Sarah Palin, there’s another reason I’m smarter than everyone. I have a PhD and I’m not smart enough to be President. In fact, I was a history minor in school and I know if I was President I would nuke some country just because I could. Fuck what’s right, I would nuke some country because I don’t like the way they treat people. You know what? So would Sarah Palin. You ask yourself, (because you are not as smart as me) what’s the difference?

The difference is I know better. The difference is I’m crazy for thinking like that and I KNOW I’m crazy for thinking like that. Sarah Palin is now bitching over a photograph of HER that SHE TOOK WILLINGLY.

How do you bitch about a photo Y O U posed for?

HOW?

HOW?

Oh no, the photo was taken for another reason. That’s what she’s saying.

Here’s why I’m smarter than you, I know that EVERYTHING I do, EVERY photo I’ve EVER taken is RIPE for interpretation if I run for public office.

There’s a photo of me (from college) and I’m holding a big black sex toy. It was a JOKE but I posed for it and it was I. If that photo ended up on the cover of Gay Monkey Weekly how can I deny it? I could say I was 18 but it was my decision to take that photo. It goes to character, pure and simple. Shit, if I killed someone at 18 would I have a chance to be President?

H E L L N O.

Carrie Prejean, the GOP’s new poster bitch (and another reason I’m smarter than you) is talking about ‘family values’ when there are more than a few S E X T A P E S featuring her. I’m all for sex tapes, in fact I’m a freakin expert on the subject but I’m NOT trying to tell other people how to live a clean, non-sex, don’t be gay, life.

Some of the so-called ‘Tea Baggers’ are wearing tee shirts calling for the assassination of President Obama.

I’m not joking.

If you think that this is just ‘freedom of speech’ then I’m absolutely smarter than you.

The ‘right’ is losing their motherfucking minds and I’m smart enough to see that.

How stupid is the ‘right’? How stupid is the GOP?

These ASSHOLES have adopted the term ‘ Tea Baggers’ as their national slogan. If you were as smart as me you would know that ‘Tea Baggers’ is a popular term that means…A GUY PUTS HIS BALLS IN YOUR FACE.

Yep, everybody but me is a fucking idiot…unless you also have common sense- which it appears that NOBOBY in the GOP has. Because if they did have common sense, you would hear someone, ANYONE from the party saying to the media, that some in their ranks should just shut the fuck up because they are idiots.

Sarah Palin, PRESIDENT? Tee shirts calling for the ASSASSINTION of President Obama and NO outrage from the party??

I bet these I D I O T S spell ‘idiots’ like this; capitol G, capital, O, capital, P!

See? They are idio…wait, GOP…my bad, that does spell idiots.