Joe-mental, by Arthur Tebbel & Chris Toia – Pop Art… and Chris #48

November 3, 2009 Arthur Tebbel & Chris Toia 0 Comments

Dear Art & Chris,

      Do I even have a consistent set of beliefs?  It would appear not but I thought I’d ask you boys.  If I don’t speak to you before then have a Happy Chanukah.  In lieu of a eight gifts you can just send me a card thanking me for tanking the public option.

      -Joe Lieberman, U.S. Senator (I-CT) 

Joe,

      Fuck you dude.  So much.  Instead of any sort of thank you we’re going to spend the next several weeks forming our own poop into foil-wrapped discs to send to you as replacement gelt.  If you spew such a torrent of shit every time you talk we figure you must need to replace it somehow. 
 

      People are trying to characterize you as the ideal of moderation in the Senate for your brave stand here.  By people in this instance we mean idiots on the Internet.  These idiots believe that moderation means having an ideology that is mystifyingly inconsistent.  It isn’t even flip-flopping it’s saying whatever it is that’ll get you the most attention at the time.  You want to filibuster a public option for health care despite running in favor of it in 2006 and in the early 90s trying to do away with the filibuster.  None of this makes even a bit of sense. 

      You claim that this is your stand against a new entitlement program that will increase the deficit.  This is despite the fact that the Congressional Budget Office has scored the public option as reducing the deficit by 100 billion dollars over ten years.  In fact, the stronger the public option is the more it seems to save the taxpayer.  You aren’t being clever or roguish; you’re being an insane liar.  Furthermore the phrase “entitlement program” is such an out of control expression.  We’re providing affordable medical coverage.  Just like how we have entitlement programs for feeding poor people and educating people in public schools.  When you call it an entitlement program you make it sound like something wealthy heirs receive for doing nothing.  It is, in fact, something that will allow our society to join the rest of the developed world in the twenty-first century. 

      The problem is the people that have issues with tax and spend policies have no problem supporting big business and their cornerstone policy, rape and pillage.  In a press release issued by America’s Health Insurance Plans (a lobbyist group) they claimed that the health insurance reforms in the bill would raise premiums paid by a family of four by up to 4,000 dollars per year by 2019 compared to without reform.  They fail to mention that even if we do nothing premiums will rise 78% over that period of time.  The public option means that the insurance companies will have to compete with a plan that is primarily concerned with providing care to consumers rather than maximizing profits for shareholders.  We here at Pop Art and Chris did our own study and based on musings and guesswork we estimate that in six months time health insurance premiums will cost as much as seven hope diamonds every month.  This is coincidentally the only form of payment that will be accepted by our new health insurance plan, “Pop Art and Chris tell you to walk it off.”