A Christmas Story…Make that Stories, by Whitney Farmer – Un Pop Culture
December 23, 2009 Whitney Farmer 10 Comments
I want to try something different: I’d like to open up this electronic conversation to anyone who wants to tell something about Christmas. Write me back on the blog! Good or bad, but hopefully peculiar…
I’ll start!
Worst Christmas: With a guy that I used to be in love with. He wanted to cook Christmas dinner but decided instead to play extra basketball as a present to himself. So, he served me a fried steak and water. I gave a gift to myself of no more Christmases (Is that the plural?) with him.
Weirdest Christmas: At my parent’s place in Marina Del Rey a couple of years ago. Everyone piled in for Italian take-out. We’re not Italian. Without planning it and totally out of character, we all ended up in front of the T.V. watching my mom’s favorite Korean soap opera “The Great King Chumong”. We’re not Korean. My rocket scientist brother-in-law asked my mom how she knew what was going on. She replied, “It’s subtitled.” This confused him even more because the subtitles were in Japanese. We’re not Japanese…not even the tiniest DNA twirl of any Asian lineage. (As a Christmas treat, my tigress mother sometimes plays with her sons-in-law like they are unwilling balls of yarn.) We then ended up watching Gerard Butler in “Phantom of the Opera”. Since my little sister – in town from New York with her husband – had been in the original Canadian cast in Toronto, we all new the songs by heart. So, we all collaborated in a spontaneous Phantom sing-a-long.
Best Presents: Maybe Barbies. And considering what my little sister and I did with them, they were NOT dolls – They were ACTION FIGURES…or maybe garden tools when I was 7 and immersed in botany…or KIDDLES – Remember KIDDLES?!? They were so cute I used to chew on them even though I had all my teeth. I’m sure that this is the reason that they aren’t on the market anymore: Severe risk of choking. I’d still pop one in if I had the chance.
Best Christmas: Now. And each future one that will be Now.
—
Whitney runs a rock music venue in L.A. She has an M.B.A. and no one cares.
MOTU
December 23, 2009 - 2:57 pm
Worst Christmas:
The Christmas when my step dad hit my mother in the head with my new Tonka truck he brought me. My mother refused to let him in on Christmas Day ( he was not living with us any more) because he was REALLY drunk. again. He pushed his way in and hit her in the head with my gift. Tonka toys are plastic now, back then they were metal and huge. She almost died.
Saddest Christmas:
My sister died a little before Christmas and the first one without her was horrible.
2nd saddest Christmas;
When everybody decided I was to old for toys.
Best Christmas:
Two words…CAPTAIN ACTION!
Coolest Christmas:
Whitney Farmer’s rooftop Christmas!
Best Christmas party:
All of DC Comic’s parties in the late 80’s ( when I was 6) and early 90’s. Of course this was before DC hated me.
Place I NEVER thought I would be on Christmas Eve:
Church. An ex-girlfriend made me go to Christmas Eve midnight services. I cried like a baby (remembering who and what was really important in my life) I loved it.
Martha Thomases
December 23, 2009 - 4:39 pm
Worst Christmas: When I stood in line to sit on Santa’s lap, and when he asked me what I wanted, I told him I was Jewish and ran away.
Reg
December 23, 2009 - 9:51 pm
What a great idea, Whitney! 😀
Best Christmas memory: My son had been pressing hard for a game controller..but I’d been very adamant about not buying what I called a brain drainer. Our family had the tradition of saving the opening of gifts until we’d all gathered for Christmas dinner at our grandmother’s. After all of the gifts had been exchanged and opened I could see the disappointment in his eyes…until I pulled another gift I’d hidden behind the sofa. After tearing off the wrapping paper he jumped out of his seat and ran thru the house yelling before coming back and almost knocking me over with a bear hug. The memory of seeing the Christmas joy in his eyes has never faded.
Alan Coil
December 23, 2009 - 10:14 pm
Worst Christmas — Getting 2 gifts…a pair of pants and a package of underwear….my first conscious realization of the word poor.
Best Christmas — can’t say I ever had one.
The plural of Christmas sounds like it should be Christmii.
Whitney Farmer
December 24, 2009 - 3:28 pm
MOTU —
I have nothing snarky to say about your first two paragraphs. But the worst thing for me to say would be nothing. So, here goes: I’m so sorry your family and you went through these tragedies.
Next paragraph: When exactly did you stop receiving toys…?
Next paragraph: Reason #67 why I love the City of Angels – A Rooftop Christmas…”have yourself a merry rooftop Christmas…let the sun shine bright…all our troubles will turn way cool and outta sight…”
Next paragrah: Who could hate you, MOTU? (spoken with the same intonation as Mrs. Claus on “Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer” when she says, “Eat, Papa! Who wants a skinny Santa?”
Next paragraph: Yep. Merry Christmas! God bless us! Everyone!
Whitney Farmer
December 24, 2009 - 3:31 pm
Martha –
I hope you don’t mind, but your comment was the topic of my extended family’s dinner conversation last night when we all met at a Chinese restaurant following a day of celebration preparations. You’ve already been woven into our tapestry…
Whitney Farmer
December 24, 2009 - 3:36 pm
Reg –
A perfect modern adaptation of Ralphie and his Red Rider BB gun in “A Christmas Story”! You bring out a brilliant point: Your greatest joy came from giving. And I love how your son received with utter enthusiasm. Plus he had the guts to ask straight. We should all act like this in all points more in life…
Whitney Farmer
December 24, 2009 - 3:44 pm
Alan –
I only recently learned that my family used to spend Sundays on the beach digging clams for chowder because we had to.
So, I’ll expand the question if you want to answer: What was your best day ever?
Thanks for the grammer input! If your word doesn’t exist, maybe it should. Language is a living thing. Even ‘humongous’ is in the dictionary now. That’s how I console myself when I publish a typo…
You can use this one, too, if you ever need it. Merry Christmas direct from me!
James
December 24, 2009 - 4:59 pm
Worst Christmas–for some reason, our family got talked into attending an old-school Episcopalian (I think it was…there was a lot of chanting and swinging of candles) Christmas morning service. The service itself was fine, albeit dull. It was the fact that afterwards, no one in our family had ever NOT cooked Christmas lunch/dinner, so we had no idea where to go to eat.
Best Christmas–most of them were awesome (it’s CHRISTMAS) but the best so far was the one when a million of our family members came over, ate and it was good.
Whitney
December 31, 2009 - 9:58 am
James —
Absolutely have to agree with you on the joy in clustering together. It’s like grapes: One alone is squished. A bunch becomes fine wine.
Belated Blessed Christmas to you, my Friend!