Be Our Guest, by Martha Thomases – Brilliant Disguise

January 30, 2010 Martha Thomases 2 Comments

For the last few months, I’ve been ghost-writing a book for one of the most powerful people in New York City you’ve never heard about.  He’s the maitre d’ at a midtown steakhouse that is crazy busy, crazy expensive, and mobbed with the kinds of movers and shakers you read about in Forbes, Fortune and the Wall Street Journal.

Since I eat very little meat, and I don’t really care if I’m sitting at a so-called “power table,” this is like a foreign country to me.  I’m not going to pay $65 for a piece of meat.  I’m not going to spend thousands of dollars on a bottle of wine.  And it hasn’t been my experience, in business or on dates, that someone else wants to spend that much money on me.

Naturally, I’m mesmerized.

Usually, I go up to the restaurant after the lunch crowd and before dinner, to talk to the maitre d’ about what he’s learned about people.  However, last week I went during the dinner rush on Thursday night, the busiest night of the week.  I thought that, by getting there before five o’clock, I was allowing myself plenty of time to settle in and observe.

I was wrong.

From 4:45 PM until after ten, when I went home, the place never let up.  People came for dinner before they went to the theater.  People came with clients.  People came with dates.  People came to hang out at the two bars, one upstairs and one downstairs.  People came in with reservations and people came in without reservations.  Those who didn’t have reservations were delighted to wait more than an hour for possibility of a chance of getting a table.

The clientele is overwhelmingly male.  A lot of these men work at banks or brokerages.  There are some sports stars, and even more sports executives, including owners and agents.  They dress well.  Their clothes look expensive, whether they are in suits or something more casual.

It was interesting to observe men like these in their natural habitat.  They were jovial.  Even when they were frustrated by a wait, they were polite and cooperative.  They did not behave crudely to the hostesses who took them to their tables, women who are young and pretty and know how to walk in high heels.

If I was the kind of woman who wanted to land a rich and powerful man, I’d be hanging out at the bar.  I would probably be ignored, because I’m almost the exact opposite of those afore-mentioned hostesses, but I’d feel like I was in the game.

It was amazing to watch the maitre d’ at work.  He had reservations for nearly 700 people that night, between five o’clock and 9:30.  He had a smile on his face for every person who walked in the door.  He remembered everyone’s name.  He never raised his voice, even when people were obnoxious or difficult.

So far, in our meetings, we haven’t talked politics.  We haven’t talked religion.  We haven’t even talked about what kinds of movies we like.  We talk about the business of hospitality, and being hospitable at business.

He hasn’t said this yet, but I think we share some important values, which we’ve come to believe because of our disparate experiences.  For example, if you treat people the way you’d like to be treated, you’ll have a better experience.  If you plan ahead, your evening will go more smoothly.  Kindness breeds success.

Oh, and don’t forget to tip your server!

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Media Goddess Martha Thomases turned in this column early because of deadline issues, so she doesn’t yet know what was in the State of the Union address nor the Republican response.  For this, she is profoundly grateful.