Love Is In The Air, by Martha Thomases – Brilliant Disguise

February 13, 2010 Martha Thomases 0 Comments

Ah, Valentines Day!  A mid-winter oasis of lace and velvet, sex and chocolate!  An occasion for single people to feel lonely and for couples to feel inadequate!  A gold rush for greeting card companies and lingerie stores!

It’s also an opportunity for your humble columnist to phone in a column.  I could go on automatic pilot, describing my wonderful husband, my perfect marriage and my beloved extended family.

But I love you too much, Constant Readers, and so I won’t.

Don’t misunderstand.  I do love my husband, my son, my father, my sisters, my nieces and nephews, cousins, cat etc.  I would hope that they know this.  All too often, however, when people try to write about those they love, the tone ends up more self-congratulatory and self-righteous than loving.  While it might be true that I’m better and further evolved than you, I will refrain from rubbing your noses in it.

Let us talk, instead, of things that anyone – even in the middle of winter – can love.

• Pomegranates. One of my favorite fruits is fashionable these days, since it is high in trendy anti-oxidants.  More to the point, it’s ripe, it’s red, it’s swollen with juice.  After you have one, you’ll need a cigarette.

• New York City, after the first snow. The East Coast has had a lot of snow this winter, but New York has had hardly any.  This is a shame, because the city is quite beautiful the day after a blizzard.  Sure, soon it will be sooty and gross.  There will be piles of filthy snow at the crosswalks and people will let their dogs shit in it and won’t pick up after them, and the shit will freeze and then melt and then re-freeze.  Don’t think about that.  Think about the pure.  Clean, white, quiet, each twig on every tree outlined – it’s like an etching you get to walk through.

• Little kids in snowsuits. Almost as much fun as being a little kid in a snowsuit yourself, it’s hilarious to watch them.  They are often wider than they are tall.  They toddle.  If Chicago, that Toddlin’ Town, was actually filled with little kids in snowsuits, I would like it more.

• Spring bulbs. Sure, it’s more than two months (probably) until we get blossoms, but we’ve already seen the first green shoots from tulips, daffodils, crocuses, etc.  In the cold, dark of winter, they push through the frozen ground, towards the warmth of the sun.  Almost as sexy as pomegranates.

• TCM 3 Days of Oscar. If it’s dark and cold outside, there is hardly anything more wonderful than watching great old movies while sitting in a comfy chair, sipping on a brandy, maybe knitting, surrounded by your favorite mammals.

• Sleep. It’s much more wonderful to wake up, all warm on toasty under your blanket, on a cold morning than it is to wake up, all warm and toasty under your blanket, on a hot summer day when you’re already sweaty.

• Thighs. I’m thrilled and delighted to have legs that work all year long.  However, I especially enjoy it in the winter, when the big muscles at the front of my legs keep me from slipping on the ice.  At least, they have so far.

And, last but not least, the thing I love most in the winter is ….

• Skin! It’s warm to the touch!  Mine feels good, and yours feels better.

Martha Thomases, Media Goddess, is looking for chocolate-covered cherries for her Valentine.