We The STUPID People…, by Michael Davis – Straight No Chaser #154
February 12, 2010 Michael Davis 24 Comments
John Mayer was just being honest when he answered a question about Black women in his recent Playboy Interview:
“I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.”
He told the truth, he’s not interested in screwing Black women but in his answer just a few words later he said he would start. Now people are losing their minds because he comes across as racist. He CLEARLY said he was being stupid and would now start to look at people for who they are not what his dick tells him.
Sigh.
America the land that I love is full of stupid short- sided people. There’s a billboard of George W. Bush in Minnesota asking the question ‘Miss me yet?”
Sigh.
President Obama is taking a massive amount of heat because of his domestic polices. Healthcare, Bailouts, Gay Rights, etc, etc…
The right has called this socialism. The right has attacked him and every move he makes. George Bush started TWO W A R S because of lies. Obama and the Democrats are about to lose a slew of seats because people are so stupid they believe that trying to help their fellow Americans is now WROST than starting T W O W A R S where thousands of American service people D I E D because of a lie.
My sister Sharon died because she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. That’s FUCKED UP but what would have been worst is if she was there because someone lied and continued to lie even after they knew that Sharon was in danger. How FUCKED up is that? I love Black women, shit I love all women. I’m trying to think of a type that does not appeal to me…got it!
I’m not attracted to Hobbit women.
No, now that I think about it, Hobbit women are hot, I’d hit that.
“Who’s your Bilbo?”
“Who’s your Bilbo?
Answer me you hairy feet little BAC-TCH!”
Hobbit women. Oh yeah.
Now- if I said I prefer Asian women to Black women…OH NO!!! HORROR!!! BAD MOTU BAD!!!
Truth is I prefer nice women…who are Asian.
Or Black women…if she was Asian…and a Hobbit.
How much you want to bet I get angry response from a black woman who won’t get the joke?
I’ve never brought a John Mayer album in my life; I have no idea what’s the big deal about this guy. From what I’ve heard he’s no John Lennon, or John Cougar Mellencamp, or John The Baptist. He was a just a guy being honest and trying to be clever. Honest he was clever he was not. Racist? No.
Who gives a fuck if he’s not into Black women? Elton John likes dick, I still like his music. I could give a flying penis what he’s attracted to.
Minnesota’s right wing idiots putting up a George Bush Billboard?
Fuck them. The only thing good about Minnesota is Mary Tyler Moore, Kevin McCarthy and his wife.
How does the pimp think the whore is going to earn with a black eye? They don’t care, they just want to make sure the whore suffers and know who’s calling the shots. They rule with fear and scare tactics and could give a shit about the whore as long as they protect their image.
America has the attention span of a pimp. Everything’s good until you show up without the money, then you get a black eye or a Black President who’s attacked because of his desire to help people get a break.
Do I think Obama is wrong on some things?
Yes.
Do I miss George Bush?
Like I would miss a bullet to my balls.
TWO wars people. Thousands of people DEAD. Because of a LIE.
I have a HORRIBLE memory but I remember that.
Doug Abramson
February 12, 2010 - 3:45 am
Mr. Davis,
The vast majority of the American public has always been stupid.The real problem is with the 25hr news cycle, multiple news channels (or in Fox News’ case, “news” channels)and the Internet; they think that their opinion counts. As for the billboard of Dummy,I keep praying that some tagger will climb up there and spray paint HELL NO! on the damn thing.
Martha Thomases
February 12, 2010 - 7:01 am
Minnesota actually has a long tradition of progressive politics (Al Franken, Paul Wellstone, Gene McCarthy etc.). I expect some native artist to spray paint a big “No” on that billboard as soon as the snow clears.
Mike Gold
February 12, 2010 - 7:34 am
I love Minneapolis, and much of America’s best bacon comes from the southeastern corner of the state.
In addition to Martha’s list, great Americans from Minnesota include Prince, William Douglas, Bob Dylan, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Garrison Keillor, Sinclair Lewis, Jessie Ventura, and Charles Schulz. Yeah, Jessie Ventura. I might not agree with all his politics, but he had the balls to fight the Political System.
As for stupid billboards, I’ve seen a lot of ’em over the years, all over the nation except in the most urban and urbane of cities. It has long been a favored method for right wing lunatics, particularly the religious right. Every one seemed like a waste of money to me. You’re going to drive by the “Miss Me” billboard and think “Yeah, I was wrong about W.”
Sure. If that were the case, we’d all be using Burma Shave today.
However… W’s only one war up on Obama.
Chris Gumprich
February 12, 2010 - 7:39 am
Minnesota also elected Jesse “The Body” Ventura as governor.
I had heard that the Bush billboard was actually the work of Obama supporters trying to point out that things were much worse under Bush. If so, they need to take a basic marketing course because their message is lost.
Vinnie Bartilucci
February 12, 2010 - 9:49 am
John Mayer’s mortal sin was not in having and espousing preferences in whom he wets his dick, but in his use of The Word. The Big One. The Queen Mary of racial slurs, the N-dash-dash-dash-dash-dash word. The word that America (with the kind assistance of the educating media) has decided that a white guy cannot use in conversation, regardless of context, intent, or which Richard Pryor album he is discussing.
All the articles discussing the interview talk about the use of The Word, and almost none about his statement that he doesn’t care for black women. His professed admission that he prefers one type of woman over another is LESS important than the fact that he used a word. This is how bollixed-up our communal mindset is in this country. Use of the right (or wrong) words are far more important than the thoughts connected to said words. With the right buzzwords, you can say anything you like in this country, or take down anyone you like in this country with the same phrase; “We know what he REALLY means”. Well, no, likely you don’t, because you’re more worried about the words than you are the ideas.
We have lots of other words we have declared safe for referring to our black and brown bretheren. “Urban Demographic”, “Hip-hop culture”, “Gangsta Lifestyle”, and plenty more. People, especially people trying to part you from your money, still happily think of and refer to black folks as a separate culture and people, who must be spoken to differently and treated differently. They’ll give lots of explanations as to why this is so, but ultimately, it’s as if they’re dealing with writing their commercials for a foreign nation. It’s all a part of the fact that in this country, we don’t fix problems, we just rename them.
The advice “choose your words carefully” has become far more valuable over the last bunch of years.
Martha Thomases
February 12, 2010 - 10:10 am
@Vinnie: I’m kind of fond of George Orwell, and strongly recommend his “Politics and the English Language” (which you can find here: http://www.orwell.ru/library/essays/politics/english/e_polit)/ The words you choose DO matter. This is not to say that any word is good or evil by itself (or should be banned), but rather that your choice reveals things about your thoughts. John Mayer, by choosing to use that word, told us something about himself.
Which, oddly enough, is usually at least part of the point of an interview.
Mike Gold
February 12, 2010 - 10:49 am
Ever read Dick Gregory’s autobiography? If you haven’t, well, it’s brilliant. It’s called the Word That Dare Not Fart Its Name. Good luck asking for it by name at your local library.
You know, the same library where the liberals tried to remove the greatest American novel, Huckleberry Finn. Not all book-burners hide behind the cross or the swastika.
Words are meaningless without context. If you were to completely remove the Word That Dare Not Fart Its Name from the lexicon — no books, no speech, no nothing — you will not have altered racism in America one iota. Not now, not the next generation, not the one after that.
But a lot of liberals will feel a LOT better. Might even make up for their Prius being recalled.
I’m going to eat up some of MOTU’s broadband by reprinting the transcript of my favorite Paul Mooney routine. It was broadcast on Saturday Night Live back in 1975; IT WOULD NOT BE FIRST-RUN TODAY. The interviewer was played by Chevy Chase; Mr. Wilson was played by Richard Pryor
Interviewer: Alright, Mr. Wilson, you’ve done just fine on the Rorshact.. your papers are in good order.. your file’s fine.. no difficulties with your motor skills.. And I think you’re probably ready for this job. We’ve got one more psychological test we always do here. It’s just a Word Association. I’ll throw you out a few words – anything that comes to your mind, just throw back at me, okay? It’s kind of an arbitrary thing. Like, if I say “dog”, you’d say..?
Mr. Wilson: “Tree”.
Interviewer: “Tree”. [ nods head, prepares the test papers ] “Dog”.
Mr. Wilson: “Tree”.
Interviewer: “Fast”.
Mr. Wilson: “Slow”.
Interviewer: “Rain”.
Mr. Wilson: “Snow”.
Interviewer: “White”.
Mr. Wilson: “Black”.
Interviewer: “Bean”.
Mr. Wilson: “Pod”.
Interviewer: [ casually ] “Negro”.
Mr. Wilson: “Whitey”.
Interviewer: “Tarbaby”.
Mr. Wilson: [ silent, sure he didn’t hear what he thinks he heard ] What’d you say?
Interviewer: [ repeating ] “Tarbaby”.
Mr. Wilson: “Ofay”.
Interviewer: “Colored”.
Mr. Wilson: “Redneck”.
Interviewer: “Junglebunny”.
Mr. Wilson: [ starting to get angry ] “Peckerwood!”
Interviewer: “Burrhead”.
Mr. Wilson: [ defensive ] “Cracker!”
Interviewer: [ aggressive ] “Spearchucker”.
Mr. Wilson: “White trash!”
Interviewer: “Jungle Bunny!”
Mr. Wilson: [ upset ] “Honky!”
Interviewer: “Spade!
Mr. Wilson: [ really upset ] “Honky Honky!”
Interviewer: [ relentless ] “Nigger!”
Mr. Wilson: [ immediate ] “Dead honky!” [ face starts to flinch ]
Interviewer: [ quickly wraps the interview up ] Okay, Mr. Wilson, I think you’re qualified for this job. How about a starting salary of $5,000?
Mr. Wilson: Your momma!
Interviewer: [ fumbling ] Uh.. $7,500 a year?
Mr. Wilson: Your grandmomma!
Interviewer: [ desperate ] $15,000, Mr. Wilson. You’ll be the highest paid janitor in America. Just, don’t.. don’t hurt me, please..
Mr. Wilson: Okay.
Interviewer: [ relieved ] Okay.
Mr. Wilson: You want me to start now?
Interviewer: Oh, no, no.. that’s alright. I’ll clean all this up. Take a couple of weeks off, you look tired.
[ fade to black ]
Yep, buried in the routine — and it’s the crux of the routing — is the fact that Wilson was interviewing for a janitor job. So now he’s not a nigger, but he is a janitor. Awesome.
McCarthy
February 12, 2010 - 11:00 am
We stay in Milwaukee these days, but I appreciate the sentiment.
MOTU
February 12, 2010 - 11:12 am
G O L D, DID YOU SAY “JANITOR?”
Mike Gold
February 12, 2010 - 11:38 am
No, Paul Mooney did. It seems to me that people (at least white people) forget that part of the routine.
Vinnie Bartilucci
February 12, 2010 - 11:46 am
I had no idea Paul Mooney wrote that sketch. An amazing man, with a very unique voice. He’s been making some amazing appearences on Opie and Anthony lately, and ripping UP the place. His role in Bamboozled was awesome. An underappreciated talent.
MOTU
February 12, 2010 - 11:53 am
Vinnie,
He’s not well known to the general public but EVERY black comedian and the majority of the black community knows Paul.
I met him while I was the head writer on The Tom Joyner TV show. There are few people I would be afraid to ‘battle’ with-he’s at the very top of that list.
Reg
February 12, 2010 - 12:31 pm
Mike,
Thanks for showing the love to brothers Gregory and Mooney. Both are national treasures…and true geniuses.
Here’s the classic clip. The progression is a work of art.
😀 :- 😀
http://www.videosift.com/video/Richard-Pryor-Dead-Honkey
Alan Coil
February 12, 2010 - 1:04 pm
Small town conservative — that’s how the public is brainwashed.
This column reminded me of when I was in the 5th grade. It was a small school district about 20 miles south of Detroit, circa 1962. When we went to recess, there was a billboard, or a very large building, that could be seen from the playground. On the billboard, or side of the building, was an advertisement inviting people to join the John Birch Society.
Convert then when they are young, and you’ll have them for life.
Except that I fooled them, and grew up to become a flaming liberal/fierce progressive/Obama Socialist. 😉
Reg
February 12, 2010 - 3:36 pm
Chris implied that the billboard could in actuality be a work. I can see that being the case by the goofy/clueless picture of W that was chosen. But if so, I totally agree it’s an advert fail. On second thought, that’s true in ether case.
Vinnie and Mike – In truth..I hope *that* word does indeed die one day. But I’m not holding my breath. Mooney apparently renounced using the word in his acts… (a surprisingly looooong time after Richard did by the way). I have a theory that the suits in the ivory towers actually pay the ‘gangsta rappers’ a per diem rate on how many times they use it.
Mike – Yep.. Obama’s still got a war going on. But it’s exceedingly hard to rein in Ares once the hounds of war are released.
Mike Gold
February 12, 2010 - 4:43 pm
Reg — Yep; that’s true. I’m particularly pissy about the Afghan war right now because Operation Moshtarak started today (Saturday, Afghan time), several weeks after reports that the Taliban had left the invasion target. That’ll win hearts and minds, and what we don’t get here in America is that this is a war of hearts and minds, period.
Vinnie Bartilucci
February 12, 2010 - 5:42 pm
“EVERY black comedian and the majority of the black community knows Paul.”
There are SO many black comedians who are all but forgotten today, and it’s DAMN shame.
I’ve mentioned it before, but there was a fabulous dec about Black comedy and the Chitlin’ Circuit I saw a while back – I should see if it shows up this month.
My mom had an 8-track tape (look it up) of classic Big Band music, and it had one of the several recordings of “Open the Door Richard”. One of the original “One sided conversation” bits.
Reg
February 12, 2010 - 5:47 pm
Mike – it may be that on the ground intel have indicated that Taliban pockets (fairly likely)remain in the area.
If that’s the case, the hounds go in. And whereas I agree that it is a war of hearts and minds, I’m of the opinion that it’s a futile one. The cultural blood ties in that region run too deep.
You won’t see any Hmong and Montenard like alliances coming out of that land.
Reg
February 12, 2010 - 8:52 pm
p.s. Mike…of course I meant that Ares’ funding stream would be harder to rein in than his operational ones.
Bytowner
February 14, 2010 - 6:26 am
How can we miss Bush II if his worst after-effects refuse to fade away?
Reg
February 14, 2010 - 3:02 pm
By the way… Darth Cheder has opined that we really *should* be missing Bush…and that President Obama should give profuse thanks to him for ….
“Former Vice President Dick Cheney, in an exclusive appearance on ABC News’ “This Week,” offered a sharp critique of the Obama administration’s handling of national security and the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, saying any achievements over the past year largely stemmed from policies implemented under President George W. Bush.
“If [the administration is] going to take credit for [Iraq’s success], fair enough … but it ought to come with a healthy dose of ‘Thank you, George Bush’ up front and a recognition that some of their early recommendations with respect to prosecuting that war were just dead wrong,” Cheney told ABC News’ Jonathan Karl. ”
The little fact that George (puppeteered by Darth of course) embroiled us into these insanely destructive wars based on lies and greed was surprisingly missing from the diatribe.
Go figure.
Mike Gold
February 14, 2010 - 3:06 pm
When I was a small kid, I got hit square in the nuts with a baseball. The pain was amazing.
It’s a lot like listening to Dick Cheney today.
MOTU
February 14, 2010 - 6:21 pm
Bytowner said,
“How can we miss Bush II if his worst after-effects refuse to fade away?”
Because unlike you there are some people who are compelled to forget anything that makes you THINK. Not to long ago Tylenol was killing people because cases were tampered with. Nobody makes that an issue anymore-BUT-if it happens again there will be global OUTRAGE and the headlines will scream “HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN AGAIN?” Most people will think “Again?…duh.”
If you wait long enough no stupid or dangerous act will make any difference as long as people are comfortable.
Welcome to the forum BTW.
Mike Gold
February 15, 2010 - 7:46 am
You know, youngster, the Tylenol thing was 25 years ago. And it did happen a second time. Now, if they started spraying marijuana with paraquat again…