Don’t Let Us Get Sick, by Martha Thomases – Brilliant Disguise

May 21, 2010 Martha Thomases 2 Comments

The debate over health care reform has been off the news lately, but it’s been front page stuff in my house.  My COBRA plan runs out at the end of this month, and I’ve been going through the hell that is finding a plan that covers the self-employed.

It shouldn’t be this complicated.  My husband and I are both in excellent health (knock wood).  We own our home, with a paid-off mortgage.  I have an independent income high enough to pay the premiums.  Really, I’m luckier than most Americans.  According to those who defend the free market above all else, I should be an attractive customer.

Ya think?

According to the nice man who has been trying to sell me insurance, it doesn’t work like that.  I have to be employed.  If I’m a freelancer  (which I am), I have to show that I made money last year.  It doesn’t have to be a living wage.  It just has to be money paid to me (and reported on my taxes) from another person or corporation.

The problem is, I didn’t make any money like that last year.  I worked a freelance job for a company, but haven’t been paid yet (hey, things are tough all over).  To the insurance companies, that doesn’t count.   Neither do the thousands of hours I’ve spent on writing projects that may pay off in the future, but haven’t yet.

Luckily, my husband was hideously exploited by a publisher who paid him about fifty cents an hour to manage a community newspaper.  That’s a job the insurance company could respect.

Why do I have to have a job to get health insurance, even when I will be paying the entire premium?  According to my sales guy, the insurance companies figure that people without employers use more medical services.  Maybe they think my idea of a good time is scheduling lots of doctors’ appointments, just so I can stick them with the bill.  Perhaps that is true in some parts of the country, but here in New York, we have lots of other free and inexpensive things to do here, including (but not limited to)

• making fun of tourists – their clothes, their shoes, their need to eat at the Olive Garden

• standing in the doorways of subway cars to prevent other commuters from getting in or out

• arguing about why our favorite – restaurant, coffee place, synagogue, whatever – is better than your favorite.

I know there is a segment of the population that believes the free market is the cure for everything that ails us, and government is always wrong.  I would offer this as an example of why that’s not true.  My father, who lives in South Florida, receives excellent medical care through two government programs, Medicare and the Veterans Administration.  Somehow, his doctors are still able to buy fine foreign cars, live in big houses and play as much golf as they like.

(As a further example, I would suggest that unregulated industry tends to leak millions of gallons of oil into the ocean.  But that’s another column.)

Media Goddess Martha Thomases is kind of embarrassed about how much she’s looking forward to watching Liam Neeson play George Peppard in The A-Team.