That’s Oil, Folks!, by Mike Gold – Brainiac On Banjo #174

June 14, 2010 Mike Gold 0 Comments

I never realized we had so many oil-drilling experts in this country. Just about everybody has an opinion on who’s at fault and what the villains should be doing about cleaning up the mess.

We have been repeatedly told we’re entitled to our opinion; this, of course, is bull. Morally and ethically, you’re only entitled to an informed opinion. If you don’t know what you’re talking about, your so-called opinion is worthless.

The fact is, we don’t have very many facts. That’s the problem with the situation: we’ve had plenty of such accidents in comparatively shallow waters, but never one that was 5,000 feet below the surface. Here are among the very few things we do know about the situation in the Gulf of Mexico.

BP is a bunch of criminal liars. And I’m not just talking about little lies: to say they’ve been simply lying is like saying Joseph Goebbels didn’t particularly care for Jews and Gypsies. They have been lying about how much oil has been spilled. They’ve been lying about the safety of their apparatus. They’ve been lying about their preparedness. For almost two months they withheld the feed from their HDTV camera, which would have revealed how BP was lying about the quantity of the spill in the first place.

BP may very well be the only player who might have a clue as to how to fix the mess, although they’ve been woefully unsuccessful thus far. I have no doubt they’ve been seeking and getting advice from legitimate experts, even if they passed on help from James Cameron.

The government is not in the oil recovery business. Do you really want limited government, Mr. and Mrs. Tea Bagger? Then stop blaming Barack Obama for not making things right. If our government had running the oil business, that would be communism. If our government was still being run by the oil interests, that would be fascism. Please advise Glenn Beck that there’s a difference.

Back in the period our government was still being run by the oil interests, we allowed the government agency that was supposed to oversee this sort of thing to become the paid party whores of the oil interests. The Minerals Management Service (MMS) was literally in bed with Big Oil, and they took gifts, alcohol and illegal drugs along with the sex. All this happened between 2002 and 2006. Stop blaming Obama, Republicans, and man up. This one’s on Bush and Cheney, and that’s a fact.

The clean-up is not going fast enough? Well, that’s obviously true, but what’s gurgled up to the surface is only a drop in the bucket compared to what’s still in that hole. If we do the wrong thing and burst the whole thing open, what’s happened thus far will seem like a walk down a tropic island beach. We need to be careful here, and I truly believe that all parties concerned, including both BP and the government, are doing all they can.

The problem is off-shore drilling, folks. Unless and until we can come up with a safe and reliable way to prevent such disasters plus workable back-up plans to immediately arrest these disasters, “drill baby drill” is a death sentence for us all.

Media metaphysician and www.ComicMix.com editor-in-Chief Mike Gold performs the weekly two-hour Weird Sounds Inside The Gold Mind ass-kicking bizarro music and blather radio show on The Point, www.getthepointradio.com, every Sunday at 7:00 PM Eastern, replayed three times during the week (check the website above for times). Likewise, his Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind political and cultural rants pop up each and every day at the same venue.