MICHAEL DAVIS WORLD

You can't make this stuff up, so we don't!

Help Me, by Michael Davis – Straight No Chaser #174

July 2, 2010 Michael Davis 1 Comment

I have nothing to say. Zip. I’m so mad at a situation I don’t trust myself to write about it. You have no idea how mad that is. This from a guy who while in college I was told by my boss “If you say one more word, you are fired!”

I said “Word.”

I really needed that job.

I’m trying my best NOT to tell the world just how much of an ASSHOLE, I’m dealing with. Why am I dealing with this asshole? Believe it or not some real good can come out of this deal. When I say ‘real good’ I mean ‘real good’ not ‘real money’ but the kind of good that will help some people.

So because of that, I will bite my tongue and talk about something, anything that will prevent me from telling these people to suck my mother fucking…happy thoughts, I’m thinking happy thoughts!

So, MDW community help me, help…me.

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  2. Elayne Riggs
    July 2, 2010 - 8:18 am

    Cute baby animals falling asleep.

    Cute baby animals falling asleep.

    Cute baby animals falling asleep.

    Cute baby animals falling asleep.

    Cute baby animals falling asleep.

    Hope that helps.

  3. Jonathan (the other one)
    July 2, 2010 - 11:00 am

    I’d like to recommend one of my favorite meditative exercises.

    Imagine yourself in a mountain meadow. The sky is blue; a gentle breeze ruffles the grass.

    A stream burbles through the meadow, spreading out into a beautiful pool of clear, still water.

    The water is so very still and so very clear that you can easily make out the expression on the face of the person whose head you’re holding under the water.

    There now – don’t you feel better already?

  4. McCarthy
    July 2, 2010 - 11:28 am

    Special Instructions “REMOVAL OF BOOTS”

    Pick up G.I. JOE and place in palm of left hand with toes up and head toward you. Grasp toe of boot between thumb and first finger of right hand and place second finger behind heel.

    POINT TOE DOWN. Pull down and away and boot will slide off foot.

    In order to protect the leg member against an extreme pull, it is normal for the foot to come out of the leg. It is easily re-inserted by pushing the foot on the leg.

  5. MOTU
    July 2, 2010 - 12:32 pm

    Elayne,

    “Cute baby animals falling asleep?”

    “CUTE baby animals falling asleep??????”

    You know I love you but, CUTE baby animals falling asleep.???????’

    Wait a sec…hey…you may have something there…

  6. MOTU
    July 2, 2010 - 12:35 pm

    Jonathan,

    Before I get to the person causing me issues can I imagine it’s a cute little animal I’m holding under the beautiful pool of clear, still water?

    Ahhhhhhhhhhh….serenity now.

  7. MOTU
    July 2, 2010 - 12:38 pm

    McCarthy,

    In this state I don’t DARE hold a precious Joe in my hand. They would surly end up smashed on the floor…this is a job for Barbie’s shoes.Those suckers NEVER stay on and Barbie’s plastic won’t shatter!

  8. MOTU
    July 2, 2010 - 12:39 pm

    You know, I REALLY do feel better!

  9. Fluffy
    July 2, 2010 - 12:40 pm

    I don’t feel safe here any more…

  10. Martha Thomases
    July 2, 2010 - 1:52 pm

    Med shelp.

  11. Marc Fishman
    July 2, 2010 - 5:03 pm

    I got you some good thoughts MOTU: At Wizard World Chicago, Kathy, my hot wife, is dressing up. Twice.

  12. Mike Gold
    July 2, 2010 - 5:09 pm

    Marc — you got details? Adriane’s trying to get me to WizzyWord Chicago, but I usually regard that show as a waste of a good trip home.

  13. Fluffy
    July 2, 2010 - 5:12 pm

    Wizzyword?

    THAT’S funny.

  14. pennie
    July 3, 2010 - 2:59 pm

    MOTU, you’re sitting on the outdoor portico of cantina on the glass calm Pacific,somewhere near the Guatemalan border in the covered shade surrounded by lovely, lithe latinas…er Asian temptresses, adorned with bikini coverlets but they neglected to lace on the swimwear. You’re sipping 100-year aged mezcal with an icy Carta Blanca Negra chaser. Your magical MOTU power permits you to conjure and suddenly the pendajo is right there–the worm in the bottle. He wriggles and writhes while you grin and splash away…your adoring girls giggle while you toast in glee.

  15. MOTU
    July 3, 2010 - 3:37 pm

    Pennie,

    Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

  16. 15 year old
    July 6, 2010 - 9:22 pm

    word. and lots of words. followed by lots of love and support from strange ninja geishas effortlessly quoting dr. thompson.

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