Black Nanny, by Michael Davis – Straight No Chaser #185

September 17, 2010 Michael Davis 0 Comments

I watch very few things on TV. Even stuff I’ve written for TV I don’t watch.
In my home I have a separate office for writing and a studio for art. When I write I listen to Jazz or standards.  When I’m in my studio I can listen to any kind of music or I’ll watch a movie but no TV shows. I’m a sucker for chick flicks, I’ve said it a zillion times my favorite movie, bar none is ‘My Best friends Wedding’ I know that movie so well it’s scary.

However in my studio I can’t watch ‘chick flicks’ I have to watch grand epics, like Ben Hur, Star Wars, Superman The Movie, The Dark Knight, Titanic or Gone with the wind (which I watch buzzed on Tequila while screaming, ‘Who the fuck you calling Darkie Clark Cable? You know what RHETT? This darkie is still alive motherfucker! How YOU living? Oh, you’re not…my bad…bitch.”

I really wish I didn’t like that movie so much but it’s SO Bad-Ass.

One day I’ll share with the MDW family the time Denys Cowan and I went to Radio City Music Hall to see a Gone with the wind re-release and the ‘fun’ we had with the audience. Here’s a hint, I doubt one middle age white guy will shout, “Those were the good old days” ever again during a slave era movie before checking to see if there are any ‘darkies’ in the auditorium.

Denys, remember the look on his face when we stood up and said, “Where the white women at?”

Ahhhhh, good times.

So, no TV for me.

I know, I know, you are asking yourself, Motu, what about your beloved ‘All My Children?’  I’ve watched that show for well over 25 years (been watching since I was minus 1 Jean) but have NOT watched it in over a year. It’s gotten SO DAMN bad that I realized one day that I just could not take it anymore. Last week I was talking to the actor who plays Jessie Hubbard and had to resist the urge to just grab him and yell “ WTF IS WRONG WITH YOUR WRITERS NEGRO??”

Tatiana was at the meeting and stopped me with a well-placed whisper “You’re scaring him Michael…”

But (sorry Peter) I digress…

To recap, I don’t watch much TV. I can’t write unless I’m listening to Jazz. I can listen to any music in my studio and white people should avoid calling me Darkie.
So why the title Black Nanny?  Two reasons, the first is Jill Serrano who made me realized that I’m the only black guy who writes on my own website. The second is that black parents will pimp slap the crap out of any child who dares to disrespect them.

What do those two things have in common? Nothing. Zip. Nada.

I’m just pairing two random things together that have NOTHING to do with each other because they feature black people.

I know, I know, I’m just so deep.

OK, I’ve given three black writers a shot at MDW and all three have not worked out. Is it because they are black? Is it because they are unprofessional? Is it because they suck?

I really don’t give a shit. If something does not work out it simply does not work out.

Period.

I’m a simple guy. Color means nothing to me when it comes to anything except painting, THEN I give a fuck about color.

Besides, I like being the only black writer on MY site, it makes me HNIC.

Yeah, I said it.