All Hallow’s Breaking Loose, by Arthur Tebbel – Pop Art #99

October 26, 2010 Arthur Tebbel 0 Comments

Dear Art,
I need an idea for a Halloween costume.  Something that says, “I have no ideas so I asked an Internet comedy writer.”  You know something clever but unthreatening.
-Mara Frantzis, indecisive reveler

Mara,
I think I can help.  Here are a few ideas I think you can use.  I am assuming you have an unlimited budget and access to plenty of time.  If this isn’t the case maybe you should send this letter sooner than a week before Halloween next year.

– Political Campaign. This is a pretty easy one.  Get some old clothes, cover them in picture of candidates running in your local elections, and then cover your clothes in mud.  It looks like sharp political satire.  This costume won’t work if you have local elections that are completely about the issues with no mud slinging.  I mean if you live on an alien planet from a 60s sci-fi movie or something.

– Oil Spill. This one is probably going to be the go to for clever pseudo-topical types so be careful.  The best way to pull it off is probably going to involve depicting yourself as the bed of the Gulf of Mexico at the spot of the Deepwater Horizon platform.  A few tubes and a small can of oil and you can pour new oil on yourself periodically.  Be sure to leak oil on any seafood present at your Halloween party to symbolize the crippling affect of the spill on the American fishing industry.

– Schrödinger’s Cat. Costumes that are half one thing and half another are approaching passé but this provides a new twist on the idea.  Be a cat that is both dead and alive.  Don’t stop at just making half of a cat costume appear to be dead, you have to sell it with some acting.  Try to only be observed in profile and as people see one side of you or another feel free to collapse your wave function and act either alive or dead.  For bonus points tray and move between one and the other in one conversation through locative shifts.

– Haitian Earthquake. I don’t mean a depiction of the cataclysmic natural disaster from early in the year.  That would be insensitive.  I mean a Haitian incarnation of the late WWF wrestler.  The best thing about this is it works at almost any weight.  If you happen to be heavy then great you’ll look like the 400 pound wrestler; if you aren’t you can attribute it to the lack of nutrition in Haiti.  People will laugh; wordplay is often rewarded in these situations.  Be careful not to succumb to the temptation to do blackface.  People will not laugh at that.