Thanksgiving Junk, By Whitney Farmer – Un Pop Culture

November 24, 2010 Whitney Farmer 19 Comments

Whitney runs a rock music venue on the beach in L.A. She has an M.B.A., and is frequently asked to make her signature dressing for holiday dinners.

In a faux-thug threat heard throughout the airwaves, a nondescript prospective plane passenger warned a TSA employee on a set-up sound bit recorded on his cell phone against “touching my junk…”. The exchange was stunning for two reasons: First, that this guy has junk and even knows that term, and second that he would think it was interesting enough to incite a policy shift that could endanger the lives of the flying public.

The full-body scan technology has been available for a few years. That it has not been implemented on a broad scale sooner is unfortunate because it expedites the security screening procedure which then requires extra staffing, pressured schedules, missed flights, and reduced productivity. The controversy surrounding this and the patdown option is rooted in an imagined and exalted view of individual body images and a sense of entitlement in the American public which ultimately can make us more at risk of terrorist attacks.

I encountered my first patdown search in 1985. I was flying from London to Seattle and it was my fault. I developed a snotty attitude when the guards insisted on putting photography equipment through more extensive screening — eventhough there were some recent terrorist incidents that had put everyone on edge. Back in those days, there was something called “film” that would capture images from a camera and allow one to remember places that you have visited. I hadn’t had enough time to have my last batch developed before I was returning home, and I was concerned that it would get ruined as a result of the screening. Rather than conveying my concerns, I became snotty, rolling my eyes and getting sarcastic. What happened next shut me up and taught me a lesson. I can’t fault them. In their place, I would have done the same thing.

Those who work in health care understand that everyone pretty much packs the same gear. The universality of the human body blessedly makes the individual characteristics uninteresting enough to be insignificant in a work environment. What becomes worthy of comment are only those issues that arise that affect job performance or execution. We regularly do patdowns at the club. People can say yes and gain entry, or say no and try to find something more interesting to do that night somewhere else rather than come in our door. The ONLY problems we have had are backaches when our 6’5″ guards have to bend down hundreds of times to make sure that ordinary shrimps aren’t carrying something to even out the odds in a fight. Big John has a three part procedure: He starts by bending low and resting his left elbow on his left knee before putting his right leg back in a lunge. Then he performs the task, and then unbends his body in the reverse procedure. At the end of the night, I have aspirin and ice packs available in quantity.

By all accounts, airline passengers are being astonishingly abusive to security staff who are being required to do a job that is meant to help keep the snots safe. They are speaking abusively, and threatening lawsuits as if travel is a right rather than a PRIVILEGE that is selected over other transportation choices. Recent interviews with passengers has shown that they prefer that people who don’t look ‘like them’ are selected out for special attention. Racial profiling is being heralded as a solution to this snot-perpetuated crisis.

Here is what is true:

Your junk isn’t interesting.

Security screenings can help create improved air travel safety.

You can choose not to fly.

The security personnel are being abused, making for a lousy Thanksgiving for them as they try to brush off curses that are thrown on them.

Protests over something that isn’t important can make travel less safe for the public.

Our enemies are probably laughing at us right now.

In conclusion: Get over yourself, get in line, and give thanks. I have a plane to catch…

Quote of the Blog from Ed, Dude of Light and Fog: “I might be Lebanese, too. My family was pretty indiscriminate.”