The Motu News Network, by Michael Davis – Straight No Chaser #193
November 12, 2010 Michael Davis 11 Comments
I’ve been wrong about Fox News.
They are not a right wing network pretending to be a news outlet. They ARE a news outlet. How do I know this for sure?
I saw it on TV.
Duh.
Well, I want to be a news outlet so since I have this on-line outlet I now deem myself a news outlet.
Welcome to the Motu News Outlet.
Really.
REALLY!
You read it on-line it must be true…duh.
Well since I’m a news outlet I’m going to need a catchy slogan like ‘Fair and balanced.’
Got it!
‘Because you will believe anything.’
The Motu News Network, because you will believe anything.
NICE!!!
Now I need a story that will put me on the map. Something that will scare people or have NO basis in fact like the whole ‘Death panel’ thing.
I know I’ll start with a hard-hitting editorial, which people who will believe anything will take as fact and not my opinion.
Porngate
Why won’t Mr. Beck and Mrs. Palin admit to never doing porn? What are they hiding? It will take a simple statement, a simple denial to put the question of rater or not they did porn to rest.
Since they have never admitted to NOT doing porn it’s fair to think they have done so. Why the secretly? Why the silence? Why don’t they answer the question that REAL Americans want to know? They have already admitted they are in favor of ‘Tea Bagging.’
Tea Bagging.
TEA BAGGING!!!
All REAL Americans know that a Tea Bagger is the term in porn that means you give or take a face full of someone’s BALLS in your mouth.
It goes without saying that if they are ‘Tea Baggers’ and that means taking balls in their mouth and such an act is done in porn then the logical conclusion is that both Palin and Beck have done porn.
Nasty ball tasting porn.
Tune in next week when I ask the question, ‘How do we know that GOP does not stand for Giant Old Pussy?’ We don’t! Why won’t someone in the leadership address that?
What do they have to hide? A giant old pussy?
Damn this news stuff is easy. I could get use to this.
McCarthy
November 12, 2010 - 12:41 pm
You can’t make this up, so we do!
Er . . . I mean, don’t!
You decide.
Etc.
Shado.
Mike Gold
November 12, 2010 - 2:11 pm
These people will tell you that the Left came up with the Tea Bagging reference. These people are lying through their pie-holes. History is very clear here.
Besides, their philosophies have absolutely NOTHING to do with the Boston tea party of 1773. That was about taxation without representation. In 2010, the Tea Baggers had representation; they just didn’t like it. And they sought to change it. And in many cases they were successful, although in many of the most visible races they failed: America did not elect the looniest of the loons, which is a good sign for both America and the Tea Baggers, whether they realize it or not.
However, America did REelect a few of the looniest of the loons.
pennie
November 12, 2010 - 5:59 pm
MOTU: Giant Old Pussy like Felix or Sylvester or The Cat in the Hat or Skeezix? They’re not young and they were larger than life.
Really, I like the MOTU Mews Network: It’s news to make you go bump in the night!
Reg
November 12, 2010 - 9:35 pm
mOTu, thank you SOOOO Much for providing the masses with
another relevant POV. However, if I may be so bold as to suggest
a small edit to your news slogan….” …Because You’re STOOPID.”
Doug Abramson
November 12, 2010 - 9:46 pm
OK MOTU, I’m with you on telling us what to think…I mean the “news Network”; but if you try to sell me a condo in the jungles of Guyana, I’m out.
MOTU
November 13, 2010 - 12:36 am
Reg,
You have a much better slogan, ‘The Motu News Network, because you’re stupid.’
MOTU
November 13, 2010 - 12:38 am
Doug,
I would NEVER try and sell you condos in the jungles of Guyana! I do however have a bridge in Brooklyn that’s for sale…
Doug Abramson
November 13, 2010 - 2:51 am
No you don’t. My Great Grandfather bought it when he got off the boat at Ellis Island. The City of New York owes me A LOT of past due lease payments.
MOTU
November 13, 2010 - 4:50 pm
Doug,
Did I say Brooklyn?
Noooooooo
I meant San Francisco!
DUH!
It’s real nice, golden even…with a gate.
Doug Abramson
November 13, 2010 - 9:08 pm
In that case, how much do you want for it?
MOTU
November 16, 2010 - 8:53 pm
24 bucks!
In cash!
Yeah, I know i drive a tough bargain.