The Craigslist Congressman, by Michael Davis – Straight, No Chaser #205
February 11, 2011 Michael Davis 18 Comments
What a fucking idiot.
Everyone at MDW knows I hate the GOP like a Tea Party member hates Hip-Hop.
I’ve had a pretty good week so far, I’ve finally hit my creative stride on a book project I’m doing. My mom was released from the hospital and is doing well. I found $20 bucks in the dryer and this pretty lady at Target recognized me from some BET interview I did years ago.
She was Asian!!!
Then, I get the gift that keeps on giving…another family value, GOP Congressman looking to cheat on his wife by going…on…wait for it…wait for it…
WAIT…
FOR…
IT…
CRAIGSLIST!!!
AND….
He’s posing shirtless!!
He’s flexing!!!
He’s a fucking idiot!
THANK YOU GOD!
THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!
This was the press release he issued not to long after the story broke…
For Immediate Release: Wednesday, February 9, 2010
Statement from Congressman Chris Lee (NY-26):
“It has been a tremendous honor to serve the people of Western New York. I regret the harm that my actions have caused my family, my staff and my constituents. I deeply and sincerely apologize to them all. I have made profound mistakes and I promise to work as hard as I can to seek their forgiveness.
“The challenges we face in Western New York and across the country are too serious for me to allow this distraction to continue, and so I am announcing that I have resigned my seat in Congress effective immediately.”
It just so happens I’ve found the original press release:
For Immediate Release: Wednesday, February 9, 2010
Statement from Congressman Chris Lee (NY-26):
I’m a very fit, fun classy guy. 6ft 190LBS Blond/Blue and I got caught looking for some action on the internet.
I regret getting caught and my actions have caused my family to be hurt, my staff to lose their jobs and my constituents, well frankly I didn’t spend a whole lot of time thinking about them. I deeply and sincerely apologize to them all for getting caught. Going on Craigslist was a profound mistake and because of that I got caught. I promise to work as hard as I can to not get caught when next I try and get some ass on the net.
I, like other members of the GOP believe in family values for everyone except us.
I will no longer tell others how to live a family value lifestyle while I troll for pussy on the net.
That was bad.
I will now check into some bullshit rehab center because…I got caught.
What’s REALLY funny to me is this guy thinks the press is going to stop looking into his background because he resigned.
HA!
I can’t WAIT for the other women to show up. Yes, I do find pleasure in this. I bet now he wishing that ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ applied to Congressmen.
As the famous poet Ice Cube has said, ‘Today is a good day!’
Doug Abramson
February 11, 2011 - 2:24 am
Wait. Your mom has been in the hospital? Why the hell have you been dealing with my dumb ass emails?
McCarthy
February 11, 2011 - 10:57 am
When ending his political career, I’d want MY congressman to at least use a more discreet website for this sort of thing. Like Ashley Madison, or LinkedIn.
MOTU
February 11, 2011 - 1:21 pm
Doug,
I have a PhD, I can multitask…as long as long as the tequila holds out. 😉
MOTU
February 11, 2011 - 1:29 pm
Kevin,
It’s my dream for Michele Bachmann to be exposed by a nasty sex tape in which she is servicing a German Shepard while high on meth.
An added bonus would be her screaming into the lens, ” I’m Michele Bachmann and I’m servicing this German Shepard while I’m high on meth motherfuckers!!”
Diane Joao
February 11, 2011 - 2:03 pm
Mad awesomeness! I too find pleasure in the holier-than-thouest gang getting their comeuppance. Glad to hear Mom’s doing okay. 🙂
carlos franco
February 11, 2011 - 2:04 pm
@mike lmao
Tony Isabella
February 11, 2011 - 2:20 pm
My dream is Michelle Bachmann dressed as Sailor Mars and begging me for more good liberal loving.
Or asking me for MOTU’s phone number.
Because, though my wife would probably understand I was taking one for the liberal team, I’d still feel bad about it.
Michael…much love to you and yours.
McCarthy
February 11, 2011 - 5:42 pm
I like how “Wanda Sykes” is the number one related post to this one.
pennie
February 11, 2011 - 6:02 pm
MOTU, Bruce Lee’s brother Chris was NOT trolling for pussy. He was on the down low. He was desperately seeking Stan Lee.
MOTU
February 11, 2011 - 7:46 pm
Tony,
I LOVE YOU MAN! Don’t forget this year, you, me, The Black Panel!
MOTU
February 11, 2011 - 10:09 pm
Pennie,
Double ugh.
Reg
February 12, 2011 - 1:01 am
Da mOTu said…”I’ve finally hit my creative stride…”
Yes. I’d say that you certainly have.
😀
MOTU
February 12, 2011 - 9:24 am
Reg,
Speaking of creative strides-email me the latest version of that project we talked about. I may have a hook up for you.
You did make the changes we talked about right?
You took out the parts about all the family value GOP representatives who get caught buying meth,looking for and/or having gay sex in bathrooms, paying for hookers,texting congressional page’s dirty sex talk, cheating on their wives by screwing some chick in another country while telling their office they were on a hunting trip, and the underage daughter of a family value, no sex before marriage,Vice Presidential candidate having a baby,right?
No one will believe that stuff.
Reg
February 12, 2011 - 9:46 am
Yes sir. I took to heart your instructions you gave that I can only take suspension of belief so far. I mean, what was I thinking?? People are smarter than that, right?
MOTU
February 12, 2011 - 3:38 pm
No.
Tony Isabella
February 13, 2011 - 10:10 am
I’d love to be on the panel, Michael, but neither the convention nor any publishers have offered to foot the bill. With two kids in college, I can’t swing the financial end of going to the convention. But I’ll be with you in spirit.
MOTU
February 13, 2011 - 9:07 pm
Tony,
Noooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!
Mike Gold
February 14, 2011 - 10:44 am
Have you ever met a German Shepard? Do you really think a German Shepard would fuck Michele Bachmann? Hell, I don’t think Chris Lee would fuck her on a bet. Even if he had been in prison for 10 years.
Maybe oral sex. ANYTHING to shut her up. And she’d make a lot of money off of the video — German Shepard getting blown by a congresswoman? For right-wingers, that’s the Avatar of porn!