Stop Being Idiots on Twitter!, by Arthur Tebbel – Pop Art #119

March 15, 2011 Arthur Tebbel 0 Comments

Dear Art,
Oh boy I might be in trouble.  This weekend I tweeted some insensitive jokes about the earthquake and subsequent tsunami that hit Northern Japan last week.  As a result of those tweets I have been fired as the spokesman for Aflac Insurance (I provided the voice of the duck in their commercials).  Was I wrong to make those jokes?  Am I going to miss the steady work from Aflac?
-Gilbert Gottfried

Gilbert,
I’m torn on this.  I really don’t believe in “too soon.”  I think a funny joke is a funny joke no matter when it’s made.  You’ve had this problem before.  You got booed at the Friar’s Club Roast after 9/11 for making the joke about the stopover in the Empire State Building.  Luckily for you that didn’t air and didn’t see the light of day until it was in The Aristocrats documentary some years later.  Everyone who’s ever tried to be funny has touched a nerve at one point or another; you just got caught in the wrong place with the wrong people controlling the purse strings.

I doubt you’ll miss the work.  Did you even need to go in to record you saying the same word over and over again?  If you were spending more than a week per year doing that job you were being terribly overworked.  I’m sure it paid well but if someone with your narrow skill set isn’t saving their money you deserve everything you get.  That said, you’re the only person in your particular niche and someone will want that sooner or later.  Until then keep doing stand-up, you’ll be fine.  It isn’t like you have absolutely nothing to fall back on.

Dear Art,
Oh boy I might be in trouble.  This weekend I suggested that the Japanese earthquake and subsequent tsunami was revenge from God for “the way they treated their own people in there (sic) own country” and later that it was revenge for Pearl Harbor.  After being confronted by my team I issued a public apology, which reaffirmed my belief that disasters happen for a reason and that God’s plan should not be questioned.  So far there has been no disciplinary action from the league.  Should I be worried?
Cappie Pondexter, Shooting Guard, New York Liberty, WNBA

Cappie,
There’s still a WNBA?  I had to spend a fair amount of time to figure out if you were a real person or if I was getting punked.  You seem to be quite an accomplished basketball player.  The thing that stuck out to me was that you were a standout player at Rutgers.  I say this because I can’t imagine someone as stupid as you got a college degree.  I’m reasonably sure in that first tweet you thought you were talking about China.  Japan has a constitution we wrote for them.

The Pearl Harbor thing has gone around the Internet a lot.  One particularly prolific tweet (as judged by retweeting) originated from a writer for Family Guy.  What an ignorant position to have about a country that has become one of our strongest allies.  A country that finances the second largest portion of our debt, seemingly out of loyalty.  I really wish you had taken a real history class at any point in your life instead of whatever track entitled student athletes get on at Rutgers.  I would say I hope the WNBA suspends you for some games but who knows how much longer that league will be up and running.  You should probably have fun while it lasts.