The Other Kind of Soap Opera Drama, by Arthur Tebbel – Pop Art #124

April 19, 2011 Arthur Tebbel 11 Comments

Dear Art,
The unthinkable happened last week.  ABC cancelled two of my beloved soap operas.  I refer, of course, to All My Children and One Life to Live two shows that have been on the air more than 40 years.  We’ve decided to take action.  Not like those chumps from shows like Veronica Mars and Roswell though, we’re going to all stop watching ABC (except for soaps) to show that they should not take our viewership for granted.  We’ve also got a way to hit them in the wallet.  Vacuum cleaner manufacturer Hoover has decided to join us and pull all ads from ABC starting this Friday to protest the cancellation.  How good do you think our chances are of saving these shows?
-Sha’Ron, Facebook protest leader

Sha’Ron,
I feel your pain; I’ve had a lot of television shows I love get cancelled.  You guys are missing something a lot of those other fan bases had: sought-after demographics.  I’m a white male aged 18-49.  Networks really care what I watch.  Soap Opera fans tend to be older and less desirable.  You might have to confront the horrifying truth that by boycotting ABC you might be making them more attractive to advertisers.

I guess advertisers except Hoover.  It’s odd to see an advertiser making a stand that big.  None of the coverage of this story I’ve been able to dig up has included the amount of advertising Hoover buys on ABC but how much could it possibly be?  You don’t think Lemon Pledge will step right in there to take that spot?  If Hoover really had some chutzpah they’d offer to pay to produce the show like sponsors did in the old days.  Hoover Presents All My Children would seem to solve everything.  But they won’t do that; they just want housewives thinking good thoughts about Hoover when they buy their next vacuum.

It’s never easy losing a television show.  People will often guess wrong at how many friends they have because of how many people they see on their televisions every day.  Losing someone that has been on that TV for the majority of your life must be like losing a number of old and dear friends.  To boycott ABC is probably cutting off your nose to spite your face.  If you had enough viewers to make a huge impact on the ratings your show wouldn’t have been cancelled to start with.  All you’re going to do is deny yourself Jeopardy every night.  Feel free to not watch the dirt-cheap talk shows that replace your soaps though.  Getting those cancelled would probably be the big coup you can pull.  Small steps.