Bitch Better Have My Money, by Michael Davis – Straight No Chaser #223

June 24, 2011 Michael Davis 0 Comments

I often wonder how some corporations with fat bankrolls oft times try and avoid paying people for what seems no good reason. I’ve worked for and with some pretty significant companies. Among them, Philips, PolyGram, Motown, Sony, Simon & Schuster, NBC, ABC, Fox, BET, Comicmix, Diamond Distributors, Marvel Comics, DC Comics, Dark Horse Entertainment, Showtime Networks, Smirnoff Vodka, Warner Bros, Nickelodeon, Image Comics, Archie Comics, Viacom, Cartoon Network and MTV.

I’ve done projects with or for The New Kids On The Block, Bill Duke, Tom Joyner, Luther Vandross, The Jackson’s, Michael Jackson, The OJays, Boys II Men, Magic Johnson, Ludacris, RZA, and a couple hundred other 5 star companies or groups that include Ad Agencies, car companies, Christian companies, Jewish companies, Black companies, Japanese companies, Korean companies, Latino companies, video companies, education companies, crazy companies, public companies, private companies, non-profit companies and pharmaceutical companies. I’ve worked with firms that deal with kids, teenagers, adults, seniors, schools, hospitals, and churches. I’ve produced product for the Army, Navy, Air Force and FBI.

YES-The New Kids On The Block. Screw you, those boys are STILL badass.

I’ve done business with Fortune 500 companies, one man companies, one woman companies, husband and wife companies, best friends who become hated enemies companies, start up, shut down, revamped, new ownership, previous ownership, questionable ownership and corporate taken over by other companies-companies.

On occasion, I’m been lucky enough to be given corporate gifts such as Playstations (1&2) a flat screen TV, a Peter Max painting, a Fossil Spider-Man watch (#3 out of a run of 1500 thank you Terry Stewart!) TWO (2) motorcycles, a one of a kind Yoda watch, a vintage typewriter and a VIP membership to 24 Hour Fitness…I never use.

I’ve seen executives plan ‘business’ trips to Europe towards the end of the fiscal year JUST so they can spend any remaining money left on their expense accounts.

I’ve been all over the world doing business for my own and other companies. I’ve started a few companies ran major divisions at other companies had budgets with millions and budgets with hundreds. I’ve made a million, lost a million, made and lost another million, lost my home, made a million brought another home, lost a million, been sued, sued, won a grip, paid a grip and needed to get a grip.

To those in the GOP-‘grip’ in the hood is slang for money. Not to be confused with ‘iron grip’ the term you use when describing how you will keep poor people from health care.

I’ve been to a party that cost 1 million dollars. 1 million dollars! I’ve given parties that have rented out entire HOT nightclubs with all the trimmings (food, valet, drinks, cabs for drunk people etc.) and the most I’ve ever signed off on was $25,000. So imagine a party that cost million dollars. For how many people? For my $25,000 party 200-300 guests. How many people for the $1 million dollar party? 200-300 people who got to drink Dom Perignon from fountains that everybody thought was flowing Ginger Ale.

Get this-the 1 million dollar party and my $25,000 party were both part of the same company and held at the same venue.

The examples above are way to long winded cases of what I have seen first hand how some corporations spend crazy amounts of money on such stupidity as a MILLION dollar party yet the same company will avoid paying a freelance artist a thousand dollars for designing the invites to the million dollar party.

You will be surprised if I told the businesses on the above list have used various means to avoid paying me or someone I know on or within a reasonable time.

I’ve had people who have worked for me wait weeks after submitting their invoice before they see a check from some of these corporate powerhouses. I would often write a personal check to cover the invoice then wait to be reimbursed from my parent company. There’s a well-known artist who owes me $5000.00 and has owed it to me for years. I wrote him a personal check. When his freelance check arrived he simply never paid me back.

A month or so ago I saw a cash flow issue coming for me and I almost avoided the fall out.

Almost.

I got everyone paid but I still have an outstanding invoice with two vendors. One vendor is like family the other was new. The new vendor blew an assignment but I was still paying him a kill fee, which is still outstanding.

I can’t go into why I’m having cash flow issues without putting myself at risk legally, but I can tell you what I’ve tried to do that hopefully will keep my relationship with my dear friend intact.

1. I’ve not dodged any calls. I don’t wait until he calls me to give him an update.

2. I’ve had other people involved in the matter reach out to each freelancer to update them as well as thank them for their patience.

3. I’m making it a point to have interest paid on any balance over 30 days.

The worst thing you can do when you have an outstanding balance with anyone is to avoid those people. I don’t do that. I’m a very small fish in a great big ocean and I don’t do that. Some Killer Whale establishments seem to make it policy to avoid truthful timely answers. The bullshit ranges from not returning calls to numerous other creative ways to pass the buck.

I’ve taken and made calls to try and resolve or at least clarify the money issue AFTER I’ve been told by doctors-to avoid stress.

THAT was a mistake, trust me, you don’t want to know.

“I have the money but Tony Soprano has to get his cut first.” If that was true in my case I’ve have Tony call the freelancers. And here’s why, as much transparency as possible will save a lot of trials and tribulations. When the problem is fixed great, but until then I make sure the people involved know I’m working on the issue and they are a priority.

Some time back I worked with a company that owed some artists money. I left the development (I can’t abide fools no matter what the are paying me) but still had (have) a back end state in the content. When I left the project the creators were told I took their money with me.

Really?

Neat fucking trick.

I never had control over the budget, never. I created the project but did not own the content and I could not write a check if I wanted to because I did NOT handle the budget. Did I get paid on time? Nope- my deal was back end only and I NEVER got a cent for developing and overseeing the project so while the creators were getting paid I was just working towards the end game.

When the project was done and SOLD gangbusters my lawyers had to (STILL) go after the company for a full accounting, which was supposed to happen every six months. To THIS DAY-unless I demand an accounting (which is part of my contract) I won’t see a cent.

This is a HUGE company I’m talking about. Take a look at the above list and pick one of the biggest of the biggest then assume they are twice as big as that-that’s how big they are. 10 plus years later the project is STILL making money and I still have to BITCH to see an accounting.  I tried to explain that to some creators and considered just taking care of the invoices but my lawyer said if I did then I would be on the hook for any outstanding bills, as the company would have cause to say I WAS responsible for any outstanding invoices. How the fuck could they get away with that I asked when I have a contract clearly stating the budget was not in my hands. I’ll tell you why, Death Panels. If people hear something often enough it becomes fact. Marv Wolfman told me the company was making me the fall guy. Marv also told me he knew it wasn’t true. Marv knows a thing or 50 about misdirection within certain business environments. He’s not a Death Panel guy but oh so many others are.

The outstanding invoices I’m talking about is NOT a lot, in fact it’s less than a couple grand-BUT-that couple of grand is as important to my vendors as the Millions some companies are in arrears over. 5 dollars or 5 thousand it does not matter people worked for it and they deserve it. If there’s a problem they deserve to know.

A decade or so ago Donald Trump had momentous money trouble and people counted him out and were surprised when he survived. WTF?

The only thing that Trump has ever done and will ever do is make money. That’s most likely his freakin job description.

If his business card just said:

Donald Trump

Money Maker

No one would blink.

When Tyson lost his first fight, everyone was saying he was no longer ‘unbeatable.’

FUCKING DUH.

When Obama won the White House the GOP was said to be an ‘almost dead party on life support.’ Really? Well no one told those GOP candidates who pimp slapped the Democrats last election. Bill Clinton was dead 3 times according to the press, the first when those women came out before the election, the second when he gave Monica a DNA necklace (what kind of FREAK keeps a dress and does not have THAT cleaned up?) and lastly when he was impeached.

Well, for a guy who’s been dead 3 times it must be cool to be thought of as one of the all time great Presidents.

The entertainment business is full of some pretty smart, creative people. And a LOT of assholes.

The MOMENT someone in power gets fired in this business his or her phones stop ringing. When my name is in the trades’ people I have not heard from in years call me. The moment a deal dies or I leave a company my phone becomes a paperweight. When my next deal is announced in the trades the cycle will start again.

There are a lot of people who still think I’m one lucky Mofo when it comes to the deals I’ve set up. I’m not lucky-I’m good at what I do AND I’m smart.

When someone in power is removed, fired, or simply leaves ‘to peruse other opportunities’ (FIRED) the FIRST thing I do is CALL THEM to wish them well.

Why? First because I was raised right. Secondly, I know how it feels to be THAT guy let me tell you it SUCKS!

Lastly (and why I’m so damn smart) is because that person who just got canned will end up someplace else. More than likely in a more powerful position. Why do you think Directors of horrible films and Presidents of last place networks or anchors of 3rd place network news programs keep getting hired after they are fired?

BECAUSE the talent pool is so damn limited.

More often than not it’s having a certain skill set NOT being the best at those skills that will continue your failing upwards in the entertainment arena. When Katie Couric leaves CBS she’s GOING to end up somewhere else.

One word-David Caruso.

NYPD BLUE

BIG STAR

QUITS

MOVIE CAREER

SUCKS

CSI MIAMI

BIG STAR

I bet the next time you will see David Caruso in a movie he’ll be standing behind you waiting to buy popcorn.

“May I help you?”

“I’d like…”

Long pause, removes sunglasses

“…some popcorn…no butter… this time.”

Look who replaced Larry King, a guy from England whose claim to fame is he won a reality show and judges a talent show. Larry King interviewed KINGS and the Brit that gets his job is known for giving a juggler a 3rd strike. Now here’s the kicker-the Brit is really good on the show.

I’m sure my business troubles will resolve themselves soon. I DO so hate when I have to wait for others to handle my complications. When things are no longer complicated, I’m flying to New York and personally giving my friend his due. Then I’m taking him and his family out to dinner and giving him a deal that will make him teary eyed…with half up front.