Is Laughter The Best Medicine? by Mike Gold Brainiac On Banjo #227

June 13, 2011 Mike Gold 0 Comments

Poor me. I’m laid up with a pinched nerve so severe I have to lie flat on the floor to watch the Stanley Cup Finals, and I’m on so many meds Hunter S. Thompson would be jealous… if only they actually worked. I’m making it through the day with the support of my sacrificing and loving daughter Adriane, my dear friend and brilliant chiropractor Larry Barnett, and our kitty-kat Roscoe, who loves my bed more than I do.

Oh, and one thing more. I’m making it through the day because of the reliable stupidity of our elected representatives.

It’s the funniest show in town. This morning, as I write this on my iPad with
Roscoe gently snoring at my feet, Newt Gingrich’s entire senior campaign staff quit. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a major campaign self-destruct so fast. He got off on the wrong foot by telling the truth, and then he shot himself in that foot when he kowtowed to the addle-pated Tea Baggers by withdrawing his statement and then saying anybody who quoted his original statement was a liar. I thought I was watching South Park.

Now everybody who was running his campaign walked off en masse. Evidently, their press releases were fraught with euphemisms for “asshole.”  Bill Maher pointed out Newt was fired by his own staff.

This came on the heels of the travails of Anthony Weiner, the unfortunately named Democrat who is the latest celebrity to think that Twittering photos of his genitals is a swell idea. In a perfect world this shouldn’t matter, but in our world it is an act of astonishing stupidity. I don’t think there’s a good time for this type of story to break, but I think people on the left and the right might agree that a couple days before your wife’s pregnancy is announced is hardly optimum.

I sort of respect Weiner’s decision to stay in office. I think the last guy who went through this, Congressman Chris Lee, should have taken the same stand: let the people he represents vote next year. But his party doesn’t want to risk losing the seat– as Lee did.

But here’s the punchline. Wiener is President Bill Clinton’s protégé. Weiner called Clinton to apologize to him. Think about that. And now think about how Weiner’s wife is Hilary Clinton’s best friend. It’s sort of like being on a roast – I’m too polite to call it a Weiner roast – but one that ends in self-immolation.

Now there’s the release of over 24,000 pages of Sarah Palin’s emails. Oddly, I’m not going to attack her until there’s actually a reason – it’s not like I need to troll for Palin fodder, although her pro-environment statements are amusing. No, I’m attacking the New York Times for asking readers to help them sift through the deluge. It’s not as if there aren’t about a million unemployed trained, objective reporters who need the freelance work.

Ah, unpaid journalism, thy name is Huffington.

Like I said, this is an unending show that’s been running over two centuries – longer, if we consider our overseas friends. It’s underscored by the perfect pomposity of our politicians who have a knack for making an apology sound like an act of war. I can hardly wait for Rick Santorum to open his mouth.

Well, at least it gets me through the night.

Pained to the point of hallucination, www.ComicMix.com editor-in-Chief and emotional scallywag Mike Gold performs the weekly two-hour Weird Sounds Inside The Gold Mind ass-kicking bizarro music and blather radio show on America’s pop culture channel The Point, www.getthepointradio.com, every Sunday at 7:00 PM Eastern, replayed three times during the week (check the website above for times). Likewise, his musically offensive Weird Scenes Inside The Gold Mind political and cultural rants are unleashed each and every day at the same venue.