Occupy Truth, by Michael Davis – Straight No Chaser #240
October 28, 2011 Michael Davis 17 Comments
Today I watched news reports of police shooting rubber bullets; smoke grenades and general ass kicking in New York and Oakland.
Rubber bullets can kill you if they hit you in the wrong place. Hell, BLANKS can kill you if you are hit you in the wrong place.
Ask Bruce Lee’s son, Brandon.
Oh, you can’t because someone firing a blank killed him.
I have no love for The Tea Party but recently I’ve garnered a bit of respect for them. There were numerous Tea Party rallies in which Tea Party members came ARMED.
The cops did not so much as ask for ‘carry’ documentation. Not a single Tea Party member got a rubber bullet to their head.
No one is armed at any of the Occupy Wall Street or related rallies yet scores of these protesters are getting SHOT, BEAT and arrested.
The reaction of some from the Right?
Get those motherfuckers and teach them a lesson.
I’m a simple guy. I talk a LOT of smack but I’m a simple guy.
This simple guy is about to join a group of like-minded people at Occupy LA. I’m NOT looking for trouble. I LIKE my life. If I’m shot in the head with a rubber bullet and die it’s LAPD’s fault.
How will you know this?
Because if a cop with a gun tells me to move-I’m MOVING!
So if I’m shot to death you know it’s because the agenda from those in power is to remove people like me.
If I die, Mike Gold gets my comic collection, Mike Grell gets my guns, Michael Eury gets my Caption Action collection, my assistant James gets my books, my best friend Denys gets my classic cars, and I leave my body to an Asian girl University.
My editor Tom gets two brilliant yet unfinished books.
If I survive the shooting-my lawyer gets me 10 million dollars from the city of L.A.
OR…America wakes up before my death and re-thinks how we treat citizens who stage non-violent protests and I can keep all my shit and STAY ALIVE.
That would be great, but judging from recent events-I’m most likely a dead man. I hope not, I really like living but sometimes there are some things bigger than life.
What’s bigger than life?
Truth, Justice and the American way.
BTW-the American way is NOT shooting at non-violent protesters. We INVADE countries that do that shit.
I’ll let you know what happens at the rally in next week column…I hope.
Shane Kelly
October 28, 2011 - 12:08 pm
Why do I get the sneaking suspicion that there will be a third book in the offing after this experience? You BETTER be safe Michael, or I’ll have to find a way out to LA to kick your ass, mister!
Whitney
October 28, 2011 - 12:26 pm
MOTU –
Call me with more specifics!
Mike Gold
October 28, 2011 - 1:36 pm
You’ve put all this in a WILL, right?
And after you shuffle off your mortal coil, I’ll be free to go public with that… secret… right?
Whitney
October 28, 2011 - 1:44 pm
MOTU –
I get the pitbull!
MOTU
October 28, 2011 - 4:48 pm
Mike,
A WILL? A WILL?? BAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!
White people.
MOTU
October 28, 2011 - 4:52 pm
Mike,
Oh about that secret-feel free to tell the world. What could Salma Hayek’s husband do to me then?
MOTU
October 28, 2011 - 5:01 pm
Sorry Whitster,but you are still dead to the pitbull.
Sorry that MAY be my fault. He overheard me telling you on the phone to “Get a new dog” when you told me you were about to drop a few thousand dollars on a medical procedure for your dog.
I MAY have told him that I was just repeating what you said because I was SO shocked that you would “Get a new dog?” instead of spending the money.
Yeah-he thinks you are pretty cold blooded.
Vinnie Bartilucci
October 28, 2011 - 7:02 pm
Technically Brandon Lee was shot, and not with a blank. It’s even weirder – they had dummy bullets in the gun, with no powder. They unloaded the gun, and one of the real bullets fell out of its empty casing and lodged in the barrel. Then they loaded it with blanks, fired it at Brandon, and the real bullet was propelled from the barrel and into Mr. Lee. There’s actual footage of him being shot – it ran on all the Entertainment Tonight shows back in the day. Just in case you thought it was only modern talevision that had the market cornered on what they’ll show to keep you glued to the tube.
Now John-Erik Hexum, HE was shot with a blank. He was kidding around with a prop gun, pulled the trigger, and the paper wadding holding the gunpowder in was blasted into his skull with sufficient force to kill him.
I’m with you – when a cop says move, I move. I’m never gonna be one of those guys claiming “You don’t have the right to search…” becasue that’s about as far as they get before they have my doughy ass against the body of my car with one hand, pulling out the zip-tie with the other.
As Richard Jeni said, “He has A Gun. And A Stick. And A Radio, with which he can call other men with guns and sticks.”
MOTU
October 29, 2011 - 12:09 am
Vinnie said,
“They unloaded the gun, and one of the real bullets fell out of its empty casing and lodged in the barrel…’
WHY were there REAL bullets on a movie set??
Anyone ever answer that question?
McCarthy
October 29, 2011 - 9:23 am
Does your Death Ray count as a gun? If not, dibs.
mike weber
October 29, 2011 - 10:46 am
There are real bullets – not real cartridges – because sometimes you have to show the gun being loaded, or opened up to show it’s loaded, or being unloaded after the hero takes it from the villain (or vice-versa).
To do so, you have to have actual (albeit empty) cartridges with real bullets in them, or the mechanism can’t handle them.
Repeat after me: “You do not load a gun with ‘bullets’. You load a gun with ‘cartridges’. Cartridges go into the gun. Bullets come out the front at high speed, and ‘brass’ come out the back, top or side after the cartridge has been fired.”
The big safety mistake in the Brandon Lee case was actually pointing the gun directly at him. Just as stunt people don’t actually hit each other when staging a fight, but the camera angle makes it look as if they do, a firearm loaded with blanks should never be pointed directly at another actor when it’s fired, because just such an accident may happen.
In Hexum’s case, just the blast from a convincing .44 magnum blank would have been enough to cause serious injury or death; whether or no the round had a wad. (A lot of blanks don’t have much if any wad – they’re just crimped shut.)
Super Hot Asian Girl
October 29, 2011 - 10:59 pm
Kev,
I thought I’d leave you my GI Joe’s. I’m leaving the Death Ray on ‘self destruct’ outside a punk ass Uncle Tom’s office who thinks I’m brainwashed.
MOTU
October 29, 2011 - 11:02 pm
I had my super hot Asian girl leave the last post…long story involving Tequila so I better quit now…
Jeremiah Avery
October 31, 2011 - 9:37 am
MOTU, I’ll be working on a time machine in order to remove you from harm’s way before the trigger is pulled.
MOTU
October 31, 2011 - 5:54 pm
Thanks Jeremiah!
While you’re at it, could you make sure Herman Cain’s parents don’t meet?
Jeremiah Avery
October 31, 2011 - 6:23 pm
I’ll see what I can do!
Though I’ll probably make a few stops along the way for a bit of fun.
MOTU
November 1, 2011 - 12:53 am
COOL!
Stop by Rush’s parents also!