Steve Jobs, Tom Cruise, and the Ku Klux Klan, by Mike Gold – Brainiac On Banjo #245
October 17, 2011 Mike Gold 23 Comments
Do you know what I like about the Westboro Baptist Church?
In case you’re not in the know, the Westboro Baptist Church is that gaggle of pustulous bigots who demonstrate at the funerals of gay soldiers who died in battle defending their right to be assholes. They’ve also demonstrated against Jews at Washington’s United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. They tried to demonstrate against the victims of the Joplin Missouri tornado this year but they were dissuaded by local and military bikers. And that’s barely just the tip of their vile anti-human practice
So how can there possibly be anything to like about these foul, soulless monsters?
Earlier this year the Ku Klux Klan denounced the Westboro Baptist Church as hate mongers. No kidding; they’ve even appeared at counter-demonstrations in full KKK regalia. That’s… just… absolutely… wonderful!
I’m reminded of this because last week they denounced Steve Jobs as a hideous Buddhist and they said they’re going to picket his funeral (sorry assholes; it was a private affair). But here’s the best part: they confirmed the event by Tweeting on an iPhone!
Gotta love it. It takes a lot of guts to make your mark in this world by trashing the dead. Sadly, while their intent might be more malicious than most, they are by no means alone.
A great many Americans do not believe Buddhism as a “legitimate” religion. Same thing with Hinduism. A somewhat smaller number of Americans do not recognize Catholicism, Islam, Judaism, and/or Mormonism. And Scientology drives even more people bat-shit.
OK, Tom Cruise isn’t running for president, and that’s not because: 1) he’s a better actor than Ronald Reagan, and 2) he probably can’t cope with the cut in pay and power. But we’ve had a couple Mormons in the current race, and I find it amusing to note that about a third of those who identified themselves as Evangelicals said they would not vote for a Mormon under any circumstances.
Getting back to Steve “the Buddhist” Jobs… In death, he had something in common with a number of other celebrities such as George “the Hindu” Harrison and George “the atheist” Carlin. In death, a slew of editorial cartoonists ignorantly and benignly depicted Jobs at the so-called pearly gates, often chatting or being lectured to by some winged gatekeeper.
I wonder how these über-Christians would feel if, say, Westboro Baptist Church leader Fred Phelps were to be welcomed into the hereafter by Buddha or Moses or Madalyn Murray O’Hair. Well, I guess Madalyn would be a bit confused, but still….
Look, zealots. If you’re going to take the time to honor some dead guy, get it right or have the guts to have your winged gatekeeper ream the bastard out for backing the wrong horse.
I don’t hate religion. I embrace everybody’s right to his or her own faith. But, oft-times, it seems that organized religion hates humanity.
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Rock’n’blues Red Cat Mike Gold kicks ass each week on Weird Sounds Inside The Gold Mind streaming four times a week on www.getthepointradio.com and available at that same venue on demand because, well, we can. He also joins MDWers Martha Thomases and Michael Davis as a weekly columnist at www.comicmix.com.
Martha Thomases
October 17, 2011 - 6:24 am
The idea of anyone, least of all these Phelpsians, deciding what’s a “Legitimate” religion seems to me to miss the point of what a religion is. But you know that.
George Haberberger
October 17, 2011 - 7:51 am
MIke,
The Westboro Baptist Church demonstrates at any military funeral. They do not limit themselves to gay soldiers. Apparently they believe that everyone is responsible for all the advantages and perks that this country has bestowed on the gay community so we all must be held accountable. Yeah, much like using iPhones to denounce Steve Jobs, there’s a lot of self-contradiction in this group.
Jeremiah Avery
October 17, 2011 - 8:23 am
I chalk up Jobs, Carlin and others being depicted as arriving at the pearly gates as an example of the editorial cartoonists being a bunch of unoriginal hacks.
Did you read what a town in Mississippi did to counteract the Westboro “church”? Classic: http://thehayride.com/2011/04/westboro-baptist-church-goes-to-mississippi-and-loses/
Whitney
October 17, 2011 - 12:41 pm
This group is Christian as much as the Nazis and Aryan historical revisionists were. Or unfortunately are.
Vinnie Bartilucci
October 17, 2011 - 3:43 pm
I wrote a piece lately praising the Westboro folks for the twenty-first century way they do their protesting. They announce the protest weeks ahead of time, giving them WEEKS of publicity, so much so that the actual protest is an after thought.
http://itrd.blogspot.com/2010/12/westboro-baptist-church-masters-of.html
I guarantee, they won’t send more than five people to Jobs’s memorial.
People don’t hate other people’s religions. They hate other people. The religion is just a nail to hang it on, so too is skin color, income level and whether or not their bellies have stars.
People worry that if a member of That Religion Over There gets into office, they’ll start passing laws that will force their religion on the rest of us. So if Mitt Romney gets in, he’ll ban coffee and make polygamy mandatory. And that’ll never work, cause we won’t have the energy to keep up with demand.
And it’s keenly ironic that Christians are the most vehement about those claims, because as we know, Christians have never attempted to force their beliefs on the populace from the voting booth.
Mike Gold
October 17, 2011 - 4:36 pm
Vinnie — Really? Ask Al Smith. Or half of Barry Goldwater.
MOTU
October 17, 2011 - 7:36 pm
It is my sincere wish that some people picket the funeral of a Westboro Baptist Church member with signs that say; “God is glad you’re dead and asks you to say hi to Satan when you meet him.”
Mike Gold
October 17, 2011 - 7:54 pm
Even better, the sign’s held by a Klansman!
Rene
October 17, 2011 - 8:33 pm
I blame organized religion for a lot of things, but not for Phelps. Phelps is a madman who took advantage of Christianity to exercise his control freak tendencies. He would still be a sociopath even if he never put his hands on a Bible.
And yeah, I find it funny that people who believe in the Rapture would scoff at Xenu or the Mormon alien planets.
Rick Oliver
October 18, 2011 - 7:42 am
I’m going to market a generic religious protest sign: “God hates you for not being more like me.”
MOTU
October 18, 2011 - 8:07 am
Rick,
Put me down for 666 of them!
Rick Oliver
October 18, 2011 - 11:42 am
MOTU: Michelle Bachmann has already exposed Herman Cain’s 9-9-9 plan as being a thinly disguised 6-6-6 plan!
Mike Gold
October 18, 2011 - 12:29 pm
Actually, my pal Glenn Hauman noted Herman Cain’s 9-9-9 sounds a LOT like Domino Pizza’s 5-5-5.
The big problem with electing outsiders is that, by definition, they are newcomers, don’t understand how things work and, more important, don’t have a clue how to make things work. By the time they figure it out, it’s election time once again and they’ve got a lot of failures under their belt. Newcomers good; experience good. Oxymoron good.
As long as we have the 60% rule (which is NOT a law) in the Senate, nothing will ever get accomplished. At least, not until the TeaPubs understand that “compromise” does not mean “the other side caves in.”
Rick Oliver
October 18, 2011 - 2:06 pm
The only way we’ll ever get rid of the 60% rule is if one party has more than 60% of the senate seats and decides to get rid of the rule. The problem is when you have over 60% of the seats, you don’t have any real incentive to get rid of the 60% rule.
Mike Gold
October 18, 2011 - 2:32 pm
Fuck that. I’m going to Wall Street.
pennie
October 18, 2011 - 5:38 pm
The well-documented Westboro picketing at Matthew Shepard’s funeral aside, Phelp’s lunatic fringe proclamation that Katrina was God’s punishment for New Sodom, er Orleans’ 300 year sinning ranks right down there with the worst of them.
Rene
October 18, 2011 - 6:13 pm
I read a website about Phelps, once. It was sort of a book wrote by one of his many haters, and had interviews with one or two of his sons that managed to escape from his influence.
There is this episode that is very illustrative of the way he is. Phelps got into athletics some years ago. And whenever he gets into something, all of his family is more or less forced to follow, no dissent.
He was running with one of his sons, and the kid managed to beat Phelps in a race.
Phelps punched his son.
Mike Gold
October 19, 2011 - 6:33 am
How old was the kid? Did he punch him back?
Rene
October 19, 2011 - 3:45 pm
It’s been a long while since I’ve read it. I think the kid was in his late teens. Phelps oldest son. And no, he didn’t punch back.
Tony Isabella
October 20, 2011 - 8:10 am
“…all the advantages and perks that this country has bestowed on the gay community…”
Yeah. Those gays have it so good.
I wish I were gay so that I could be an easy target for bigots, not be allowed to marry the one I love or visit her/him in a hospital, and be vilified by the unthinking.
And the phrase is “equal rights.”
Nothing special.
Just equal rights.
Mike Gold
October 20, 2011 - 9:43 am
Tony, I’ve known a lot of people who believe gays, Lesbians, blacks and “others” have long been the recipients of “special” rights that they don’t get. When I ask what those may be, and I always do, I’m told they get special hiring privileges (arguably true about blacks and certain others, but of course that was before 2008 when the rich people found it more profitable to fire people than to hire them). I ask what else. I’m told schooling. Really? Where? When? For whom? Gays get special schooling privileges? Take 500 white people and 500 black people with the same middling GPA — let’s see how many of them are in good schools and how many couldn’t get in.
That’s because Asians have all the slots. Yep, I was told that. I pointed out that kinda undermined his argument about meritocracies.
Then I ask: “Do you seriously want to trade places with your average gay, Lesbian, or black person?” Or, if appropriate, “Do you seriously want your kid to trade places with your average gay, Lesbian, or black person?”
No takers.
Rene
October 20, 2011 - 6:59 pm
Here in Brazil, the Supreme Court this year decided to allow civil unions for gay couples. These civil unions don’t even grant the full range of legal advantages of a straight marriage. But it was enough for many social conservatives (particularly Evangelicals) to start screaming about special rights and “gay dictatorship.”
Bull.
I can walk holding hands with my girlfriend anywhere I please, and no one will bat a eyelid. THAT is a great perk. My gay friends must always be aware that in the wrong establishment, the wrong neighbourhood, any overt displays of affection, even holding hands, can have disastrous consequences.
.
Gays are still worth 1/3 of straight people, citizen-wise, at best.
.
But many people who have a religious opposition to homosexuality will never see things this way. Any law intending on giving gays equality will seen like an extra-natural advantage, since it involves “unnatural” behaviour being normalized.
Mike Gold
October 20, 2011 - 9:03 pm
Yep. But I couldn’t care less about religion-sanctioned bigotry. This revolution started several years ago in the U.K.,Canada and quite a number of nations, and we here in the States are slowly catching up. And if a nation like the U.S. with its blue laws and “The U.S. is a Christian nation” mentality can do it, it’ll get to most civilized places before too long.
Of course, that’s going by MY definition of “civilized.”