I have Issues, by Michael Davis – Straight No Chaser #257 | @MDWorld
February 24, 2012 Michael Davis 13 Comments
I’m a neat freak.
I can’t stand clutter.
If I want something and I see more than two people on line for that something I won’t wait.
I can’t stand bodily fluid humor.
I’m a 6 foot 2 inch Black man and my favorite movie is ‘My best friend’s wedding.’
I will not use public bathrooms.
I hate talking on the phone.
I’m a Liberal and I belong to the NRA.
I HATE to travel.
I HATE to fly.
I like porn.
Like the title says, I have issues.
I was raised by a single mother, a grandmother and an older sister. My sister and grandmother were both killed. I have every right to be bitter. I have every right to rail against dozens of things that I simply don’t agree with.
I don’t.
I don’t care is YOU are a neat freak.
I don’t care if you can stand clutter.
You can make as many fart jokes, as you want.
You have every right to think that ‘My best friend’s wedding’ sucks and if I like it I must be Gay.
It would NEVER occur to me to think that just because I think this way, you must think this way.
Never.
I grew up in a place where the odds of me being DEAD are FAR greater than the odds of me going to an Ivy League school. Hell, the odds of me having a PhD coming from the projects are off the charts, yet I have one.
In the hood, in the fucking hood, we know that what we believe is not what everyone else believes. We KNOW that trying to MAKE everyone believe what we believe is fucking CRAZY.
The GOP can learn something from hood niggers like me. They can learn that no matter where you are from, rich or poor, most people are NOT crazy.
So thinking they can decide how Gay people live or what women do with their bodies or how Latinos should be regulated in America in 2012 will surely lead them to a dismal defeat in November.
America is NOT stupid. America does have a heart.
I have issues but they are my issues. I’m an American and my issues don’t not mean I’m a island.
NO man is an island. NO nation is an island
America is a nation that embraces diversity. The current GOP rejects diversity.
I reject the GOP because my issues make me…ME. It’s that me that makes me an American.
I will die defending a Republicans right to BE a Republican.
It seems that the GOP would like to see me die because I don’t fit their idea of what a ‘real’ American is.
I don’t know what that is, but it’s not America.
Kyle G.
February 24, 2012 - 11:48 am
The Republican’s are really getting a lower and lower return each year from appealing to scared/angry white men. This may since in by the next election, but for this round I think they are in serious trouble.
Bill Mulligan
February 24, 2012 - 12:48 pm
MOTU, saying “It seems that the GOP would like to see me die because I don’t fit their idea of what a ‘real’ American is.” is as crazy as saying what one thinks “the” blacks, “the” Jews, “the” Christians, etc etc would like to do.
It’s a political party. It has idiots and geniuses and many in between. I could come up with a rogues gallery of moron Democrats and proclaim that their idiocy is why “the” Democratic Party is unfit to lead but that would be a ridiculous argument.
Furthermore, taking it to the “they want to see me die.” level is taking this to an ugly level. Tell you what–come to a meeting of a bunch of GOPers and calmly state your case. Then pretend to be a conservative GOP African American and hang out by the nearest OWS protest. See where you get cold cocked first.
Mike Gold
February 24, 2012 - 2:30 pm
Bill, you’re absolutely right. The Republicans don’t want to see MOTU die. That’s icky. Send in the drones.
MOTU
February 24, 2012 - 2:41 pm
Bill,
I said; “It SEEMS the GOP would like to see me die” not ” They WANT to see me die.”
But I see your point.
My point is the venom coming out of the GOP has reached such a fever pitch that it makes me feel some in the party have NO use whatsoever for anyone who is not like them.
Regarding being ‘cold cocked’ the crowds at GOP debates have BOOED, a gay solider, booed a question about offending black people, booed a question about women’s right to her own body so the odds of being bitch slapped at OWS and a GOP event are even money from where I sit.
Now the odds of ME being hit are pretty low-I’m from the hood and I belong to the NRA-do the math.
Mike Gold
February 24, 2012 - 2:55 pm
Lots of lefties belong to the NRA. Their training programs are quite good; I’m sure they differ in quality from place to place, but overall they do the right thing when it comes to training. On the other hand, Wayne LaPierre is a completely hysterical idiot, and a very dangerous one at that.
Oh, and they’ve got good art direction.
Geoffrey L. Garfield
February 24, 2012 - 3:25 pm
Bro.MOTU is Right On! The Repub definition of America does not include a diverse culture other than to support the delivery of their perceived “privileges”. Privileges you say? Yes. They believe that they are the only ones working and eligible for government handouts, I mean services, that only they have paid into, the rest of us are living off of their hard work. That’s why they want “America back”; back to what? When they had their way with the rest of us and deny any opportunity to progress in competition with THEM and their progeny. That’s the America they want. Controlling women and their bodies and destinies, that is the proper order of things. If Repubs don’t believe this, then please stop supporting Gingrich, Santorum, and Romney because unless one is delusional, that is exactly what they are saying!
MOTU
February 24, 2012 - 3:36 pm
I joined the NRA because of the programs, they know their stuff without a doubt. I agree with you regarding art direction-everything I get from them is really well designed.
Crazy-but well designed.
Bill Mulligan
February 24, 2012 - 7:09 pm
I think one of the things that drove me rightward was that, at college, I could bring a liberal friend to a group of conservatives and they would be treated well–anyone who was rude to them would get a dressing down by the others–but man, the reverse was not at all the case. And I refuse to tailor my friendships to the expectations of others so that left a bad taste in my mouth.
I think in general we who are not insane should tone down the rhetoric, leave the over-generalizations to the whackadoos. There is so much venom from both sides it’s kind of tough to single one out–here’s a link to Maxine Waters calling Cantor and Boehner “demons”…and the crowd loves it. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/6338751.stm
Does that clip tell us a whole lot about the Democratic party? and consider, those are the folks at the 2012 CA Democratic Party Convention, not just a random selection of whoever shows up at a debate.
I’m not gonna generalize about a whole party based on that but forgive me if I find a lot of the liberal angst over the demonizing of the president hard to take seriously. Not too many conservatives actually think he’s a demon. Well, maybe Santorum does.
MOTU
February 24, 2012 - 7:21 pm
Bill,
I’m well aware and have often said that all members of the GOP are not THAT far to the right. I’ve also said that there are plenty of assholes on the left.
My ongoing ire is directed at GOP leader’s hate speech or when GOP leaders say nothing when someone on the right pops some bullshit like Ron Paul’s “95% of black men are criminals.”
Bill Mulligan
February 24, 2012 - 8:53 pm
In fairness to Paul–who I do not support–the quote is that 95% of black men in Washington DC are criminals. It should have been that 95% of the black politicians in DC are criminals. I mean, why expect them to be any better than the others?
And he denies having written it in the first place…though when one has a newsletter with one’s name on it one should make damn sure there is nothing in it that offends decency. That he did not do so indicates to me a lack of attention to detail that does not bode well for a president.
Mike Gold
February 25, 2012 - 10:15 am
I really don’t think Sturgeon’s Law applies to human beings.
Rene
February 25, 2012 - 10:54 am
Bill –
When I was young, there was this family that lived in my street. They were very Leftist. Extremely Leftist. I was friends with them, but I couldn’t deny that they were condescending assholes when it came to politics. And I’m being generous to them, probably. A better word would be “insufferable.”
I have met so many of the insufferable Leftist here in Brazil in the 1980s and 1990s. Even if I could agree with them on many issues, I still wanted to punch their faces, every single one of them. They acted as if they had the monopoly on integrity, intelligence, wisdom. They acted as if anyone who disagreed with them were stupid dupes at best, rotten-to-the-core demons at worst.
So I hear you, man.
But so what? I grew up and realized that I couldn’t let them dictate what I think. I won’t become a right-winger just because many on the Left are jerks. The Left’s positions simply make more sense to me, their ideals more easily match what I’ve seen of the world and what I really feel to be correct. Not all of their positions, but most of them.
And the best I can do is trying not to be a huge jerk about it. I’m aware I not always suceed. But I try.
Neil C.
February 26, 2012 - 8:49 am
The biggest difference between right and left is while the left will acknowledge that some on their side are assholes, the right will rationalize and make excuses for them no matter how heinous their actions.