An Open Letter To Bristol Palin, from Mike Gold – Brainiac On Banjo #268 | @MDWorld

March 26, 2012 Mike Gold 15 Comments

Dear Ms. Palin:

As you know, you recently sent an open letter to President Barack Obama regarding his phone call to Sandra Fluke and Bill Maher’s contribution to a Democratic Party Super-PAC. In case you do not recall, you said:

“Ever since you called Sandra Fluke after Rush Limbaugh called her a slut, I figured I might be next. You explained to reporters you called her because you were thinking of your two daughters… If (Bill) Maher talked about Malia and Sasha that way, you’d return his dirty money and the Secret Service would probably have to restrain you. After all, I’ve always felt you understood my plight more than most because your mom was a teenager. That’s why you stood up for me when you were campaigning against Sen. McCain and my mom – you said vicious attacks on me should be off limits. Yet I wonder if the Presidency has changed you. Now that you’re in office, it seems you’re only willing to defend certain women. You’re only willing to take a moral stand when you know your liberal supporters will stand behind you.”

I’m glad you spoke up. I enjoy your family’s efforts to keep yourselves in the public eye. You folks are the Kardashians of politics… except you’re a lot more funny, and even less intelligent.

You say President Obama is only willing to take a moral stand when he knows his liberal supporters will stand behind him. You mean the way he has kept Guantanamo open? You mean the way he’s maintained the pervasive and horrific sanctions against our personal liberties and freedoms in the name of fighting terrorism? Perhaps you took the broad view and were referring to President Obama’s caving in to the Republican Party at damn near every available opportunity.

You say President Obama should return Bill Maher’s political contribution to his Super-PAC. Honey, you should stop getting your political education from your mother. Candidates are prohibited by law from telling any Super-PAC how they should run their operations. This is true for Democrats who get six million dollars from Priorities USA Action and for Republicans who get eight times as much from Restore Our Future (Romney), the Red White and Blue Fund (Santorum), Winning Our Future (Gingrich), and Endorse Liberty (Paul). According to USA Today, fully two-thirds of the funds raised for the 2012 Presidential campaign have come from these five PACs. If you want to get rid of them altogether and strengthen the voice of the individual voter, then you and I are in agreement. In fact, we’re all in bed together with Bill Maher on that one.

You say you always felt President Obama understood your plight more than most because his mom was a teenager. Ms. Palin, I truly admire you. That is the most fancy, the most high-fluting way I’ve ever heard somebody call any President’s mother a slut. You have quite a career ahead of you on talk radio, in the unlikely event AM radio survives Rush Limbaugh.

Ms. Palin, there is no evidence that Sandra Fluke is, was, or ever has been a slut or a prostitute. All she did was testify to Congress as to why she felt birth control should be covered by employer health plans. You know, the way Viagra is covered. Maybe you don’t know, but given your track record you probably will in a couple decades. I don’t recall Bill Maher calling you a prostitute, and as a former teen-age boy I admire your willingness to give it away.

On the other hand, there is a very strong indication that you may be a slut.

And you named him Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston.

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Patriot-atheist-asshole Mike Gold performs the weekly two-hour Weird Sounds Inside The Gold Mind ass-kicking rock, blues and blather radio show on The Point, www.getthepointradio.com, every Sunday at 7:00 PM Eastern, replayed three times during the week (check the website above for times) and available On Demand at the same place.