Damn it Mitt Romney… – By Danny Donovan – Mad Science #8 – @MDWorld
March 1, 2012 Danny Donovan 2 Comments
You know, I already have enough reasons to dislike you and now you have to go and do this.
What has Mittens done to gain my Irish ire this time?
I thought you’d never ask. Well I was typing up a wonderfully amusing column about Rick Santorum and his American jihad. It had everything, low brow bathroom humor, religious mocking, a Buddy Christ image from Dogma… Everything!
But no, Mitt couldn’t just keep his well quaffed head down and win in MI, and let people make fun of Santorum, he had to go and become a bigger news story than our favorite Christian extremists.
Here we at the end of another GOP primary election, and again Mitt Romney just can’t seem to close the deal. He continues to prove how unelectable he is from his:
“My wife Anne has a couple of Cadillacs” (as a side note, even my spell check thinks its wrong to pluralize Cadillac to “I enjoy NASCAR it mixes racing and sport. Some of my best friends are team owners!”
Some days I just think he needs to start showing up to rallies with a top hat and a monocle and scream “I’m rich bitches” and walk off. Every time Romney bot utters a word in mans tongue, it just seems creepy and forced.
“The trees are just the right height!” What the fuck does that mean? Are you a spy? Are you liberating France? Is that a code you use to find your contact to get the microfiche with the plans on them? Oh my God, Mitt Romney is an LMD from S.H.I.E.L.D. I have solved it.
In Mitt Romney’s home state, he barely squeaked out a victory. Newt “Moon Unit” Gingritch is set to take his home state of Georgia by over 15 points!
So why can’t this supposed front runner seem to close the deal? By now the talking heads are spinning the “win”. But there isn’t much to spin is there? Romney outspent Santorum 6 to one, in his home state, (or at least one of them) and he still only pulled out a victory by a meager 3% points.
Super Tuesday is going to hand Romney another slate of losses, Ohio and the bible belt states will go to Santorum, Newt will carry his home turf in GA. The only one for a possible large win is my home state of VA, considering he’s one of the only people on the ballot. Despite being a liberal, I will go in and vote for Ron Paul just ’cause.
Barring an August surprise and they wind up nominating Jeb Bush or Ronald Regan’s head in a jar, Mitt is their man.
I have to wonder what the GOP is thinking. The Romney Bot or His Holiness, The Cardinal Santorum. Those are the horses you’re backing? Seriously?
Enjoy your circus. Come November, there will be a lot of crow, instead of Turkey on the tables of many republican pundits…
JosephW
March 1, 2012 - 2:30 pm
Well, in all fairness to Mittens (not something I’m wont to do), it’s really hard to win your “home state” when you’ve got so many of them. I mean, yes, he was born and raised in Michigan, but’s he also had homes in Massachusetts and Utah (after his success with the Salt Lake City Olympics, people were suggesting he seek political office in the state), and he currently has homes in Massachusetts (he sold his previous home and has a smaller place which he uses as his VOTING residence), New Hampshire (in which primary he did win–but with under 40%; not exactly a great showing for a NH homeowner as well as ex-governor of a neighboring state) and in California (in San Diego, to be precise; you might remember this was the 12 million dollar home that he planned to QUADRUPLE in size–3000 square feet simply was not enough to accomodate the whole Romney family which begs the question, “Were they ALL going to live in the house full-time or just at the holidays” because I know so many average people who would like to have mansions to handle the holiday gatherings but aren’t as interested in having to care for one the other 11 months of the year).
But considering the fact that Mittens really hasn’t spent any time in Michigan since he was in college, and has NEVER been involved in Michigan politics (other than helping his parents’ efforts), calling Michigan his “home state” is a bit misleading. (By that metric, Rick Santorum failed his home state. He was born in Virginia and grew up in that state and in WV, but he won’t even be on the Virginia primary ballot–he failed to qualify. Also, Santorum currently owns a home in Virginia and was criticized for entering his kids in a PA cyber-schooling program while the kids were living with him in Virginia.)
MOTU
March 1, 2012 - 3:23 pm
I can’t stand Mitt-I hate him like a Blood hates a Crip. But if I HAD to pick a Republican or someone would kill my puppy it would be him.
He’s a freakin robot but at least he’s not to ba…WHAT THE HELL AM I SAYING?
I’ll just get another puppy.
R. Maheras
March 1, 2012 - 4:31 pm
Keep in mind that Obama was pegged as an out-of-touch elitist — by Chicago’s black community, no less — when he was struggling to move up the ranks of Illinois politics. At the time, Bobby Rush, a rival Chicago politician, and one of the original organizers of the 1960s radical advocacy group, the Black Panthers, summed it up during an interview when he said about Obama, “He went to Harvard and became an educated fool. We’re not impressed with these folks with these Eastern elite degrees.”
To Obama’s credit, he got smart and started mingling with the regular folks, at church and elsewhere, so he could learn to speak less like a professor and more like the guy next door.
Romney needs to follow Obama’s lead and do the same thing. If he doesn’t, then shame on him — he probably isn’t savvy enough of a politician to get himself elected to the White House.
Rene
March 1, 2012 - 6:56 pm
When Republicans were saying how awesome Sarah Palin was because she was girl-next-door I wasn’t impressed. To me, Palin looked dreadfully ignorant and unprepared to be President.
Let’s face it, many guys-next-door are ignorant about so many things, and I don’t buy into the Forrest Gump fallacy about the down home folksy wisdom of everymen making them awesome at everything.
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So I have to admit that being an archetypical rich boy may lose him votes, but I don’t think it makes Romney any worse as a potential President.
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He’s certainly orders of magnitude better than that scary man that all Republicans would have hated if he were as passionate about a different religion as he is about Christianity.
R. Maheras
March 1, 2012 - 8:08 pm
Rene — Palin’s problem was was her rise in politics was so fast she did not have the experience and education level necessary to speak authoratively about a myriad of issues. Obama had a similar meteoric rise and thus had (and still has) some of the same weaknesses as Palin, but his inexperience was glossed over to a large degree because of his charisma and Ivy League educational background — and possibly even because he was a man. As I mentioned before, Hillary actually had a better experience resume than Obama, but she just couldn’t overcome his other advantages.
In Palin’s case, she naturally spoke folksy but didn’t have much depth from an intellectual and experience standpoint — something that was impossible for her to compensate for regardless of how hard she crammed or was coached. When grilled by an experienced journalist, Palin’s weaknesses during the 2008 campaign were often exposed after just a few questions, and sometimes, she was caught totally flat-footed by the very first question.
Obama had very deep intellectual depth, but was weak on experience and speaking at a folksy level. Like Palin, Obama could do nothing about his lack of experience, but he could — and did — learn to speak folksy when he needed to. Having a strong academic background made it easy for Obama to sound like he knew what he was talking about — even when he really didn’t.
Mike Gold
March 3, 2012 - 5:28 pm
Russ, Bobby — sorry, make that Congressman Bobby — wasn’t quite one of the original Black Panther Party organizers, he was one of the original BPP organizers in Chicago. Him and Fred Hampton. Bobby’s a very smart guy, but let’s put his comments about Obama in perspective: Obama challenged Rush for his congressional seat, losing two-to-one. After the campaign, Bobby said ““He (Obama) was blinded by his ambition. Obama has never suffered from a lack of believing that he can accomplish whatever it is he decides to try. Obama believes in Obama. And, frankly, that has its good side but it also has its negative side.”
That’s a fair assessment, I think. That congressional district is Chicago’s — and therefore Illinois’ — most Democratic district. Also one of the city’s poorest. Of course the Harvard Law School graduate came off as elitist. Folks in that neighborhood dream of their kids’ surviving long enough to get into one of the city colleges.
George Haberberger
March 4, 2012 - 6:44 am
Having a strong academic background made it easy for Obama to sound like he knew what he was talking about — even when he really didn’t.
And still doesn’t, by the way.
Hillary had more experience than Obama and Palin had more experience than either of them. And when Obama made gaffes or misspoke it was not given the attention that something Palin said.
Reelz channel is showing the Palin documentary “Undefeated” next weekend. Granted, it is a pro-Palin film, but no more pro-Palin than almost any news coverage of Obama in 2008. She had the experience, Check it out if you don’t mind you preconceptions challenged.