Another One Of Those days, by Michael Davis – Straight No Chaser #267 | @MDWorld
May 4, 2012 Michael Davis 3 Comments
Last week I wrote about having one of those rare moments of despondency in my life. I also said that I had no idea why I was not feeling my usual bright and chipper self.
This week I have plenty of reason to feel shitty.
I’m a neat freak and three times in the last two weeks I’ve had a repairman come to my home to fix my broken washing machine.
The problem with the machine is always the same, the drum simply stops turning. The problem is the same but somehow every time the mechanic comes out he finds a different reason why the drum stops turning.
“The machine was clogged.”
“There was a sock wrapped around the drum.”
“Your pump is broken.”
The first two were covered by my very expensive extended warranty.
The ‘pump’ was not.
The pump cost me $300.00 in parts and labor.
ONE day after I replaced the pump the drum stopped turning again.
Clearly the fucking company fixing my machine is not fixing my machine.
I don’t give a fuck why they can’t fix it. I don’t care if they are running a scam, I don’t care if they are simply bad at their jobs, and I don’t care if they were absent that day in washing machine school when my particular machine was the subject. I don’t care WHY they suck, they SUCK and I never want to see those people in my house again.
I talked to Helen at the extended warranty company who told me they must keep sending out the same company to fix it because that company guarantees their work.
WHAT THE FUCK?
Me: I want a different company to fix my machine.
Helen: Sir, we have to use the same company because they guarantee their work.
Me. They have been out here twice and THREE times the work they have done to fix the machine has NOT fixed the machine. I can guarantee you I’m Brad Pitt that does not make it so.
Helen: . . .
Me: If you send out the same company I guarantee you I will call up every single consumer reports reporter…
Helen: Sir-we will send out another company.
Me. What about my $300.00 dollars? I paid for a pump and STILL the problem was not fixed. Clearly the problem was not the pump.
Helen: Sir…we…I…just a moment while I speak to my supervisor…
Me: Sure, I’ll be speaking to my lawyer.
Helen: Sir, we will be happy to reimburse you for that expense.
That-I swear was the exact way that phone call went.
Yes-I was loud and yes I was pissed and yes I made sure Helen- the kind yet unprepared for my ire, Lowes extended warranty person knew it.
I’ve said this before and long time readers of my rants know this-I’m a serious neat freak. Not having my washing machine work for me is like leaving a pile of dog shit in the middle of a white linen draped table during Christmas dinner and expect people to still eat there.
So-that happened…then I got this little gem today…two, count them two, networks turned down the same great idea from me today.
I get turned down all the time (ask just about any cute Asian girl who happens to be near me at Comic Con) being turned down is not a big deal.
It’s WHY I was turned down.
I’m so mad I’m calm.
That’s mad.
Trust me.
That’s really mad.
You would be mad also if you knew why the project was turned down.
This from David Quinn after I told him what happened; “It’s 2013 and this shit still goes on?”
I made a promise not to talk about it so as not to put a trusted friend in a fucked up position.
So-I won’t talk about it.
Yet.
You know what’s funny? I’m seriously mad but not upset. Let me explain what that means-I’m angry at the situation but not upset about it in anyway that it’s bothering me. When something bothers me I can’t work.
When I can’t work I feel like a waste of life. I much prefer to be angry than have something bother me.
In fact I’m feeling rather good all things considered. You know what they say, the best revenge is living well…and I’m living well… while I plan my revenge.
David Quinn
May 4, 2012 - 8:45 am
It’s still 2013. And it’s another day to kick some ass.
Jonathan (the other one)
May 4, 2012 - 9:44 am
Meanwhile, here in consensual reality, it’s 2012. 🙂
I know what you mean about the state of your anger, though, Dr. Michael. There’s an old saying, one I heard first from Isaac Asimov – “Beware the wrath of the patient man.” When you’re angry and calm – that’s when the targets of your ire should be pissing their pants…
Jeremiah Avery
May 4, 2012 - 10:21 am
I like the saying “If you see me smiling, then it’s already too late for you.”
Martha Thomses
May 4, 2012 - 10:53 am
I will gladly talk washing machine horror with you at any time. In my building, we need to swipe per-paid cards to do laundry. And then you load up a card and the machine says its u readable.
MOTU
May 4, 2012 - 11:10 am
My NEW repairman just left and the machine seems to be working fine…for now.
I’m with you Jeremiah-if someone came up to me screaming ” I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!!” I’d be a whole lot less concerned than if someone calmly said; “I”m going to kill you.”
Jonathan (the other one)
May 4, 2012 - 11:43 am
If you can see the MOTU – it’s already too late. Smiling or not. 🙂 (Of course, if you can’t see the MOTU, it may be because he’s sneaking up on you…)
Mike Gold
May 4, 2012 - 11:50 am
Let’s see if I understand this, MOTU. You buy a new computer about every other week, but you have Jesse White come in to repair your washing machine three times?
Frank Zappa wrote a great song about this, called Flakes:
All what we got here’s
American made
It’s a little bit cheesey,
But it’s nicely displayed
Well we don’t get excited when it
Crumbles ‘n’ breaks
We just get on the phone
And call up some Flakes
They rush on over
‘N’ wreck it some more
‘N’ we are so dumb
They’re linin’ up at our door
Well, the toilet went crazy
Yesterday afternoon
The plumber he says
“Never flush a tampoon!”
This great information
Cost me half a week’s pay
And the toilet blew up
Later on the next day ay-eee-ay
Blew up the next day WOO-OOO
Jeremiah Avery
May 4, 2012 - 12:32 pm
Martha, that happens to me in my building! It’s especially frustrating when I already have one machine going and the next one says “bad card”. How the hell can that be so if it was just read! Sometimes I can’t exactly just take everything out and put it in another one – especially when a lot of people seem to not come down until hours later to remove their items from the machines.
Mike Gold
May 4, 2012 - 1:27 pm
Martha, did you try your MetroCard? Since they rarely work in the subway, maybe they’ll work in your laundry.
R. Maheras
May 6, 2012 - 1:39 am
MOTU — I was a technical manager for Sears Home Central in 1999, and supervised more than a dozen laundry technicians who averaged more than 400 service calls a week in the northern part of Chicago and the near north suburbs (and, for a stretch, I even ended up with the cooking and refrigeration technicians in that zone as well). And even though we had a customer service department at our branch, the customers in my technicians’ zone who had recurring problems or were particularly irate were routed to me for resolution. I sure handled my fair share of disgruntled customers, and to be totally honest, while a significant number of people tried to game the system, in many cases the customers had a valid beef. Since I had an aircraft avionics system maintenance background, if the problem was electric or mechanical (as opposed to simply multiple service-call cancellations by techs who couldn’t finish their routes), I’d often go over the entire troubleshooting process step-by-step to make sure nothing was overlooked and the technician wasn’t just guessing at the problem (“swaptronics” in technician parlance).
A year later, I was the public relations manager for Amana Appliances, then the fifth largest appliance manufacturer in the United States. And even though they had a much bigger, national-level customer service department, any complaints involving the media were immediately routed to me. For example, once a producer from “60 Minutes” had multiple service calls for his balky window air conditioner and his problem was dumped in my lap as soon as he identified himself as a producer of “60 Minutes” (and yes, I checked — he really was).
There are a few things that can cause a washing machine drum to not spin, and since I have not examined the machine, I’m not even going to hazard a guess.
However, I will say this: If your machine is under its original warranty or an extended maintenance agreement warranty, and the techs keep coming out and can’t fix the problem, a reputible company will replace the machine outright when pressed hard by a customer with a valid beef. I had to do it fairly regularly at Sears, and I also had to do it at Amana. For example, that “60 Minutes” producer I mentioned earlier got a brand new machine because it was simply just taking too long to fix his problem.
MOTU
May 6, 2012 - 2:21 pm
R,
THANK YOU!!
I’m writing my “Where is my new machine” letter as soon as I finish typing this!
R. Maheras
May 6, 2012 - 8:56 pm
MOTU — If the manager handling the techs in your area is smart, he/she will send their best technician out to look at your machine. My best laundry tech was Willie M. — then a 20+ year veteran of Sears — and if Willie told me a machine could not be repaired, I replaced it. Willie was that good.
R. Maheras
May 6, 2012 - 8:58 pm
I should add above “repaired economically” because that was generally the deciding factor.
Vinnie Bartilucci
May 7, 2012 - 12:15 pm
Flanders and Swann’s observances on this issue are summed up in the song “The Gas Man Cometh”.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyeMFSzPgGc
I’m as insufferable about people who don’t do their jobs right as you are. I don’t seek the situations out, but when I get one, I must admit I enjoy getting what I want. It’s that feeling of triumph over incompetence.
Sirius XM regularly just forgets to bill my credit card, and then shuts down my account saying I didn’t pay. And I call, and I tell them to look at my account, and look at ALL the other times I’ve called about the same issue, and just turn the damn thing back on and give me a free month. And they’ve gotten to the point that they just do. It’s amazing that they can’t / won’t fix their system.
David Quinn
May 9, 2012 - 5:03 pm
J, I think you know what we mean by 2013. The air we breathe is still 2012 but our project development calendars are in next spring already. I’m still trying to calm down…