The Apprentice, by David Rhoades – Straight No Chaser, Guest Edition | @MDWorld

June 14, 2012 Victor El-Khouri 6 Comments

Hey MDW, this is resident apprentice David Rhoades here. I’ll be filling in for Michael this week. I’m here this week because Michael is “…dealing with some grade-A idiot celebrity who is really pissing me off.” He decided it would be better to calm down than to bare his soul and burn a few dozen bridges.

Y’know, I’m at the ripe ol’ age of twenty-one years old now, which means I’ve been apprenticing under Michael for somewhere around three, three and a half years. I’m starting to get my own professional work, so any minute now I expect to be made a full-fledged studio assistant! I’ve actually known Michael for about five years, and in that time I’ve learned a lot. But the most astonishing thing I’ve learned?

Michael Davis can predict the future.

I mean, there are people who are observant…then there are people who could conceivably pass themselves off as psychic. Michael is one of the second group of people. I’m the kind of person who will do whatever I can not to be a burden. So, y’know, whenever someone asks me if I’m hungry, I’ll say no. I don’t want to be a bother, so even if I haven’t eaten in weeks I don’t want anyone to go through any trouble. That never flew in the Studio.

“Hey man, you hungry?”

“No, no I’m good, thanks.”

“ I KNOW you’re hungry.Why you lyin’ to me, man?”

“…”

Okay, that may have been an educated guess, but read on…

HE KNOWS. He KNOWS  when I’m lying. There’s no escape. The first time I came into the Studio, I thought he would fire me if thought I was being less than honest with him. (I think I just watched way too many episodes of Entourage). And getting fired in my first week wasn’t an option. You know how long it took me to get into the Studio?

A year. A YEAR. A year to a senior in high school is like four life-sentences back-to-back. There was no way I was gonna risk it all just ‘cause I admitted to lying about being hungry. So I kept insisting I wasn’t hungry until he simply gave me food.

Yes, I ate it. It would have been rude not to…and I was hungry!

As he got to know me, things got even spookier. I had been dating a girl my first year of college, and one day I brought her over to meet Michael. The next day Michael said to me, “She’s cool, man. Just don’t fall in love before she does. That will mess you up, and more importantly, mess up MY day hearing about it.”

Translated, for those who don’t know Michael-speak: “When you guys break up (and it’s gonna be bad), try to keep your work professional.”

Only a few months later, things went south REAL quick. Fiery, burning crash into a live Icelandic volcano bad. And you know what? Michael understood it, because he predicted it, and he also predicted I would find someone much better because I was a “good guy.” Again, he was right. I learned a valuable lesson when I broke up with my former girlfriend about being professional despite personal hardship. While I was down in the dumps, Michael only laughed at me once…a day for about a month.

And now, here I am. Twenty one years old, a little stronger and a little wiser. A GREAT girlfriend, I’m a lot better at my art, and no better at lying (which I think might be a good thing). And after years of hard work and Michael being right about everything, both good and bad, I’m finally going to be able to attend Michael’s party at Comic Con!

Let me tell you guys, no matter the hardships or how many times Michael has eerily predicted events, like what comic book executive would be fired at DC when Marvel bought Disney.

Who does that? Who predicts who’s going to be fired at one company because of what happens at another company? He predicts that sort of thing all the time. All the time.

What gets me is how he predicts when and how I will screw something up. Well, it makes me a better professional and I’m screwing up a lot less. But none of that matters as long as I finally get to attend his Comic Con party this year. You know what it’s like to be a part of the Davis entourage and not get to go to The Party?

It’s like when you’re six, and Mom and Dad are going out to the movies, but then you get left behind because you’re six!

Anyway, I digress. Apprenticing is a costly thing, but I’ve never done anything so valuable in my life. Sure, I might have to give up little things (like friends and family) to learn from The Master Of The Universe, but it’s never been so hard that I forget one thing:

I’m well on my way to becoming a professional writer and artist. And that makes everything all right.